Reviews for Feast
403 Forbidden chapter 1 . 6/24/2008
This is a [retty decent poem. It sort of encapsulates the feeling of going out and having a good time. The flow, however, was variable. The line "and we celebrate the return of light" flowed flawlessly, rhyming well with "gather round for we feast tonight." The line "hear the copper sing its sweet ring" I felt was a little clunky. You made close to no technical errors that I cought. I wonder if you meant for the last line "'Til winter freezes more than rain once more" to start with a capital "T." Your word choice for the most part added to the atmosphere of your poem. It created a sort of olde timey feel, to me at least. I could be very wrong but oh well. I (being the nitpicky OCD person that I am) would use the word again in place of the second more in the last line. I liked the word choice "winds have left with thier sobering chills" because it feels laced with iciness. All of this is just my opinion and I could be very off in interperetation. Still, I very much enjoyed this poem.

Peace out.
Chidori Nadare chapter 1 . 6/23/2008
From the title itself, I didn't expect anything much but when I read the actual thing (I loved the summary though), I absolutely loved it.

The flow is really good and the punctuations are also good. Hm...the stanzas didn't feel chunky/disjointed or anything...everything just fits, you know.

I'm absolutely in love with the old English/medieval/early Renaissance feel to this, partly because of the exquisite images I see here. "Shake the lingering dreariness from your bones,

dance bright colour back into your cheek."-I love this image so much. Very vivid and pretty.

Overall, it's a wonderful read and I enjoyed reading it. Great job.

B. J. Winters chapter 1 . 6/21/2008
I openned this because it had no reviews, and all good works should be read.

I liked the theme and the old english feel. The second stanza in particular felt like you were setting a Kingly picture, and I enjoyed that. A bit different from all the emo typically posted.

The last stanza has a different flow pattern than the others and all one sentence. I wasn't sure that worked as well. I see where you're going that but "sweeping the village clean" didn't quite give me closure. Perhaps more of a sleep feel? Something counter point to party/feast.

Meat and Feet. Yes they rhyme, but I don't think I've ever seen them in poetry before. It's novel, but hum, just didn't feel as poetic as some of the other stanzas. Maybe save the dancing feel for the next phrase?

Overall nicely done.