The bath scene was hilarious!

You made a mistake patines si spelled in all this is a wonderful story!

How old is Alex and how does he look ?

:O! does He like her :O i cant wait to find out what happens next!

this story is great, its practically gold, i hope you can update soon, i just cant wait!

really good :) can't wait for more

Hey , love to follow your story!

It's me again. Sorry, I forgot to add two more points:

1. You misspelled your title, Forbidden is spelled with two "d's" not one. This is really important since some people will take one look at the title see that you misspelled the title and not read it because it'll give them the impression that since you misspelled the title you're story might also be riddled with errors. It basically gives a really bad first impression.

2. Within the story you also misspell very simple words. These misspellings could be caught by a simple read through and/or running spell check on Word. I don't mean to sound rude, but there's really no excuse for some of the misspellings. Your grammar also needs some work. Some of your mistakes or very simple to fix, all you have to do is read through what you write before you post it (and run the document through spell check on Word).

Okay, I'm done now... I really do like this story, I just want to help you improve it.

Okay... I have to be honest here... while this is a interesting story, I have to say that I have a few problems with it:

1. You need to add detail and description, most of the time I have a really hard time picturing anything in my head.

2. Show, don't tell. Since this is first person POV, you need to do a better job showing the reader how Eva feels and what she sees, not telling us.

3. I noticed that you told another reviewer that this story was set in the 1800's... um, if that's the case, you need to do your research and try to make this as historically accurate as possible since people living back then lived differently then we do now. For example, most people did not have running and even though electricity had been invented by this time, not everyone had it in their homes. It's those little things that will give this story a much more realistic feel.

4. Your prose is choppy at some points, this is an easy fix: all you need to do is vary your sentence structure. Too many of your sentences begin with a subject followed by a verb, this gets boring for the reader really quickly. You can vary your sentence structure by using commas and semi-colons in replacement of periods (this will also make your sentences longer).

I know it's a lot and I really hope I didn't offend you, but I'm only trying to help.

I do like this story, so I will continue to read it. Which means that I will be waiting patiently for you to update!

OMG! This is really food, you have to update soon... please... I love how Alex acts like he's bi-polar, good than mean, it makes the story a lot more interesting

So you've updated post soon!

)

Alex is an a**hole! please update soon!

i like it it is good.. so one thing though i don't know if you said or not but how old are they?

I love it :)

Something fresh and new :D

WOW i knew this was coming but not this soon.i mean that was perfect and just wow. there was a few mistakes in the but every author has them. keep up the good work.