Reviews for Broken heart's Day
The Hippie Nerd chapter 1 . 6/20/2008
I really like this. The emotion is there throughout and it feels personal. The ellipses at the end are very effective. I especially love: "It's true we were inseparable / but we never looked into each other's eyes."
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 6/18/2008
"It made me good until I" did you mean it made you feel good?

"To this day I realize you were my first love".. coma at the end.

I get where you were going with the last line, but it seemed out of place. I think just starting it with an and to connect it to the rest of the stanza would work.

The whole piece is very bittersweet and relateable. I liked the part about enver looking into each other's eyes, kinda like foreshadowing.
Averybarbarian chapter 1 . 6/16/2008
Hmm interesting poem. It relays the love and loss of someone who has managed to become the very essence of light within ones’ once darkened world. I especially liked the lines “It made me good until I/became addicted to a happiness” Unfortunately many have come to become addicted to the form of happiness only a relationship can bring but often it is purely out of desperation the longing for a companion to fill the ever gaping hole within ones heart. sigh great poem by the way. The words articulated the feeling you were trying to portray well. Good job! Keep writing )
Counting Petals chapter 1 . 6/16/2008
I like how you used the sunflower to symbolize your relationship and the happiness that was connected to it. Nicely done )
Thoughtful Silence chapter 1 . 6/16/2008
I really liked this. The title was nice, and I loved the ellipsis at the end - t'was a nice touch. Anyways, keep up the good work.

-Thoughtful
Payton Alex10 chapter 1 . 6/16/2008
Cool poem. You definently have a unique way of writing. Oh, and thanks for the review on my piece "Why?"
Laura Schiller chapter 1 . 6/16/2008
There's an extra n in "shining" in the last line.

I like the line: we were inseparable, but we never looked into each other's eyes". It says a lot about a relationship that has something wrong.
amelodyofspring chapter 1 . 6/15/2008
aw, this is sad. i can definitely relate to it, since i've had a situation like that (with the valentine's day gift and everything!)

kudos.

srz
Jenni Mills chapter 1 . 6/14/2008
Was this supposed to read 'It made me 'FEEL'good '?

What a sad little poem. It takes me back to my days in high school when all I wanted was to dance with a boy called 'Andrew'. I really like poems that can bring ou thtat kind of emotion in me. To me it's a sign of a poem well written.