|Reviews for Immortal Sapphire|
| GrannyP chapter 6 . 12/16/2008
Haha! Well, that explains the missing words! Now I know!
Anyway.. still reading, still enjoying. I'm just captivated by this story. Man. Seriously, it's great!
| GrannyP chapter 4 . 12/16/2008
I just want to let you know that I am reading this story and thoroughly enjoying it. No, really, I love it. And usually I am one to review every single chapter just to give as much feedback as possible as I go along, but I THOUGHT I would just wait and do it all at the end. But then it turned out that I couldn't wait that long. I had to tell you now that this story is great. There were a couple of words missing in this chapter (I do that a lot when I write!) but that was no big deal.
Yeah, I really love this little world you have created, and I look forward to reading more later!
| AlijaS117 chapter 10 . 12/4/2008
wow! amazing story! please update soon :D
| Belle Morte858 chapter 10 . 11/24/2008
I love the shift its really awsome im glad Vandens back in the picture. Its been a long time so i hope you update again soon! LOVE THE STORY BTW!
| Written chapter 10 . 11/18/2008
hi! I like this story quite a bit. the heartbreak with vanden at the start was palpable and gave us the feeling of a real girl. at some point, however, you describe him as being "only several years older" which I feel is sort of an odd descriptor.
this story has a lot of heart, but I feel you might want to give a bit more description in scenes. like, more prose, less dialogue? I don't know if that's the word for it, but yeah. at the very start, for example, there was a lot going on before I had a good grasp on where the story was taking place or who all the names were.
taking things a bit slow might be something to keep in mind when you write the next chapter or even the next time you start a new story. this doesn't mean your story is bad the way it is, you know? just something to work on.
the part with the death of her parents was so sad! that part really stuck out to me :(
anyway, I do enjoy this. you should update soon! and you probably already know this, but your story has been nominated at the tiro awards. voting starts dec. 1, so perhaps you could tell your readers to vote for you the next time you update.
| Inspired-Delusions chapter 10 . 11/14/2008
Hey! Its creative writer from quizilla. Can I just say that your story is well, fascinating! Its really taken off now, I absolutely LOVE it. A good plot, characters are none stop entertaining and the setting, its just mesmerising!
| Litessence chapter 10 . 10/27/2008
the story gets better every second!
keep going, it brilliant!
| fangkiss chapter 10 . 10/26/2008
I'm so happy to be finally caught up on 'Immortal Saphire', it is an amazing story and I'm glad to have the chance to read your work again :] Can't wait for the next update.
| Dzain chapter 10 . 10/20/2008
| Secret Lakehouse chapter 10 . 10/18/2008
Hello, I like that you switched the views to Vanden's but once more your sentences are a bit choppy. You should add a bit more detail to your scenes. You need to show your reader the scene you envision in your mind, you simple can't tell them. Is the room lit with a warm fire that casted the long shadows of the men and women or is it sunny and hot, not in need of a fire?
Also, if you plan on making it in Vanden's view you shouldn't include what Ellya is doing, and if you do sperate the two so readers know it is different. Other then that I liked this chapter. Good job so far.
| Secret Lakehouse chapter 9 . 9/22/2008
I liked this chapter very much, the emotions were really well played here but I still noticed a few choppy sentences but other than that it was really enjoyable. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
| Belle Morte858 chapter 9 . 9/22/2008
Aw i absolutely loved it! I really am enjoying the plot and the characters especially Luthiens mysterious/charming personality. Ellya is beginning to warm up too. I was wondering though if Vanden would ever have a role in the future, it got me thinking when she starting thinking about him again. Will he have a role again in the future?
Other than that I cant wait to read more...please update again soon!
| Angel of Ink chapter 9 . 9/21/2008
I love this story! It's definitely going on my favorites... D And I can't wait for an update.
Luthien is a really pretty name, by the way.
| nvrwstabreath chapter 8 . 8/25/2008
i love where this is going. It's very well written & i look forward to upcoming chapters! Bravo! :D
| Belle Morte858 chapter 8 . 8/22/2008
OMG LOVED IT! cant wait to read more! update soon!