Reviews for Away With Jenny Wren
Perfect Bliss chapter 5 . 8/21/2008
Hey! Sorry it has taken me so long to review, school's been killing me. This story is addictive, every chapter keeps getting better. As for the antagonist, I'm really intrigued! And Jenny Wren is so weird. God, your characters are so messed up! I loved them. Your writing style is captivating.

Please continue soon! I'm loving every word of it.

By the way, thanks a lot for the review you left me on "Music Was Our Story" I'm glad you liked it, I will try to write the next chapter as soon as I can. Also thanks for pointing out my typos. I will fix it once I have time. :D

Thanks again and continue!
criti-sized chapter 4 . 8/12/2008
Okay, so I read in your AN that Liam's gonna make a show, I'm excited, lol.

[Liam is an absolute mess.] Even for a beginning sentence, the obviousness of it makes it funnier.

[“Brilliant,” I say. “And yourself?”] Great way to express it. Brilliant, lol.

[“I’ve been better. Some psycho beat me up for no reason, didn’t you hear?”] That some psycho bit had me laughing really hard. I wonder if he knows who did it.

[I am almost certain that Liam can wait years if he really wants to.] I almost imagine that he can too, but maybe getting the shittake mushrooms beat out of him changed him... Then again, maybe not.

[“Her name is Jenny Wren. She spat at me.”] I love this reply. It sounds so dead, but it's so alive at the same time.

[“As long as you’re not cheating on Sandy.” He pats me on the back. “I heard about you two—nice one! She’s almost hot without the acne, isn’t she?”] Wow, Liam' being friendly. A bit too friendly.

[“Her fingers. They’re too long, like spider legs. Do you think she’d be happier if I cut them off, one by one?”] LMAO, this sentence made me double take and I started laughing abruptly. Even as hirt as he is, he's talking about cutting Sandy's fingers.

[“I’m kind of wounded at the moment, Luca,” he says. “So I need you to do a few things for me.”] Oh, no. What could be possibly need.

[“Your little sister has a horrible, ugly face. She’s always frowning, your Katie. How about I cut her a new hole to smile from?”] Whoa, that was unexpected. But I like the way that you had it Luca handled it. Walking away was the smartest thing.

[“And you have blood on your face, Luca.”] What the hell? How'd he get blood on his face?

[Katie stares at me as I tell her to watch her back. Her eyes grow wider and wider, and her face becomes very pale.] Poor baby. She shouldn't have to watch her back like that.

[My best friend died because of him—it doesn’t take much for everyone else to put two and two together and come up with five, you know?”] I laughed at his comments about taking two an two and getting five rather than four. I do that to my little sister and she thinks I'm crazy.

[“Luca, calm down.”] Oh, I hate it when people tell me to calm down. It tends to make me angrier if I am angry.

[“You don’t know that.”] What is she talking about, he's the one in high school. He should know.

[“Yeah, thanks, I know, but that’s…that’s not what I meant.”] Okay, I'm beypnd curious. I wonde what he meant.

[The way that doesn’t involve blood and broken bones. The way that doesn’t involve Katie.] Does that mean doing what Liam asks?

[And what partwill I play—me, the person who wished destruction on them all?] There's an FP sticky word. But this sentence had me laughing at his thoughts.

[I swim in solar plasma.] As usual, there's something about this sentence that just sums up how he feels so easily.

[“You should wait.”] The whole scenario leading to this sentence had my mouth hanging open at how she wants to have a baby, until this one. I laughed.

[“You’re so weird, Luca.”] Well, look at the pot calling the kettle black.

[“You’ve got to understand that where I come from, fertility is a gift. An honour. Star here is the only—”] Hm, did she just spill the beans to something she wasn't supposed to?

[Jay’s smile turns crooked. “You’re soannoying.”] Another sticky word 0.0

Wow, awesome chapter. I guess that Jenny is weird just like Luca, which kinda makes them good for each other, if you plan on having that, lol.

This chapter has risen so may questions in my mind that I can't even think of all of them, lol.

The second part was a bit of a suprise to me. I had to read over it a second time to understand what happened to him, but it made me mad when I finally got it. I guess because I'm more of an action person, if I don't care, doing nothing sets me off, lol.

Great chapter.

C.S.
Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 4 . 8/11/2008
Heyo! Yours truly again. :) Anyway, glad to review this one again. Never imagined you'll update again so soon. :) Well, first things first, I do think that Luca is getting more like a nutjob with every passing day here from what I've seen. Interesting to see where this will turn out. And Liam is a sick guy as well. Something like the villain in some random psycho flick. Anyway, I don't know why, but after seeing this chapter, I've got a vague idea on where this is going. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. Jenny just seems to be some humanoid race in some random world. I don't know tbh. Anyway, this chapter's rather interesting as in you've managed to create suspense with minimum effort. I'll be ver interested to see where this is going. :)
Mosaic Stains chapter 2 . 8/10/2008
This always happens to me. I say I'll return later and instead I return very much later.

Well, to start out, I really like the tone of this chapter from the beginning until the end. The part I like the where he went to the hospital to see his mother and stopped at Luca's room... As well as the end with his mother. I know exactly what it feels like to watch someone you love weither from cancer that can't be cured. The embarrassing moments included...

In so many ways, I felt sorry for him and the fact that not only his mother was dying but that she never realized he was a boy. That's a sad reality. And what's worse is that he has the ability to superficially heal something but not a disease that is deeper.

I guess the best way to end this is by putting that I liked the chapter I whole lot... and that's a first for me when it comes to reading an angst story. So "mucho" kudos!

{God! I think this is the first time I want to say more about a chapter because I like it, but have nothing much to say except repeats of what I put.}
Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 3 . 7/30/2008
Heya! It's me after such a long time MIA here. :) Anyway, guess you're back up on updating, huh? Well, I can really say that what Jenny Wren said here could be really philosiphical. I guess she's really a deep person in nature , huh? And yeah, I do really think Luca is a bit messed up in the head. As for Liam being the big bad guy or not, I guess it's a fifty-fifty call given that everything's from Luca's POV. Anyway, have you ever thought of writing certain chapters here from another person's POV? I don't think Luca's POV is really accurate given the mental issues. Anyway, interesting chapter here. Hope to see you update again soon. :) And yeah, I don't think I can read you other update now since it's getting late. I'll try to R&R by Friday though. :)
Unknowning chapter 3 . 7/29/2008
This chapter was very interesting. Jenny Wren is very strange...and your characters are so real. I also find it interesting how he looks at the similarities between Jenny and his mother. Can't wait for the next chapter!
A Reader Peep chapter 3 . 7/28/2008
I'm hooked...more than I was before. xD
criti-sized chapter 3 . 7/24/2008
I know how you feel about finishing a chapter, but not updating it for awhile... I have that problem badly.

[As always, she’s wearing a black skirt and a T shirt, and her braids are done up in pink ribbons that match her shoes. She looks like she’s just been cut out of some crappy magazine. Now that’s dedication.] Wow, I had the image and the next sentence took the words out of my mouth.

[I’m wearing odd socks today— plain red and black Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle] Lol, that'd be a sight to see.

[“She’s happy.”] Good answer, it's not a lie, but it won't make Morgan bother him too much about it.

[“Well, I hear he’s coming back today anyway; talk to him!”] What's she talking about? Didn't she go to high school, there are rules about talking to people that beat on other people, then get beat on.

[And so impressively ‘down with the kids’.] Tell me about it, lol.

[who would want to admit to being hospitalised by me?] This had me laughing for a good minute.

[“Brilliant,” I reply.] Lol, I should start saying that to my boss, she hates it that I always say 'I'm alive'.

[I want to slip cyanide into her coffee and watch as her organs fail.] Now that'd make him feel brilliant.

[“Fuckwit,” I mutter as her footsteps echo down the corridor.] I normally call people 'fuckface', lol.

[Wednesday is my sixteenth birthday. That will be thrilling.] Wow, I can't remember being sixteen. Every birthday looks the same now, lol.

[So she’s named after a bird. Great.] LMAO

[“What?” Flat-chested and an idiot. Wonderful.] His thoughts are so interesting.

[“Really? Because her name’s Katie and she’s eleven?”] Right? I hate eleven year olds, lol. They talk too much and think they know a lot because they can read. At all the eleven year olds I run into.

[“Why?” she asks.] A silver tongue is good, but silence is golden.

[Jenny’s face falls. “God, Luca… I can’t even try to empathise…”] Well, most times people don't have to, that why we fake our feelings.

[The good thing is that this shuts her up.] Lol.

[The silly cow is trying to blackmail me.] Lol. Every time I hear cow or read it, I think of the movie Stardust, where he called the girl a stupid cow.

[“Kiss her, Luca,” she mutters. “Kiss her good.”] Yeah, this one isn't a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

[“Sandy picks her nose and eats it,” Betty says bitterly.] Lol, my first thought was eww, gross, but now I find it extremely funny. My morose humour is taking over.

[My sister shrugs. “Go, Luca.”] Lol, and he actually took her.

[“My parents aren’t ornithologists,” she says in a low voice. “They’re dead.”] What a break through.

Wow, ths chapter was full of a lot, but I loved it. It was really juicy. And jenny, yeah, just as Luca thinks, she is a weird one. But she seems like a magnet in a sort of way, where you can't help but like her.

Awesome chapter.

C.S.
Sour Plums chapter 3 . 7/24/2008
dude, Jenny Wren is so weird! Spitting on Luca? WTF?

I'm really confused about the whole gender thing with Luca. Perhaps you'll clear it up later?

About your stories being cryptic, I think that's what makes them REALLY good, because the story unravels as you write. That's how to write professionally in my mind.
Samantha Marie Haven chapter 2 . 7/14/2008
well, first off i must say i love the title!

normally, i'd say things i liked then give tips or critiscm of some sort depending on what the authors looking for. i'm sorry if your looking for critiscm, because i was honestly reading and reading and enjoying because there were no grammar or spelling issues, the narrator had an engaging, entertaining voice, and the elements of the story were wonderul. It was just something i found by accident but it was a great read, seemingly simple, but deep in its own way. the writing itself was fairly basic, but you see, it was perfect that way, especially with how the narrator's voice commented on things so only the reader would know, and not the other characters. it's effective that way, because its as if your truly delving into the character, reading her very thoughts. loved it. :)

happy writing!

~Samantha Marie
Mosaic Stains chapter 1 . 7/12/2008
I swear I need to get out and read more within the fictionpress capacity... I haven't done that in quite sometime, just like reviewing you.

Well, interesting for chapter... story... I was wondering how do you mix angst with fantasy? I'll see...

Anyway, when I was reading the first part I kept wonder what is Lucas talking about, or rather who is he talking about? I'm not an easily confused person, but I found myself confused by the who. Don't worry though I got it... I was just tired when I first read it.

On a personal level, I think it's pretty messed up he's being bullied and that his friend killed himself, but the way he delivers his thoughts are pretty funny and not entirely angsty... Witty is the better word.

I would review you longer, but I stupidly decided to review several people before I had to go to work.

I'll return later...

Nice chapter though. Very interesting...
Sour Plums chapter 2 . 7/10/2008
whoa whoa whoa so wait... Luca is a guy? Your stories are always so cryptic! But that's ok, that's why I like them!
Perfect Bliss chapter 2 . 7/9/2008
Hi, although I was highly dissapointed with the ending of "The Obsession with Jack" I must say I really like your way of writing. The summary of this story immediatly attraped me and I started reading it and couldn't stop. I think the plotline it's very interesting so far, it makes you want to know more about their past and yet about what's going to happen in the future. You have a way with words, this is beautifully written and I hope you do continue because I'm really enjoying it so far. Good luck and thank.
Alteng chapter 2 . 7/3/2008
Oh, Liam isn't the narrator. Sorry about that one.

Anyway, you know it is funny that you created Luca this way, in that his mother thought him a girl. He does come off very feminine at times, or at least androgynous (I think I spelled that one right . . . maybe, it is too early in the morning!)

The condition his mother is in explains a lot. How many more things can you do to the poor woman. I think it would be bad enough that she is dying because she has taken too many drugs. Then you have to give her cancer as well. It is almost becoming funny in that morbid way.

This chapter was a real tear jerker on this part. The bit with Liam's parents was interesting in contrast. In a way, the mother talking about her jazz dancing lessons almost makes her sound uncaring, but then again she is at the hospital for him.

The foster parents actually sound nice. I wonder if Luca will stay with them once his mother dies or will he have to go to an orphanage or another home.

This story is now caught up. I'm getting there.
Alteng chapter 1 . 7/2/2008
We are up to our angsty ways, aren't we. I am writing about Olivier, and you have this story.

This was a bit odd with the singing. Liam's feelings about Mikey seem very human. You always blame yourself for someone else's death, suicide or otherwise.

It was neat how you have liam talk about how much he was like Mikey, then he discovers he is stronger. I am assume Liam is a boy. I am not familiar with that name. Duh?

The working of the relationship between Liam and Sandy I could identify with as well to some extent, but I could never be as strong as Liam in talking to Sandy.
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