Reviews for Away With Jenny Wren
Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 2 . 7/2/2008
Hey yer there! It's me again lol! XD Anyway, sorry for being a bit late. Still in Euro mood lol! :D Well, basically, I'll say it's a good chapter overall since it really did some explaining on Luca's background. And Liam being a bully? Erm, not too sure on that if what I remember in the previous chapter is true. :S Anyway, the whole part on Luca's mom is rally sad tbh. I think you mean that to happen. All in all, a good chapter in terms of angst and many other stuff as well. tbh, I think this is the best, if not, one of the best chapters, you've written for your stories. :) CCs, well nothing to say on this area. Anyway, do update soon! :)
Sour Plums chapter 1 . 7/1/2008
hm... a little different from the other two stories I've read of yours ["the obsession with jack" and "RNA"] and a little odd, not something that I'd normally read, but I love your writing, so I have complete faith in this story.

I'll read the second chapter when I have the chance

And thank you for the kind words on my story about my sabbatical. A little ego boost is always nice, but I still need the break you know?

I can't wait for RNA to be back up, I really like it. Good luck with your exams and such!
criti-sized chapter 2 . 6/29/2008
Okay, I'm back for the next one.

[There is nothing really wrong with that, I suppose.] There is something wrong about that. I remember I couldn't even really cry about my friend because I was so angry all these other people that didn't know her were crying.

[I hate to think what that makes me.] I love this after thought.

[He wasn’t very good, but it made him feel better, and that was something.] Lol, a truth that only a friend can admit.

[I want to tell him what happened to Liam. I want to tell him where he is now; in the hospital with three screws in his right leg, two black eyes and twenty three stitches.] Wow, I wonder what happened to him.

[“If you did what he did, I’d hate you too.”] This made me laugh at how his sister was trying to comfort him, but somehow made it worse.

[Jazz dancing? And this is the woman who gave birth to Liam, who’d taken four of Mikey’s teeth and broken three of his fingers just because he could.] No wonder he became a bully.

[Well, I’m a good kid too.] What does he bring to school then?

[A pirate. Sure, between getting high, going mental, stealing food from skips, and contracting Hepatitis C.] That's rough.

[She asks me this a lot, and I shake my head. I don’t even know who ‘he’ is. Mother doesn’t either, so I’ve given up asking—it just confuses her, and she usually starts crying, which kills me.] That's just as bad as his friend killing himself.

[This is another thing that my mother doesn’t quite get—despite her sordid tales about my various fathers, she thinks it‘s perfectly normal for little girls to have little penises.] Lol, there's nothing wrong with that 0_o

[I’m not ashamed of her; I don’t tell anyone because they’d find the story funny, and they’d laugh at us both. My mother’s illness is not funny; it’s one of the saddest things I know.] And one of the saddest things to have to accept.

Well, another awesome chapter. Try an update soon.

criti-sized chapter 1 . 6/29/2008
I happened to be going through the database and saw your story. The title instantly caught my attention.

[Getting caught was so damn stupid.] Great beginning. Not only is it catchy, but brings a lot of questions to mind.

[the victims, the loners, the weirdoes—in my case, all three.] Lol, not most people can look at themselves for what they really are.

[“Mrs Nuthouse found you in your locker during third period.] LMAO. Don't tell me she was put in there... Okay, guess not.

[Her warm palm feels oddly comforting for someone who doesn’t care much at all.] It's kinda like the boss that wants to know your situation to help, but doesn't care.

[“They won’t know that it was you,”] Oh, that's such bullshit. It'll get out no matter what, it always does.

[Morgan is fighting a losing battle, and the sooner she realises this, the better.] Maybe just a suggestion, but maybe instead of *losing*, you could have a *lost*. It would just sound a little better to me.

[I rub my face subconsciously. My bruise is days old—black and yellow now—I’d forgotten about it. I smile again.] Well, there's no real way to cover it except for the way that he did.

[Everyone is polite and nice, so everyone ignores her.] Wow, I'm surprised that nobody excused her from class.

[I think the rumours are beginning to leak out now.] Can't wait to find out what rumors.

[Mikey’s death has been good for another thing; he is more popular now than he’s ever been.] I remember the same thing happened to a friend of mine in my school. So we made a shirt for her that said, *Live popular or die popular*. It made the school council mad, but they didn't make us stop wearing them.

[“Why were you crying in maths?”] Did you mean *maths*?

I wonder exactly what part of the story Mikey has to do with the story. Apparently he was someone close to the main character, but is dead... Duh, you put that. Okay, and did he just clear her skin by singing. Maybe I read that wrong.

Anyways, your chapter was awesome. I normally don't feel anything about the characters from the first chapter, but this story has me wondering everything about everybody that was mentioned.

Unknowning chapter 1 . 6/18/2008
Wow, I really love this! I was a huge fan of "The Obsession with Jack" and I know that I'm going to love this just as much. I haven't been on Fictionpress in a long time, haha, but I got an email from author alert and couldn't be kept away. This character seems to be very bitter, but I still like him-he seems human. Real. Keep up with the good work, can't wait for the next chapter.
Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 1 . 6/18/2008
Well, bullying really sucks, huh? But tbh, from what I've known, that's a common trend in my country here in terms of statistics. On a side note, I got bullied before when I was a kid. Good thing my parents found out and reported the case straight to the principal or whoever's the one in charge. For some some weird reason, I had hoped the idiot get caned since this kind of punishment is still legal in the educational system unlike the current "no corporal punishment" shit now. Anyway, interesting story here. You really did well in doing angst, huh? But then again, the whole Sandy slapping Luca issue made me go wtf. It was like the whole thing's so sudden, so you may want to work more on this. But then again, I might have missed something. :S And Luca seems to be a rather interesting character, He seems like some kind of paradox to me. He gets bullied, but ended up deciding not to help Sandy who was in the same ship in the future. All in all, in terms of characters, I think this is your best work so far. So yeah, I'll be looking forward to the future plot. :)

P.S: The whole bullying crap here seems to be in line with my background in Bloodfire by coincidential means. But then again, the whole background issue is not just about bullying. It's like money, power and other crap like that. I'll have to say though that it might not be as dark as what you may think though. Now if only I've got a way to portray it. :S
McQuinn chapter 1 . 6/18/2008
Ah! Luca. Crazy boy. I like him, and I really enjoyed reading this chapter. :p I'd leave a longer review, but you already know my thoughts on this story-I love reading this.

Can't wait to read more!

Philip Ellis chapter 1 . 6/18/2008
You avoid falling into a pit of angsty cliches by using a bitter wit in your narration. Interesting turn of events at the end of this chapter. Nicely written.
Kumquat21 chapter 1 . 6/18/2008
Ah. Really, really good. You capture school life perfectly.

Con Crit: Honestly, I didn't realize Luca (an androgynous name) was a guy until the last few chapters. He's an excellent character, but you need to tell a little more about him, probably in the next chapter. I look foreward to reading more!
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