Reviews for His Closet
Farideh chapter 1 . 4/16/2012
This is so sad, and pretty. I loved it
Made To Syn chapter 1 . 12/22/2011
that was... that was deep. it wasn't a fail at poetry. it was good, actually. i might not understand some of the concept; but it was good.
Anonymous chapter 1 . 7/21/2010
Two words: I cried.

It is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read.
InspiredVisionary chapter 1 . 12/29/2009
I love this poem! So sad that the boy has to go through all that, but he has God to rely on.
Rosalina Marcel chapter 1 . 12/22/2009
I like this poem, i'm a christian aswell, it's hard to lean of God, but I guess we all try.
Narq chapter 1 . 7/27/2009
Wow. This was a powerful and moving poem. You intergrated the idea of violence and abuse very gradually, but surely in this piece of work.

"By now they're drunk." - at the start i was a bit uncertain where you were heading off to, but once this sentence went it, I was suspicious. Then, I loved the "On God's chest he lays", a wonderful bit of scenery that shows how much the kid wants help and support.

The last stanza made me have goosebumps. It's a warning, a foresight.

A masterpiece!

narq.
CuriousContradiction chapter 1 . 7/22/2009
Hey there!

I liked this poem, but before I get to the compliments, a few things:

- It was... a little plain. No offense, really. That's just why I don't like rhyme schemes that much. I think even really talented writers are restricted by rhyme schemes sometimes because they're forced to cram in syllables and fit in words while deleting others.

- The last two lines were good, but the focus suddenly shifted to the narrator. It would be nice to see it kept on the boy, although I liked that you had an expansion point.

Anyways, I hope you weren't hurt by any of what I said above, because I'm just commenting. This poem is better than any poem I could ever write. :) I liked the innocence and simplicity of this whole piece though. It's sparse but conveys a lot within a few words. Great work!
er chapter 1 . 7/22/2009
i really liked it...(: and its a good way to procliam your faith. haha:DD
AngelaRochelle chapter 1 . 7/16/2009
Okay, so I don't want to seem like a crazy stalker reviewer or something, but I just wanted to check out this poem before I left the site for the night, and it's a good poem. I think it's so true, and I especially liked the line "On God's chest he lays". I enjoyed it. :)
Anticlimatic Climax chapter 1 . 7/13/2009
Wow. That was.

Wow. Again. You leave me speechless.

You're amazing; your gift of words is highly evident.

My lack of good reviews shouldn't be taken personally.

I just suck at leaving them. :D
MonkeyNightWriter chapter 1 . 7/11/2009
really good. shows the impact on children who deal with problems like these every day. deep and well written.
magnific chapter 1 . 7/10/2009
*shakes head* your piece isn't pathetic at all. you have a lovely, unforced rhyming style. try reading it aloud and sensing where you can fill out some rhythmic gaps. the imagery is honest, fresh, and well, it heartens me to see faith shining through good poetry.

all the best :)
irish-ileana chapter 1 . 7/3/2009
I really like this . . . you sort of assume when you read "His Closet" that this is about a boy afraid of monsters, but you've implicated other violence really well.

The third stanza is really good.

Illy
Unknown Survivor chapter 1 . 9/10/2008
Wow, that was pretty good for your first try. (:

p.s. thanks for the review.

Unknown Survivor
emmerrzz chapter 1 . 9/3/2008
pathetic? WHATEVER! o wow...u really hit a spot with me...it kinda reminds me of my life...and wow (i need a new word...) it's so true though...no doubt there!
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