Reviews for Lily
ph1.0 chapter 1 . 4/28/2011
You have a gift for romance writing. Every romance story of your that I read is sweet and often believable.

I didn't enjoy this story as much as I should because I felt like I was growing older with each line division... But that doesn't change that fact Lily was very well done :)
nicolerools chapter 1 . 4/21/2011
This story was soo good. It made me feel so many emotions, in such a short time. It was wonderful. On helping you improve your writing, I felt that their were a few uneccesary details placed in Lily, for a oneshot. Like I actually think getting rid of the whole first "section" would help, but at the same time it shows how she was spoiled, but still a pretty good kid, which was probably why she was so direct the first time she met Keiran.

The details I'm talking about are just her older brother Liam, and how their born 4 years apart, and some of the description on her parents, but I can understand the reason why you have the arranged marriage and her parents personality types. If there story was longer, than it would be fine as is, because you could use her parents and brother in the story later, but i think its strange how you could just add small parts in, like her parents hugging her at lilys funeral, or anything like that, which could give their role in the story a little more purpose.

Just saying she wasnt close with her parents, as she was with lily's didnt really cut it for me I guess.

Nonetheless, brilliant story :) Keep writing, I'm loving your stories so far
Three'sACompany chapter 1 . 4/7/2011
My god! How sweet :)
urtenshii chapter 1 . 3/28/2011
Adorable.. simply adorable.

i love this story :)

it's simple yet it's cute, and not-so-cliche :)

Keep on writing !
Kina Kalamari chapter 1 . 2/23/2011
Well, I think it's a very intriguing idea, but I think it doesn't really fit into a oneshot. It needed a lot more detail to really make me like, respect, and know your characters. I honestly felt like I knew barely anything about them by the end of that. Basically you just narrated what happened, without actually letting your readers feel it.

But, on the good side, I think that it was very well written, and I think that the story definitely had the potential to be something awesome, if allowed to run its proper course. Personally, I would have loved to see it as a multi-chaptered story. It seems like it would give the characters the room they needed to grow.

Just some food for thought.
larafrancesca chapter 1 . 2/1/2011
Sweet :)
1234 chapter 1 . 1/23/2011
This was so cute!
Anara Celebvilya chapter 1 . 1/13/2011
Oh gods... That was beautiful. I think I'm about to cry. That was so different from most things that I've read. Especially the fact that the two popular kids at school where so nice.

Everything about that story was laid-out and written to perfection. The only thing that was wrong was that there was one typo. I was planning on telling you what it was in this review, but I don't remember, and now I can't find it... So... Yeah. That was really nice though. I loved it!

mi-to-chan chapter 1 . 1/3/2011
So I cried about twice or more throughout that story... Great job on the writing and I didn't exactly expect for the story to make a dramatic 360-degree turn on the crying scale but it was still nicely written and I didn't get turned off halfway. I would have loved to see more of a relationship progess with Vanesa and Kieran. Vanessa's introduction didn't seem to matter after, well, that part basically so I don't know if you should have started that way. But overall, great read for a oneshot. Best wishes!
Crime of Passion chapter 1 . 12/29/2010
I would have been so embarrassed to say something like that to a guy I barely know. Anyway, great story ;)
toujoursmoi chapter 1 . 12/25/2010
Aw...That was really cool. Seriously was...Ridiculously sweet...but was great.

You are a great One-shot writer. The summary drew me in completly and utterly and you held my attention right till the very end where you left content.

Great work...Keep it up. ;)

Da-zGreen chapter 1 . 12/20/2010
Aw. I love this one even more! Gosh, why do you have to be such a freaking good writer! Thanks for posting this up!
Warrior-Princess06 chapter 1 . 12/19/2010
'Hey! It's me again..what can I say?


They're all great..expect a Reviews from me in the near future..

I'm planning to read the others too when i have a lot of time again..hehe.! :)) Anyways, this fic is so sad..poor Lily..but I still love it because it's sweet and beautiful.! :) Kieran and Vanessa
Alexa'sAppleTree chapter 1 . 9/12/2010
This story is good. I never expected to be this way and I never read anything like this. I love your works, so keep doing a good job
WishBlade chapter 1 . 8/31/2010
Sad but beautiful. Thanks for posting!
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