|Reviews for The Storyteller ChroniclesThe Collector of Dehli|
| Kiya14 chapter 9 . 1/19/2009
That was clever! I loved the reference to cooties – very funny! I also love the way in which you explore the power of the mind and especially the imagination in these stories. I was actually sorry that this had come to an end. I’ve really enjoyed reading it. I’m just glad there’s another!
I was pleased that he made a duplicate of himself so that Ainddri could be happy too.
Oh, and I also loved the references to the real ‘missing people’. Well researched.
On to the next one…
| Darkness.Is.Energy chapter 9 . 8/26/2008
Hm... Good, but you need a beta or to proofread and LONGER CHAPTERS!
Otherwise, I'm looking forward to the next installment.
| scriblerian chapter 4 . 7/17/2008
I'm enjoying this one. I think I like it better than eater of the mind.
| Otseis Ragnarok chapter 4 . 7/17/2008
I'm really sad to say that this chapter isn't as good as the others... I think I was more hurt by this fact than expressing my disappointment could ever harm you. Why, you ask do I not hold this chapter in as much reverence? I'll explain:
1). Too heavy on dialogue. For a story told from the perspective of a third-party, telling a story (as complex as I'vemade it sound), this is a horrible notion. Think from the perspective you are writing from. If you were , would you be able to quote so exactly so often? It's really bad...
2). Bad dialogue. The first two paragraphs illustrate my point well enough. (After the first segmentation, of course.) The characters don't seem to be speaking realistically. It's all too overdone. Nobody says that much, explaining everything so consicely. It's a device to explain to the readers, isn't it. It's also unnecessary. Things are understandable enough as they are, nothing was confusing at all.
But that's abotu all the bad there was. On the good side, I'd say the plot is progressing nicely. Things are happening, at a total lack of standstill. I like your pacing, and that's about it for this chapter.
| Otseis Ragnarok chapter 3 . 7/12/2008
Eh? the last sentance breaking the narrative again? That seems to be a pattern, but I could be wrong. It's a good way to build suspense, but It'd be nice to see that happening mid-chapter to catch people off-guard.
Otherwise, I only have one major complaint: chapter length. Why are they all so short? It's a nice, quick read, I suppose, but it's rather annoying.
| Otseis Ragnarok chapter 2 . 7/12/2008
That last sentance... Did you break the narrative? It seems that way.
Regardless, The interaction with the Storyteller and the Indian woman reminds me of The Alchemist. Only with much more sinister overtones.
I'm still loving this story, BTW...
| Otseis Ragnarok chapter 1 . 7/12/2008
Hm... You have my interest. What kind of setting is this? It seems modern, but "eater of minds"? Is this a metaphor, or is something strange going on?
I like how this story is being told as well, a story within a story... It's not done often on this site. My only complaint is how short the chapter is.
| LilyTheMagicWolfCat chapter 1 . 7/8/2008
| scriblerian chapter 2 . 7/1/2008
| Ziribella West chapter 1 . 6/25/2008
Oops, looks like we have a missing portion of a sentence. Check out the second to last sentence. Other than that, I wait breathlessly!
| scriblerian chapter 1 . 6/23/2008
Nice start. Where's more?