|Reviews for Adelaide and the Ghosts|
| chasing givenchy chapter 1 . 2/19/2009
Brilliant, perky and tongue-in-cheek, and very reminiscent of Tom Holt. The exorcism itself had me rolling about on the floor, choking on a laughing fit. It was bee-yoo-ti-ful, especially her secret enjoyment of the book per se. The ghosts' comeback was totally I-should've-seen-that-one-coming, but it was brilliant nonetheless. Like he says, the more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards.
| DemonicBlackCat chapter 1 . 1/2/2009
Ahahaha.. this is very funny. Adelaide is a very typical character, but in the same time, very unique too. I love that you really describe things well without overdoing it. Long descriptions tend to bore me. I love the last line, and the Adelaide's ways to perform her own executions. Clever.
There's only one thing, though. I guess you like to use peculiar words. This is a nice addition, but I think that would pigue more cons than pro. Not many people know that many big words, and now knowing what you're trying to say might be discouraging to readers.
Thanks for sharing!
| Jalindal chapter 1 . 11/8/2008
I popped over because you critiqued my latest submission, (thank you. :-) ) and I am absolutely floored! I loved this.
The way I think of ghosts is the way most authors choose to portray them- scary, haunted, tormented... you've taken them up in an entirely entertaining and original way. Fantastic! The image of a dishwasher "gnashing it's frothy maw" made me giggle, I adore it!
Wow, I seem to be very enthused and also slightly fangirly; but I really do like this. A charming tale with an awesome twist- bored ghosts? I may take to reading aloud more often. Just in case.
| Pixiepie chapter 1 . 7/24/2008
Very unusual ghost story. I have always thought that my appliances were possessed, at the very least. I like different.
| Inarra Lake chapter 1 . 7/20/2008
Strange and funny and utterly indescribable besides, by the by, I read The RoW aloud to my two freinds and they nearly died laughing. I had forgotten how funny that was. If I ever put more stories up here I would dearly appreciate your comments and criticism. Keep up the good work and never change, unless its for the better.
| Tawny Owl chapter 1 . 7/15/2008
I love what you have done with a simple idea.
There were so many funny moments in this, which I think was down to the way you describe things. The description the dishwasher and how spirits were to electrical appliances what moths were to light.
The outrageous plot of the novel Adelaide was reading was good as well. I’m sure I have actually come across books like that.
I did read this a couple f time to see if I could offer up any useful concrit, but I can’t. Enjoyed it too much.
| me. moi. ich chapter 1 . 6/22/2008
I love this... it's so unconventional for dealing with ghosts, and I really like that.
| deletethisaccountplease9 chapter 1 . 6/22/2008
Haha, WOW. You really have quite a talent for spinning a tale. I really liked this. Aside from the fact that I love the name Adelaide, and funny ghost stories are the best kind in my opinion, I think you did an excelent job keeping the whole thing sounding interesting and professional. Professional is the key word I think, as so far, everything I have read of yours sounds that way. If I could just make a tiny suggestion: when she is reading from the book, try to emphasize that more. I had to reread a few parts to know what was her and what was the book. But other than that it was beautifully perfect.
| Averybarbarian chapter 1 . 6/22/2008
I just want to say first and for most I love the name Adelaide. It’s German meaning pure, noble, kindly… That has been one of my favorite names for years! But I really like how you made your character. It is obvious that you have put a good bit of thought into her. She wants everything to be in its place almost obsessive compulsive. She probably does this because it is the only way she has control over her environment. Which is why some people are obsessed with having their stuff clean or dirty it gives them power over something her power is obtained when all is clean and is how it is “suppose to be”. However, she is being rampaged by ghosts that don’t care about the fact that she likes things clean. She is also fairly logical and wants to fix the problems that she comes to face to ensure her world is perfect. Though I find that the ghosts are a bit confusing and interesting at the same time. They seem to enjoy bugging Adelaide. Over all I think that this is a Great start! Good job! I enjoyed reading this chapter and look forward to reading more of your work. Have you ever read the book Haunted A Memwares Tale or something like that… anyway it’s a really good book about a girl who is haunted by a ghost that is in love with her. Anyway Loved what you have written. Keep writing! )