|Reviews for The Opal Fox|
| muzikall chapter 31 . 2/16/2010
I love this story, and this chapter is lovely, as always.
There's just one thing I'm confused about. Last chapter, Emory found out that he is likely or could possibly die soon, and so he and Aura had a fight because he asked if she cared about him at all and she said that she would kill for him. So I can understand why Aura is mad, but not why Emory is mad. please explain!
| TymCon chapter 30 . 2/16/2010
Coils within coils. I'm really going to re-read this. Lol, the scene where they were talking about who it was would've been so much more dramatic if i remembered who they wereXD I remebered half, but not all
| Tawny Owl chapter 30 . 2/11/2010
I loved the description of the garden, and the wild bareness of it and the wide views made me think about how it seemed apt for Aura to go there, (even if it was prompted by a clandestine meeting), especially after she jumped on her horse. Although in terms of exploring her emotions it might have been an idea to see how the two of them reflected each other. Sorry, I get random bees in my bonnet sometimes, and that’s the last time I’ll mention it.
The sudden appearance of the disembodied head made me smile. And I think cunning and bloodthirsty is much more fun (? To write anyway) than random threats of violence that are never going to be carried through.
The whole discussion about card readers being gamblers and the planets moving around too much was brilliant, and so true. Damn it, wish I’d thought of that. And as always the dialogue between Aura and Emory was full of fun. He is a mischievous devil, although poor old Vincent did seem easily fooled. I thought he’d be used to the prince’s wily ways.
And a Udolpho and Otaranto reference, are we talking Mrs. Radcliffe’s Udolpho? I’d forgotten that things from this world tend to leak into yours: I’m sure you’ve done it before with a Shakespeare reference or something. I think Brand pulls one of those out of his trenchcoat at some stage.
The Moon Bunny reference sounds familiar as well. I think I’m going to have to re read some of the chapters before we get to close to the end.
The shiftiness of all the girls looking at something else made me think of one of your review replies: they didn’t seem that comfortable.
And Aunt Mary’s dismissal of Emory as ‘the boy’ was brilliant. I do like her, but it would have been fun to see Emory’s reaction. Still being the highest ranking person in the room he should have at least had to bite back a snarky comment.
The card readings were interesting, and I guess that the enemy has never been fast friends with Emory rules out Freddy. Maybe. I really must read the earlier chapters again. And when Aura did cry I was shocked. I think because I hadn’t realised how much she cares for Emory, and because it was in front of a lot of people. But of course you need an end in order to have a beginning, or vice versa so hopefully you aren’t going to kill off your romantic lead. (You’re not, right?)
I liked the detail of using the flower too. Too much intrigue! I’m completely caught up on Sophie’s exclamation that it can’t be Lord Daniel now. Damn you and your red herrings. This is like the worse game of Cludeo I’ve ever played. (Mallory in the palace gardens with a mao?) There are so many potential people to choose from though it does feel like there is rather too many so I am looking forward to finding out who it is so that I can go back and look for clues retrospectively to see if it makes sense.
The argument seemed very apt. Although I got the impression that Emory was just trying to vent his fear and was either trying to get some sympathy or just provoke a reaction. I’m sure he didn’t realise how horrible he sounded. And I can believe she hasn’t slapped him yet: a slap seems like you’re giving in because you can’t think of anything clever to say that will hurt more.
Which Emma is it? We had one over here with Johny Lee Miller in that was different (and very bright).
Sorry, you may end up with this twice. It's being weird...
| Snevilly chapter 30 . 2/10/2010
I'm so enthralled. I can't wait to see what happens next.
| C.M.F Wright chapter 30 . 2/10/2010
Have to say, this was probably your most brilliant chapter yet. Loved the drama of the card reading - probably more awesome than any fight scene. One thing that bothered me a little was what the fortune-teller says to a certain member of the group - unless split personalities are involved I'm not quite sure what she means there. Sorry, I'm being vague - don't want to give away stuff to readers who might be scrolling the reviews page ;)
| QueenOfTheFaeries chapter 30 . 2/9/2010
That was a dramatic chapter. You keep opening up mysteries and you don't answer any questions! Poor Emory and Aura. I don't know who I pity more. Do you mean the version of Emma with Michael Gambon and Romola Garai? They put that on the beeb a few months back, and I was floating around on a cloud of happiness the whole time. Just like I am when you publish a chapter (hint). :)
| Tawny Owl chapter 29 . 2/2/2010
I’d like to check out the parody, and the revised fight scene, but it’s probably going to take me a while to get there so be warned. The idea of Kingsley and Emory having to interact without back up strikes a chord as well. Hopefully I’ll look at the weekend.
The best bit in this chapter was the kebab and the goats. That made me laugh – can I borrow it and put it in my profile for a bit? They’ll be a link to your story so everyone will know it’s you.
The bit with Aura in the bath was great. I could really feel the steam everywhere. And I did have a start when the official bods arrived. Because if Beatrice’s reaction it seemed a lot more serious than it actually turned out to be. And Aura is damn cool as well. Both then and with her friends. Perversely I’m kind of wishing she wouldn’t be on occasion: it would be nice to see her on the off foot sometimes and I think it would do more for her character. I know she’s a lady and a sorceress but she is still a young woman so she must have some insecurities. I thought I caught a glimpse of one with her friends, and you mentioned she was cold and horrified but that’s the only emotion we really got from her. Not that I dislike her feistiness and competence – I just think that in order to really appreciate that you have to see it in spite of the fact she feels s*it. I don’t think I’ve ever doubted that she’s going to come out on top and that takes the edge off a bit. Does that make sense? That said the fact that after seeing her friends she goes straight to take Rum out spoke volumes, maybe make more of the walk to the stables or something?
And I like Aunt Mary – the whole scatty female relative with an intriguing past. Loved the healing the cheek bit: that was comforting.
| violinrunner chapter 29 . 1/30/2010
Brilliant. I like the revised version of Archimedes and the law of displacement (Aura remembered a robe).
I also like the "interrogation." Emory's new "knights" are delightful. Question: what does Cyneweard mean. Is that a word you made up, or does it come from Old English, or some other such language?
One bit of unclearness:
*“Did you know you were breaking a law?”
“I did not. The law is 'without their consent' and the prince consented to having his arm fixed.”*
She did not know she was breaking a law? Or she did not break a law. From the context, I believe you meant the last one, but you should clear it up.
The card reading should be interesting. What purpose will it serve, precisely. Aura and Aunt Mary want to use it to find the sorcerer, but isn't card reading generally used to tell the "read" person's future?
Also, what's this with Juliette's brother? Have you brought him up before and I'm forgetting, or is this new information.
Lovely chapter as always!
| TymCon chapter 29 . 1/30/2010
Lol, i did'nt notice the emory arm thing:D
Oh btw i recently got over a flu, so i wont be pointing out any mistakes...not that there will be any...
Well we find out more about the baddy. And also i like how your saying how poweful he is, getting the message across and not making it sound repetitive and hes all powerful.
| Snevilly chapter 28 . 1/26/2010
I love this story. Its so compelling. I had to read the whole thing in one sitting, lol.
I really love the descriptions of all the different ways to cast magic and the world you've created.
Sometimes it feels like certain aspects of the story are just suddenly dropped into our laps though.
Over all, a wonderful job so far. I can't wait to read more.
| redambrosia chapter 28 . 1/19/2010
That was probably one of my favorite chapters! Please write more soon!
| Tawny Owl chapter 28 . 1/19/2010
Wait? What? They’re after Aura? And whore? That’s hardly fair when she hasn’t had the chance to do anything to deserve it…
He he, fish bait. And silly them for not taking Emory’s sword. I thought they had, but you were right and they hadn’t. More fool them: he’s a hero waiting to happen.
I’m not sure I understand why he gave her a chance to fight back. I think it’s the blood, but it seems that getting the wards off was important as well. Was it the rage that did that? It made me remember the exploding windows it was that sort of power surge. Ahh, yes, anger. Sorry about that. I must admit after all that emotional magic (and booty shaking) I was surprised she could walk. Aura does seem to bounce back quite quick though. Even when she is cold and shivery. I think it’s because there always seems something else to fight, even if it’s just the rocks in Emory’s head.
I liked the reference to cackling, and the still being civilised enough to be disgusted with herself, although I’m thinking they deserved it. And an explanation about the lower goddess as well. I really should be more patient.
And Freddy steps in with a punch line as always.
The comment about her friends thinking of her as a monster was potent. At the time it struck me that they’ve never seen her like that before and now things could get odd, and that’ll be something Aura would have to come to terms with. Angela’s hug was spot in though as it does seem like those two are the closest. And it did seem very silly, but sort of in character, that they would completely pass over the violence, moan about the company and then get to kissing. Aura and I clearly had nothing to worry about it.
And Aura spared the Cyneweard half an instant? As much as that? I like the observation about them all looking the same. It’s very true of uniforms.
It did seem a bit fast in places. After the first confrontation there was a lot of movement, and that felt a bit rushed. (What’s with the opera manager? I wanted to squish him like a bug. ‘What am I assuming now?’ was such a great line, and a great moment. They always get interrupted. Can’t you write a scene where they go out for dinner on an island, or at the top of a mountain or something with no annoying secondary characters? It’s driving me nutty. Can you tell?)
And yay, Emory can fight. It did make sense that he could, but when it was written down I didn’t quite believe it. Urm I think it was because it seemed to easy. For some reason I was more convinced when he knee caped the guy then when he took on the others on the stairs. I’m not sure why it’s bugging me. Maybe because the first guy he collides with seems to go too quick, and Aura’s battle magic gets a lot of description and this felt like one of the bits that was rushed: it was his one chance to be all manly after all. I dunno, how does he fight? Is he quick? Does he get angry like Aura, or is he more controlled and by the book as he’s probably been taught in a class room. What does he look like? Ok, getting obsessive.
Finishing on a plus – Those bastards struck her and Aura’s surprise at the helping of tightly coiled anger was brilliant. I could really imagine him reacting like that.
| CuppyFox chapter 28 . 1/18/2010
One and only criticism: Good books always end too soon!
That was amazing. I actually seriously check if you've updated every time I go on the computer. I hope you get the next chapter up soon!
| AlijaS117 chapter 28 . 1/18/2010
that was great update soon!
| violinrunner chapter 28 . 1/18/2010
Yay! Emory got his moment! That was GREAT I like Emory playing hero. I also like Aura's breakdown. This chapter was really convincing.
You added depth to both characters here. The fact that Emory attacked a bunch of thugs to save Aura, and how angry he sounds when he says they hit her show that he really is in love with her. And Aura's weakness was pretty cool. It was convincing, too. Usually, when I have strong female characters, the weakness includes a total breakdown. You did a good job having Aura's breakdown kind of leak around the edges, so to speak, so she's still Aura to the core, but the reader is seeing the side that isn't totally in control and CAN'T handle every curve-ball life throws.