|Reviews for The Opal Fox|
| elma chapter 2 . 7/31/2010
loose your name
I speak Australian English so I'm not 100% sure what applies to your grammar but I think that should be lose* your name.
An entertaining chapter!
The end of each chapter feels incomplete, it makes me want to read the next chapter haha
| elma chapter 1 . 7/31/2010
I liked it! It goes between me losing interest (not being bored, just the story not completely sucking me in) to the story actually completely sucking me in haha.
Its really good how you've managed to paint an entire world with only the first chapter. :)
Sometimes I felt like it was written like something on the internet, but then as I read I'd forget that it WAS from the internet. (a friend reccommended this story to me, she told me you'd like to get it published?)
so i'll try my best to give you constructive criticism :)
I think I'd like a description of them sometime soon.
| Umog chapter 38 . 7/26/2010
At first i want to apologize that it took such a long time for me to submit a review.
Congratulations, you finally made it.
And you did it in a way that leaves you every possibility to move on, you could write sequels, or simply leave it like that.
I really like your style of writing and your stories, please try to get them published.
And of course i hope that you decide to continue this story, i am eagerly awaitng the next surpises!
| Beenz chapter 38 . 7/22/2010
Loved the story!
I like how you didn't reveal everything about Aurie in one go (as many authors here seem to do with their main characters). Finding out she was part of the council came as a nice twist during the chapter it was revealed in : )
I shall definitely keep an eye out for if you decide to write/post the sequels. Thanks for the good read!
| hail the heartbreakers chapter 15 . 7/17/2010
I'm confused. Why didn't she just fix the mask with a spell?
| hail the heartbreakers chapter 2 . 7/17/2010
Just out of curiosity, are you a fan of Diana Wynne Jones? What I've read so far has really reminded me of some of her work, especially Howl's Moving Castle and its sequels.
| Aya Marie Love chapter 33 . 7/12/2010
:D I absolutely love perhaps perhaps perhaps, and it truly fits how their relationship was until now!
| SandStorm3D chapter 38 . 7/9/2010
Wow, what a great story. I was thoroughly enthralled by this adventure. I have never really see magic described in the way you have portrayed it before and it was pleasant to see a new spin. I do hope that there will be sequel coming up with in the next few years as I enjoy your writing style very much. If this gets published I would definitely purchase it for my collection. Thanks for the wonderful read.
| violinrunner chapter 38 . 6/27/2010
Brilliant brilliant brilliant. More brilliant because there's going to be more probably!
I really like the ending; they both saved the day! I also like how you handled James. That was probably a tough one to figure out. And I like that the bad guy has to go on trial instead of "oh, we defeated him in the big battle and now we'll live happily ever after". It makes it more realistic.
Bravo. Congrats on finishing a monster of a story!
| Kjersti chapter 38 . 6/27/2010
Aw, how sweet. :D I'm glad you're continuing this, the ending was rather open. I love this universe, and the characters. Can't wait to read more - although I understand you needing a break. ;)
Keep up the good work! :)
| redambrosia chapter 38 . 6/26/2010
OMG! NO! IT CAN'T BE OVER! lol It was such a well written book and I cannot wait for the next two!
p.s. I'm still Team James
| waterlilies52 chapter 38 . 6/26/2010
d'aw I love this! great job. I can't believe it's been two years... and yes! she finally declared her love. I was getting a little worried there.
| TymCon chapter 38 . 6/26/2010
Oh my god i can't believ it's over(Sniff) I'll miss it. Oh well.
| ThriceCharmed chapter 38 . 6/26/2010
Wow... I've been following your story since it first came out and it is a bit bittersweet to see it end. Anyway, this was a great run... I never expected you to pull out an invocation after so much discussion between the characters as to why it wouldn't work... you got me there...
You did great! I'll be reading your other stories, too... Keep it up!
| Tawny Owl chapter 38 . 6/26/2010
Oh congrats! How do you feel? I'm kind of excited but with sad undertones...
The lt would look more than frazzeled - surely, and It didn't take long to reach the palace, but it felt like ages - seems like a prime example to show the tension rather than feel it. They've all just been through a hell of a lot and they're on their way to tie up the lose plot endings. I think you need to carry over some of the emotion from the end of the last chapter. Aura's also been knoked about alot and expanding will remind us why she isn't in a state to go leaping about like a runaway hero. (I love Emory)
(And I kind of wanted to see more of Emory carrying Aura, but that's purely for my own titular amusement - so ignore that.)
were booted feet and the grating of swords against their sheaths. - love this - it makes the rest of the palace seem eerily empty. Although I have no idea what the doors are about. I'm guessing Emory has strode up, kicked them open and is now inside shouting. I had to read it a few times to get my head around it - I think you need to fill out the geography a bit.
someone who was not Prince Geoffrey began to say. - so, who is he?
(D)duke of Thierry said in measured tones.
Unemotional – maybe describe Geoffrey differently if he’s just called Emory emotional.
A cold shell of a man hiding a terrible machine. – loving this!
Aunt Mary had crafted a spell to put the fear of the goddess into them and they cowered at Emory's approach. – so aunt Mary is close? Where abouts is she?
the Duke of Thierry – he is Lord Geoffrey? We don’t see much of Geoffrey really, so again I think you should stick to one name in the narrative.
Emory spun around and popped up, - I think you need a different word: popped isn’t very manly.
Oh, I’m all for girl power, but I did kind of want to see Emory deal with Geoffrey by himself. It would have been more satisfying I think, for me and Emory as a character. Aura can’t bail him out all the time, and she did take down Lord Daniel, so part of me thinks she’s being greedy. And the news about him poisoning her grandfather could have been done afterwards – she could have grabbed him after Emory had beaten him. See what other people say though.
And I love Emory! The obsession with points is brilliant. I like that you have him capable of being all macho but he still has this boyish enthusiasm for things
I would like a little quiet and a nice cup of tea." – He’s English!
decided while I would tell them most of it, I certainly would not tell them everything. – hehe. I liked this. Typical Aura observation.
Oh, I actually liked the stuff with James more than the stuff with Emory. Emory was sweet and funny, but James was funny, but with more bite. (I loved the whole give up thieving thing).
Nice ending - although i can't help feeling sorry that we don't get to see her father's reation. One for the sequel maybe?
So, congrats again - an I'll make time to read dragon. Or go stalking you on live journal...