A beautiful addition. Simple yet beautiful

"A battered sun rises. The pink coat

of breaking dawn palms the

sky and climbs."

Those lines were pure BRILLIANCE! :D

This last one - wow. I've said this far too often about your work already, but I can really feel this one; it just really... hits home, I guess. But I've said that before.

Anyway, beautifully written.

"A melody of aches sewing it shut." An incredible line! Very profound and deeply emotional.

i really like this. i haven't read the other piece it's in, but i feel it does work very well on its own. the ending is beautiful.

"Scared of dreaming too much." Great line!

I loved this. The imagery was intense, vivid and original... and the format was really good. I loved the phrase 'handful of stars' it was such a unique way of kind of depriving these amazing things of their clestial mystique... if that makes ANY sense. Anyways, keep up the good work.

Hah, fantastic! I always thought i was a failure, turns out i'm just a wrongly juggled masterpiece. Thanks for the reassurance.

Thank you also for the review, yours was probably the most in-depth/detailed one i got.

amazing!

Great way to describe how one feels.

I can relate.

Keep it up :)

konnichi wa

Stunning. May I please use this quote in my quote book? It is absolutely... STUNNING. I am in absolute awe.

Ha det

-Shan-

Simple, but Beautiful! :)

Those were really excellent. I know it can be challenging to finish some writings, but things like this are a great way of seeing what people think of them. Hopefully you'll be able to write an entire piece to them. Keep it Up!

konnichi wa

"i've found a handful of stars / dying away / slowly like her spirit"

I love the phrase "handful of stars." For some odd reason, it seems more poetic to me than just "stars." *shrug* Also, that piece of the poem - that I loved. :)

Ha det

-Shan-

Beautiful imagery! Our hearts really do die away like stars. I love your idea of posting lines or a few lines that have meaning enough on their own. That happens to me all of the time. Sometimes, one line is better than twenty :P. Update soon! :)

This is beautiful. I think it might read better if slowly was on the fourth line instead of the last. I believe there sould also be a comma between slowly and like.

Cheers,

r.