Reviews for Thirteen Warriors
raineyday chapter 1 . 7/2/2008
Really fascinating idea here, and I think you have a fairly good grasp on your writing and such. The only bit of critique I have is just what the reviewer before me said. Maybe cut down on some of the historical details a little bit. Other than that, though, a good start!
Syd Diamond chapter 1 . 7/2/2008
Wow...seems like this is going to be a very, very interesting story! I really like you writing stlye, the plot, and the detail, but I think that the detail may be your downfall.

Detail is good but to an extent. I know that most readers won't know all thirteen of the fighters, and it's good that you gave them a background, but maybe there was just a little bit too much information. Try to keep it simple. Maaybe tell a little bit about them as the story goes on rather than just compiling it all at once.

It would make the story less of a history lesson and more fun to read. Other than that, keep continuing in the direction that you are going. It sounds like it could be very good!