Reviews for Five, Seven, Five
Archia chapter 4 . 3/8
I've read your other few haikus and I loved all of them. They all captured so much imagery and interest in the short words they had. This one is definitely my favourite, it had so much emotion in it and was almost sad. They were all really great.
Decoris Verbum chapter 6 . 1/18/2009
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Again, the lack of punctuation rather annoyed me. I didn't really know when to end a thought or when to start one. I -did- like how you showed the delusion of hope near the end of something; it really displayed an important trait of humanity well. Good stuff.

Decoris Verbum chapter 5 . 1/18/2009
I didn't like the absence of punctuation at the end of the second line; it seemed to slip off into white space. Maybe a colon would work. I liked how you showed God's sorrow to see his creation killing each other, because it really put emotion into the haiku.

Decoris Verbum chapter 4 . 1/18/2009
I like how you don't specify exacly what 'vast sea' you are referring to, because it gives the reader a sense that the haiku's topic is something intrinsic to the writer. I also like the alliteration of 'storm and stillness;' it all comes off crisp and tasteful. Keep it up!

Decoris Verbum chapter 3 . 1/18/2009
Oh, very cool. I like how you vaguely personified nature, because it made the poetry really breathe, if you know what I mean. I also like how this could be taken metaphorically; poems with deeper meaning are always worth more. Onto number four!

Decoris Verbum chapter 2 . 1/18/2009
The rhyming here was awesome; again, it provided a connection throughout the lines. However, I would have liked to see a hyphen between 'ever' and 'soulful,' because it would help the rhythm.

Decoris Verbum chapter 1 . 1/18/2009
Sponsored by the Review Marathon (link in profile).

I liked how you used the linked images of "night" and "stars;" it really made the connection of vivid imagination throughout. I also like how you used the 'stars' to show the lovers' happiness, because it just seems so fitting for love and joy. Great work.

just dani chapter 3 . 7/3/2008
these are soo beautiful!

i especially like "in seasons of gold"

very lovely image, i don't like autumn much,

but maybe that's because i never looked at it that way
TheBeautyOfTheGrave chapter 3 . 7/3/2008
Aw these are sweet, nice work. Lol and your title reminded me of the formation for a haiku, thanks! xD

Best Wishes

Holli x