Reviews for Influenza 56
A. Lleyn chapter 1 . 7/8/2008
Hm. The emotions are not there, then suddenly very flowing then sort of disappear in the story. Which may be what you wanted, don't get me wrong. Erm, I think that your main character should show more kindness towards his patient. Actually just more emotion. I know that doctors cannot afford to be emotional, but a sorry doesn't hurt, even when it's nobody's fault. The family scene was very good, but watch the amount of emotion you put it. As EMO as it is supposed to be, don't make it overly melodramatic. However, I think this time it's okay. You know which work of yours is overly dramatic all too well. Think harder about your scene transitions. I don't know if the jerky effect is supposed to be there, but it feels quite...rushed.

Overall a great piece of work, that though still can be polished, is pretty good.

Oh, and your starting lines rocked.
Dark Hunterer chapter 2 . 7/8/2008
Hi. It's ok i guess. Descriptive as usual :)

Work on your character development though. Characters that the reader can relate to generally evoke more sympathy and enable the reader to better understand the story.