Reviews for Don't Break
Chowdizzle chapter 1 . 7/17/2009
home skillet, you took down your hp story? whyy you spent so much time figuring out how to get out of all those horrible plot problems you kept on getting into!

this is adeebah btw. :) toodles noodles! i am upping ur review count wahahahahahagargolgoogle
Praxidikae chapter 2 . 1/11/2009
Hokay so i reread your thing. I LOVE the first chapter, especially the ending paragraph, specifically the last line. Its so epic!

Just one thing - this line "felt like a thousand crawling feet walked" in the 2nd chapter, something's off about it. I mean, it sounds fine and reads fine, but I guess its just that feet don't crawl. "A thousand feet crawling" mebbe
jessnutsss chapter 1 . 12/11/2008
The summary is really good. Made me want to read it. I'm still confused at this point, but I'm diggin' this so far. Continue it, I would love to read more :)
Praxidikae chapter 1 . 7/20/2008
Hmm... me likes. Considering the million other drafts I read of the first chapter, I would say this is the best. At the same time, I can understand why your other reviewers are confused, because, to be honest, if you don't know the background of the story you're bound to confused. You know what you should've done? Uploaded the first two chapters together - this prologue-y one, and begin the story in the next. So at least one or two of the readers questions would have been answered... or slightly explained.

Anyway, i love how detailed your descriptions are. It's not just describing the environment, it's also describing the emotions of/around it.

KEEP WRITING! i want to see another chapter up ASAP.
Jessica T chapter 1 . 7/19/2008
Hey, good start. Some things arent making sense, but I'm guessing it is supposed to be a "teaser" chapter. i am definitely intrigued if u continue
Akuwa Marene chapter 1 . 7/11/2008
Is this some sort of prologue? I wasn't sure, and there were so many questions, I got confused and couldn't tell what was going on...