Reviews for I, Veiser
Stormynormal119 chapter 1 . 4/13/2013
You sir, are going to be the next Edgar Rice Burroughs if u keep this up
Kkid1134 chapter 20 . 10/24/2012
Great story hope there's more
SHAWN chapter 20 . 3/11/2010
Great story, but a rather abrupt ending...where's the rest? what happens to everyone else?

I'd love to see more of this...

hell, I'd love to see it as a novel, even a film.

good stuff
JaveHarron chapter 20 . 1/23/2010
A bit brief of a chapter, but definitely a welcome update. Still, the court seems to resemble a 20th/21st century Earth one a bit too much. Do they not have some more advanced protocols? No AI or Genie consultants? Still, enjoying this story and the quotes.
TSJames chapter 20 . 1/23/2010
Twas short, and riddled with missing words, but still a fine chapter. I hope you get the next few out soon; I hate waiting too long for these updates.

-Andrew
TSJames chapter 19 . 1/8/2010
Good to see "I, Veiser" getting updated again. It's been awhile. I thoroughly enjoyed the two new chapters (I'm afraid I didn't go back and re-read all the edits), and can't wait for more.

It feels like we're getting to the real meat of the plot, when stuff starts getting even more interesting.

Keep it up, man. You never fail to impress.

-Andrew
Arv chapter 18 . 12/28/2009
Story line is interesting, but writing needs lots of improvement. out-of-context words have obviously been spell-checker corrected, into wrong context words. Some sentences do not make sense.

Story line is a bit difficult to follow due to preponderance of like-sounding but very odd names. Chapter titles help this a bit, but still too jumpy for convenient reading.

Some Science Fiction content, but also a lot of Fantasy stuff, which admittedly is not my favorite genre.

Fix the names, smooth the story line, and you will have a good novel.

All-in-all...a good read, even with the problems.

_._
JaveHarron chapter 18 . 12/27/2009
Glad I've checked out the updated and revised version of this story. The Shadows are cool, and revised aspects work well. Hoping to see more of this awesome story!
JaveHarron chapter 16 . 5/26/2009
A very funny bit of history in this chapter. Sad, though, there hasn't been an update for months.
JaveHarron chapter 12 . 2/25/2009
I thoroughly enjoy this story. The pace gets good, the characters interesting, and the story well edited, save minor grammar.
dreamshell chapter 16 . 2/21/2009
Added this story as a favorite a while back, but only now have I finally read through all the chapters up so far and I'm quite enjoying it. Definitely reminds me of Dune, but not in a ripoff way, more like a great homage. The plot is well-crafted, the characters are detailed, and I hope to read more soon. And all the pop culture (iPod? Coke, Google, The Spy Who Loved Me, etc.) references in the latest chap amused me greatly. "Yuesaens", indeed. Very clever.

Only thing I'd recommend is some serious editing, as there are numerous occasions where words are omitted or wrong words are in place of others ("bile" instead of "vial" being one that immediately comes to mind). However, that's really a testament to the strength of the story, as I very seldom will continue with something that's not grammatically perfect. P

Keep it up! It's so disappointing when good stories go unfinished.
TSJames chapter 16 . 12/10/2008
iPod, "USA", Branson Dynasty, Google, the Voyager, and my favourite, "Great Shatner's Ghost."

This is all that remains of Earth? Tsk, tsk. I guess we'd better make more time capsules.

INTIMATE RAPE SCENE! Though, admittedly, it was wholly consentual...

Ah well, still a good chapter.

Now then, let's not wait so long for the next one.
Denizen47 chapter 2 . 12/9/2008
An interesting start definitely, just a few things i found. You seem to go into so much detail, and though the prose is definitely easy on the eyes it often seems you're overdoing things. Whether or not this is for the progression of the story I can't tell. But maybe implying things instead of winding explanations would be easier.

At the beginning of the prologue you said you'd hope to get this published eventually, well I'm sorry to inform you that's not going to happen now. As part of fictionpress's terms and conditions they hold copyright for intitial distribution, which is the major thing that publishers will get antsy about. As a matter of course they check fictionpress, as well as many of the other major fiction sites, and they can get hold of copies even after it's been deleted. So, sorry :(

On the upside, i'm really interested now, you've painted a very dark picture. I'm tempted to make a Dark Knight analogy between the characters of Veiser and Harvey Dent in their figurehead status.

A very interesting plot though, read on I shall.
TSJames chapter 15 . 10/27/2008
You just enjoy dragging this out as long as possible, don't you?

Well, I suppose I'll have to wait for the next chapter with as much impatience as this one. [sigh]

Keep 'em coming.

Oh, but one thing you have to watch are the spelling/diction/grammar mistakes. I caught a few, though I don't quite remember where.

Ah well, practice makes perfect. So write another chapter - soon, preferably - and you'll surely get better.
TSJames chapter 14 . 10/23/2008
All right! Another update! I only hope the rest of the chapters come as quickly as this one did. More updates!

The vision was well-written, very "visionary." Sorry, bad pun.

I was a little surprised by the epigraph, though. If I'm not mistaken, this is the first one that wasn't a quote of someone else.

Hopefully this trend will continue... Quoting others is fine, but it's always better to stand on your own two feet.
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