|Reviews for msun641|
| The Hippie Nerd chapter 1 . 12/16/2008
The rhyming and flow here are wonderful; I found myself reading it aloud without fully realizing I was doing so. It's an interesting look at nighttime, especially in the parts you question the nature of things and their appearances without light to show them to you.
"Can you feel the brisk wind better, / Or read a bitter love letter?" The repetition of sounds here is very effective, a great couplet to read out loud.
"Can you say the heavens stay true, / When the skies are not blue?" You almost get philosophical in a way. You start looking at the nature of reality and what we can truly know about it. But that's probably just over-analyzing.
The last few lines are a nice build-up of emotion and finish the piece strongly. Well done!
| lymli chapter 1 . 11/11/2008
cool, the rhyme is great, I like this part:
Why must the birds nest,
During sunset and see that star rest?