|Reviews for The Homecoming|
| Morohtar chapter 8 . 9/3/2008
A shot scene! And I guess this will be a short review!
I do like this - it's a necessary scene, but it's one which is still entertaining. The business at the end with the car nearly running her over and the other two peering and peeping is really cool and would be very funny if well-shot on film.
| Morohtar chapter 7 . 9/2/2008
This scene advances the plot well, and also establishes some of the relationships between the various characters. And we see a lot of the family relationships suggested between the kids and their parents.
I think that Julie is a great character, and really works well - she's cool and funny and zany, albeit very young. Well drawn indeed.
| Morohtar chapter 6 . 9/2/2008
I'm back! I promised a review for every chapter - and you WILL get it! But, I've been so busy with work. Sorry.
Anyway, great chapter / scene. Works really well - I just love the zany, craziness of the idea of passing this engenue off as a French exchange student. And the characterization of the various people in here is shown very well indeed - great chapter!
| Morohtar chapter 5 . 8/31/2008
I do love the way that Daeron can catch asprin without looking. That is pretty damn cool - and would make a great scene. I dunno how you'd shoot it, but it would be awesome.
| Morohtar chapter 4 . 8/31/2008
Another good chapter, and one which adds a lot of information to what we have. I like the cleverness of Eric and Ophi, as they steal the guys cup and win at Battleships respectively. That defines their characters well.
I think that the reveal of Julie's age is very well-handled, and the introduction of the flash-forwards would add a good, strong narrative to the scene.
| Morohtar chapter 3 . 8/31/2008
This is a cool little comic scene; I really like the fact that his dad is sarcastic and crude - it makes him quite a plausible character. And we see that he's not concerned with his son having bad morals (sleeping around) but simply with the consequences.
The way his dad knows not only stuff like what the ROTC is doing, but also that there is a big party is just brilliant - his dad seems to be this huge, omniscient force. Very cool.
| Morohtar chapter 2 . 8/31/2008
The script progresses well - you get a lot of characterization into a small space. Ophi is a good character, and she manages to show us a lot about Daeron. Rich is also very well-drawn indeed and we can see that there is tension between the two of them.
The imagery of the water and submersion is good - I think this would work really well on the screen, perhaps if you could cut from the shot of the water to a shot of liquor (pun intended!)
| Morohtar chapter 1 . 8/31/2008
As promised, easy-fix reviews for the first 20,0 words worth of chapters! God bless sea-monkeys!
I like this opener - you have got some cool scenes in here. The montage of images with Daeron is great (very cool to visualize that) and I do like the character of Julie established by the final kiss.
You've also got the whole "movie script" thing down pat - many people wouldn't get that right.
| Anastasia Ambrose chapter 3 . 8/30/2008
I really enjoyed reading "The Homecoming" so far. Its genuinely funny-a feat, if you ask, me. In addition to being funny, its also well written and realistic- two other traits that are oftentimes lacking here.
Particular points of enjoyment:
Chapter 2: RICH, 20, a preppy tool struts in with a couple of other ROTC students to change as well and greets DAERON in a friendly manner.
Well versed, even if in reality that description wouldn't make it onto the screen.
Interrupting him. They’re probably trying to transfer your aspiring alcoholism to social drinking instead of, oh, I don’t know, you getting wasted in your room watching Dark Angel?
Again, humorous. Another POI: your characters all have really good individual voices. They sound different from each other, in my head, are realistic, and have subtle unique qualities. Thus far I've enjoyed pretty much every character introduced, which is impressive and probably due to the apparent good planning on your part.
I look forward to finishing reading this later tonight )
| PandaPanda chapter 1 . 8/17/2008
I like the ending, very cute.
| Written chapter 1 . 7/24/2008
nice. you use the format well and with confidence :)
| Twilight Starr chapter 1 . 7/10/2008
Good beginning. Julie sounds like she has spunk. You really sounded Daeron's character by just describing his room and how Eric found him. Nice work. Keep writing!
Good luck with movie writing and life. Have an excellent day and a wonderful summer.
| Long Island Iced Tea chapter 1 . 7/10/2008
| HMH chapter 1 . 7/7/2008
Screenwriting is a craft as well as an art so make sure to review format.
| UnSuperNonHero chapter 4 . 7/7/2008
I've never read a movie before, so I don't really know anything about technique, but I like the story so far.