lrn2review, people.

I'm going to look through your book when you get it published, you know. I mean, apart from reading, I have a very strong feeling that over half of your content is just insane description. The only time that there has been mundane describing was when Julia was mentally dead. It was such a shock to see things be barely mentioned, as opposed to her going into such detail about some things. So yes, you're padding your story! ...don't kill me. P

I think it's a little sad that Antoine wouldn't have any pictures of his family in his flat. Even if it is a base of operations and nothing more, it really lacks that homey feeling. Maybe it's just me. I guess Antoine would have at least a picture of René in his wallet or something.

Actually, now that you mention it, the coven is much the same way. Is it something that comes with the territory of being an immortal? We humans plaster our walls with pictures of our loved ones and we have significantly shorter lifespans than vampires. Is it because vampires are immortal and tend to love each other as opposed to humans that they don't do this one human thing?

Is it bad that I thought Antoine would've hidden the phone in some obscure location as a final prank to our heroine for the time being? XD Come on, it fits his personality! I guess if she didn't leave there in the circumstances she did, he could've easily set this trap up.

I'm not really too surprised he would have wooden coffins in the flat. Given how it's not a permanent residence, he would have to move them easily, and metal/stone/etc is probably not very easy to move even as an immortal. And hey, they make for an emergency coffee table no problem!

Man, she still has creepy-as-hell dreams, doesn't she? Dreaming of being in the middle of a terrorist attack would be incredibly unsettling. That golden room too. I know most people can't control what they see in their dreams, but what does it mean if you see things like that? I wonder if it's a side-effect of being a vampire. Given how your entire body chemistry is different after the transformation, it wouldn't be too hard to believe that it'd affect your dreams too.

I'm going to suggest something else, since I'm such a roll here. Haven't the vampires heard of spray-on tan stuff? *shot* Seriously though, I'm not sure how much attention she'd draw to herself as she is in her pale pallor. I'd think people would avoid her, but I may be underestimating how white she is here. I know of pale people, but how much further down the spectrum does she reach? I don't think a mortal would consider her vampric since we're so deeply-rooted in our beliefs that there is no such thing that goes bump in the night. Maybe it's something related to fashion, for example? See, rationalization.

I still can't believe it's been only two months or so since she's been a vampire. How many chapters ago has that been...?

I like how she doesn't view her being a vampire as a positive thing across the board. That may very well be what gives her so much strength, since she doesn't allow this power to take over. It sounded better in my head when I thought of it, okay? XD And it's completely hilarious how passe she is over her loss of humanity. "Oh, so I've locked myself into an endless struggle against my hunger and the sun and blah blah? Whoops~"

Matias' choice of words in telling her that the events of that night were no big deal...He didn't intend to offend, since I can see where it's coming form (and who wants to dredge up the painful past for that matter), but...when your darling lover is dragging you off to tell you by HER CHOICE, clamp down on your tongue!

...I need to stop commenting before reading the rest of the page. I wonder if they actually know? But given how severely dead she was, it doesn't take a genius to guess it's incredibly bad...

It feels weird to have her recount the details of that fateful night. Something I've commented on and I'm sure others are thinking as well, is that time is really screwy with this story. Like I said earlier, it's hard to really believe she's been a vampire for only two months. You could stretch that number at any time and I wouldn't catch it, honestly.

"Camille was my maker and she could treat me however she chose. If she wanted, she could have buried me in my coffin to starve for weeks and Matias wouldn’t have had any say in it." There's that, or she could've embedded her in the wall as she did Antoine. Julia isn't the kind of person to take the easy way out of things. There's that, but wouldn't we all lose respect for her if she simply didn't tell them what had happened?

Ahahah! How fitting he would pull the same trick on her. ...well, maybe "trick" isn't the right way to describe it. It still is fitting that he would give her his blood in that way though. Ehehehe.

I loved the ending of this chapter. "Our coffin" has such a pleasant ring to it.

It's good to have her home, finally. Another great chapter, though it doesn't seem like so much happened (despite the fact she left France and all). See, I told you there was something messed up with time in this story!

Nothing new this time, sorry.

update the next chapter soon

"I’d never had a child myself, and nor had I any siblings." I think it'd sound better without the and~

"I searched my memoriess for a moment in time when I had heard that question before," Memoriess memories

"It’s a wonder that Antoine hadn’t place himself on a high horse considering.." Place should be placed~

Random thought and what not, but if you don't get this book published, I'll beat you to death with a pen. x3 Your story is infinetly better than Twilight and I shall have a special place on my bookshelf for it. :3 You know, right where Twilight used to sit. x3

Onto more important things! Antoine needs a girl. Really. It's sad that he's so amazing and alone. v.v Claude? I like him; new love interest to toy about with~ And that inkling of dread? The early knowing of a man that will steal her heart? Or try. Viciously. With lots of fighting and scary Julia. x3 I wonder what would happen if Rene showed up at the coven. Hrm. And, wow, that one guy was seriously messed up. He deserved to die in such a manner, and I can only say that I wish she had been a bit more b.a. on him. x3 Amazing story, plot, characters, and writing! Update soon! (I swear I wont slack on reviewing again! x3)

-Ali

"It seemed to surprised him, too, but just a little bit." Suprised suprise or 'It seemed to have surpsied him'

"My insides not, and my face tightened into a wince." Not knotted. Or maybe that's not the right word, either way, it needs to be past tense and spelt differently. :3

I really want to critque this and fine all the horrible things that you could possibly fix, but I see none. The only thing I might suggest is throwing in a conversation with one of the workers and focusing a tad bit more on the room. It seems as if it's a reason just for her to stay, not something she's interested in and seems a bit odd after her adoration of the other rooms.

Honestly, I doubt anyone would notice that you sped up a bit in the chapter unless you mentioned it; your writing is easy to get drug into. It's hard to focus on little things like that. :3

I can't believe she just left Rene like that. v.v

But, overall, an amazing chapter. :3

the ending was so sad i wanted to cry and i just wanted to say i am a very lazy reviewer but i read every chapter oh and i hope you update soon

This chapter, as always, was beautifully written. Good job.

yei! she is going home! :)

Grammar Nazi Review

"Aside from the wooden furniture, the only, true remnants that hadn’t seemed.." I think the comma after 'the only' should be removed. It hangs up the attention.

"As for me, however, I could become lost in that chair." x3 Amazing.

"So, while I could, I enjoyed my moment of complete and utter serenity while I could." I'd get rid of one of the 'while I could's. :3

Fan Girl Gushings :3

OMG! I love it. Amazing. Absolute genius. Antoine has got to be my favorite character, even though all the others hold a certain attraction.

(I hope that my nazi reviews even out my unhelpful fan girl ones. x3)

I absolutely loved the ending of this chapter. It had just the right mixture of sadness and joy, wonderful!

As I've already told you, this was a great chapter and well worth the wait. As is every chapter but I'm ignoring that right now.

The introduction of yet another enemy doesn't make poor Julia's life any easier, does it? Maria wants to kill her, Claude just plain wants her...I can only wonder how many more enemies she's going to end up with before the end of the book now? She's gonna have to look behind her back at every turn now.

This is getting pretty suspenseful. Even though we haven't heard from Maria in a while, I know she's out there...and now with loverboy too, the only safe place is the coven.

Most problematic. Best of luck to young Miss Cross here, huh?

Well, I haven't reviewed in a good bit but in light of the new name and all the progress of the story thus far I felt like sharing a few words. First and foremost, the new title is nifty. It really fits in with the philosophical psuedo-religious themes that have been worming their way into the story lately. Good call changing the name when Julia is going all deep and poetic at the mural, really sums the meaning up nicely.

So a lot has happened since my last review but the big thing was the bit with Lorraine. I didn't see it coming at all, to be honest. I knew they were fighting and that she was unpredictable but wow, that was a twist. Then again you have a tendency to start chapters off so nice and innocent, business as usual for the beautiful vampires doing beautiful things and so on. Then you have a completely random turn of events. It's a very nice slice of random and really keeps the pacing up nicely.

Now the chapter itself. Again, loving the philosophical themes and how much Julia has developed and this chapter showed both of them quite nicely. It's good to see Julia becoming a true vampire and it was very interesting to see this change happen purely from her perspective. I may have mentioned this before but what sets this apart from most vampire stories is the protoganist's struggle with her true nature time and again. Even after she drank blood, she hated herself and continued to hate herself. Now, finally, she seems to be enjoying it. I guess we'll see where that goes.

I'll wrap this up with a little disappointment, one of the only ones I ever had with this story. A few chapters back when Julia was out cruising France and bumped into that vampire I expected maybe some type of confrontation or something but so far there has been nothing. I realize you're probably saving it for something big or important but the suspense is killing me. I suppose I let my imagination go wild with possibilities when I read it. The main thing I was wondering was if it was a new vampire or Maria rearing her ugly head again. I suppose I'll have to wait though.

Other than that last bit the story has progressed nicely and the writing is beautifully well done. In short, good work.

Another outstanding chapter!..I dont review that much for the simple reason that i speak to you and tell you all that i feel about the book as a whole and the chapter you are writing.

I love the progression you have built in to the story, its good to see Julia giving in to her nature finally, and perhaps that will stop giving Antoinne such an epic headache...hehe! although knowing you perhaps not.

I cant wait to meet this next antagonist and i cant wait to see Lillian again...hopefully on an inverted crusifiction cross slowly sinking in to some quick sand so that she drowns slowly, or better yet, cut open and left to bleed slowly just like she did to Julia! :P

i like the new name and i loved this chapter

Love the new title, darling...okay, so I'm not gonna try to sound like one of the party-goers here.

This is going to be a short review since you can probably guess what all I'm going to say. Around twenty points about things I liked, five to seven random comments, a non-sequitor...I'll save you the trouble.

I really liked the entire party scene. Duval...man, that guy gives me the creeps. Now, who wants to have a contest-Who's more evil? Duval, or Maria?

So much for saving you from random ramblings. *cough*

We haven't seen Julia be so serious in a long while. It always seems to be when she's participating in Antoine's games. She's not a timid teenager anymore. She can really be a devious seductress...Who'd have thought that'd be a part of growing up?

I don't really have much more to say. Great chapter as always, and I hope everyone else you've enamored enjoys it as much as I did!

Now, this is the longest time, when you haven't updated... And the first one. Being busy lately? O.o