Reviews for Finding Eden
sooner or later its over chapter 23 . 10/26/2008
i thought that this was really well written and really graphic (which is good) and i still hate maria passionately.
Zegram chapter 23 . 10/26/2008
Very good chapter, one of the best so far if I say so myself. All the developement Julia's character has been going through never ceases to be interesting and this chapter really brought that developement forward. I can't wait for the next chapter to see how, or if, or heroine overcomes this latest conflict. And if Maria gets whats coming to her...again. Fingers crossed.
Midian Dawn chapter 23 . 10/25/2008
I really wish i had some constructive criticism to give you, but I don't. I just found your story last night and I have been captivated by it so much i've read every chapter you've posted. I cannot wait to read more.
Inventrix chapter 23 . 10/25/2008
I've been following this story since you had only 8 chapters up, and I've decided it's high time I comment. A bit on the whole story first:

I think at first I thought Julia was 'changing' too soon - accepting living in this castle with vampires, never allowed to leave, etc. But then, so did she, and that led so perfectly into this agonizing journey of her slowly tearing herself apart from the inside that I can't object. The pacing is perfect, and I love the imagery. And, despite it being a romance so to speak, I feel as though the love story aspect is buried underneath the slowly increasing angst and torment.

Which brings me to this chapter. I thought it was wonderful, in the way a dark horrifically bloody segment which finally breaks the heroine's spirit should be, which to be honest are pretty rare. I like how it was an utterly unassuming beginning; I actually thought the chapter would be about her trip to and arrival in France, and thought the scene that made you change the rating to M would be an encounter with an unknown vampire.

Speaking of, you handled the scene marvelously. I skimmed it the first time in case it held any of my weak points (intestines and brains, ugh), but it didn't so I went back and actually read it. This isn't really a horror story, despite being about vampires, so I thought you handled showing a traumatizing scene of death and carnage without actually being excessively graphic relievingly well. It was traumatising in emotional instead of physical ways. The small handprints on the wall... :(

And then, Julia breaks, attacks Maria, loses the fight between her vampirism and her morals, and I cried. I think that was for me the most emotional point, where Julia effectively loses the one thing she holds most important in herself, her humanity and morals and beliefs. Darla dying made me sad for Julia, but I was glad for Darla. Still... I can't help but wonder, how far away is she? Will someone get to her in time to prevent her suicide? (They must, you can't be done with the story yet!) How long will she take to recover? She has to recover eventually! Now I'm tearing up again writing this. :(

(This wasn't nearly as informative a comment/review as I'd intended when I started but oh well. I love your story and all the emotional pain you put us readers through.
kirstenb.0319 chapter 23 . 10/25/2008
I love this story...it's one of my definite favorites. No, I do not think that anything in this chapter needs to be changed. It's very well written, but I do say that I think Maria is a full out bitch and she should burn. I'll bet anything she went back to the castle so she could cover her ass while Julia's out there suffering. God I hate her.
bugaboo10 chapter 23 . 10/24/2008
Hi,

I thought this chapter had a great "feel" to it. My heart was racing at the end. You really got a sense of Julia trying to maintain her humanity and how dearly it cost her to lose another chunk of it.

I have to say that I'm looking forward to Maria getting her comeuppance from the elders or something, hopefully soon.

Anyway, thanks for the great story.

Lena
Aliarcy chapter 23 . 10/24/2008
Oh geez. I cried. Again. Jerk. x3

It was...disturbingly amazing. The end and once everything got flowing maybe a little bit more so than the start. Um, there were a couple sentences towards the beginning that were a little choppy but nothing to extreme.

And, holy shniz! Julia is one flipped up person! I keep hoping she'll go back to the coven just so that Camille can beat the crap out of her but I don't see it happening, sadly.

And as for Julia. Yeah. She's not allowed to commit suicide. :o I reject! Lulz. She doesn't really seem the type to do that anyways, though; to caring for others and what not. Can I assume that this is where Antoine's hotel comes in at? :3

Darla...wow. What a great person. I love how she still pities and cares for Julia after she all inhuman acting. And, the end, where she was thinking about how she seemed happier dead than alive was really got to me for some reason. (That's all I'll say on her so I don't start crying again.)

As for the rating: if anybody drops this story soley because there's a little more blood and guts they lack all sorts of intelligence. This story is way to good to drop over that. *Shakes head* Keep writing! I'll definetly be there to write uber long reviews no matter how many silly readers you lose~!

~Aliarcy (Sorry for the long review. ;-;)
Lionesscouer chapter 23 . 10/24/2008
I both hated and loved this chapter. I can't understand why Maria thinks she can pull this all the time on Julia. I was so angry and I wanted Maria to get torn to bits for all the evilness she has... uggh.. please tell me this isn't the end.. Julia deserves to get something going good for her .. and I want more than ever to see Maria get her just desserts.. in detail!

Thank you for your wonderful writing.. you make each chapter an amazing read and I sit impatiently waiting for more!
Nexus chapter 23 . 10/24/2008
well..what a chapter!...ouch!...From a storyline point of view...things couldnt have gone down any differently..although it would have been funny to have seen Lillians face when Julia and Darla walked down to the dungeon to "say hello" (its not going to happen now...but yeah...would have made for quite the "school reunion").

This chapter had a bit more destruction for poor old Julia...who has had another rough time!...but things have got to get worse before they get better...and lets face it, the payback Maria's going to get is going to be nothing short of epic!

Matias, Antoine and Camille will tear her limb from limb...although if it was me, I'd stake her out for the morning sun to finish off!

Its good to see a conclusion to the loose end (Darla's escape)...shame it had to go that badly!

..More hatred for Maria...(i think Camille should have had her head checked before making Maria)..although, if i know Kanshisha...the best is yet to come on this front!

..Over and out from the British side of the pond!
Doomsday Forte chapter 23 . 10/24/2008
I..wow. I feel sorry for almost everyone in this chapter. Except for Maria, and we all know why that is.

Julia is still a rookie to this vampire game, and it's natural she would make such a mistake...though I guess Darla got what she wanted in the end. I'm glad that Julia isn't reveling in her mistake, since that would throw her well into villain territory, and like I said, such a mistake is natural. Vampires aren't meant to feast on innocent blood, and with this, I can certainly see why...

Darla was a minor character but her passing was indeed powerful. No one deserves to suffer like that before she dies. Though her death was happy (for her), Maria needs to pay for this in spades.

Big bloody burning SPADES.
sousie chapter 22 . 10/22/2008
awsome!

the story is getting even better
Zegram chapter 22 . 10/18/2008
I can honestly say I didn't see Julia leaving coming, anything to get out of depression I guess. A change of scenery will probably do the story some good and I can't wait to see Antoine's sisters. Speaking of new characters a whole gaggle of them showed up at the end there, again unexpected. Hopefully those little guys will develope and grow into some interesting characters. Can't wait to see what happens next but take your time by all means.
Nexus Storm chapter 22 . 10/17/2008
Well..another superb chapter in this superb "short story", for both story and character development.

As i pointed out a week or 2 back (in private conversation) however, "Hurting" is not an english term...Or at least not one that we would use in the context that it has been used in. We would use upset, "To see if i was still upset", or, "If i was alright / okay" etc!.

I know it has been used previously in another chapter, and that it is probably on your long list of things to amend, but i thought it necessary to draw your attention to it again!.

All other errors i find (and this is read through number 5) I'll let you know in the normal manner!.

Again...this really is a superb addition to the story!..and well worth the wait!..

Nexus
Secret Lakehouse chapter 1 . 10/16/2008
Wow, I like the beginning so far. You do detail really well, I envy you of that.

Anyways, your writing skills are really good, but then again, you've had at least four more years to practice then I have. Lol. I look forward to reading more, oh and I thought a short story was just that. A short story. You've got twenty-two chapters! That's not short! Lol :) Well, that's all from me for now.
Doomsday Forte chapter 22 . 10/16/2008
She cried and cried and cried a lot in this chapter, didn't she? I'm reminded of someone I went to school with who would start crying with very little provocation...but then again, Julia had just lost her father and it is having a continual effect on her. That and she's not always crying out of sorrow either. P

Wait, why am I telling you this? Nevermind.

Not a lot happened, but as always when not much action happens, characters develop and become all the more awesome and everything I've come to expect of you.

My current bet on the number of chapters total is 52, by the way. :3
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