Last time... she ever saw Matias?

WHAT? Noo...!

Deli .x

I have no intention of offending you, but 'quoi' would be a MUCH better world to use than que for 'what'. 'Que' on it's own translates much closer to 'that', rather than 'what'. 'Ma cherie' is more accurately translated as 'my darling'. 'Cher' is 'dear'.

On a much nicer note. I love the story and I am definitely caught in your web.

I guess you wont be updating this story anymore, will you?

This story is by far the most addictive fic I have ever read. Even now, having just finished your 47th chapter, I just read this for 12 hours straight. And in my exam week!

I truly love your fic, lots of heartbreaking moments, lots of witty remarks. Love your characters. Well- structured plot. Such a joy to read.

Pity that it hasnt been updated since 2009 though. This very well cant be the end right?

Truly spectacular.

If you ever do continue, which I hope with all my heart that you will, your story will be on my alert list.

Cheers.

DUDE! what the hell! You can't just leave it at that! Specially that last line! You're killing me here! and not updating for almost a year? Do you like torturing your readers or something?It's cruel! It would be a while before I get over this! Please. please. please update!

Surprise! Another review by yours truly! Though it has definitely been a while...But enough of my bemoaning my lack of time, and onto what I actually wanted to say. Well, before I delve into the "deep stuff," I wanted to say that it's great that you have a friend to help with the British-English jargon. Unless you actually know someone from the UK or someone strangely obsessed with said culture, it's usually difficult to keep up with it all, which is why it's usually overlooked, I think. However, I always love the added sense of authenticity that it lends to a story. And as for shoving the French through an online translator, I do the same. So long as there's a side-note/footnote of what you actually mean, I don't really see how it matters. It works, that's all I have to say.

But now onto the more recent comments about the story. In general, I did catch typos throughout the story, as well as a few grammatical errors, like at one point where you mixed up "then" and "than." I know some of it may just be slang, like your use of sarcy (which took me forever to figure out what it meant) but just keep an eye out when you go through revising, since I seriously don't remember where all they are. If you really need help, I'm more than willing to go over it again to find what I did, though it'd have to wait a few weeks until school ends.

On another note, I do like the display of the fact that you've actually done your research. Not many people actually take the time to do so, I feel. And it's such a great enrichment to the story.

So all-in-all, though I have caught a few problems, I am still loving the story, and you can be sure that I'll keep on reading!

I've decided that before I go off to bed for the night, I wanted to send off one more review to you. The story's still marvelous, however before I get to my compliments, I have one question/suggestion for you. In Chapter 5, there is a part where you write "I hadn't the slightest clue what it was, but there wasn't a doubt in my mind that it would kill me. The longer I rested, the more unlikely that it was that I would die out in the woods." Shouldn't the last sentence be "likely" instead of "unlikely?" I may be misconstruing it, but it seems like with her questioning her survival, it would make more sense with her forcing herself to continue on if it was likely she would die in the forest the longer she let herself rest and have the stiffness seep into her body.

...But now onto other things. The first thing I wanted to compliment was your ability to stay true to English culture and jargon, such as using "trainers" for "sneakers/tennis shoes" and "chips" for "fries." Many stories out there, especially when written by Americans (which I noticed upon looking at your profile), fail to even try to keep their setting and slang or jargon in sync. Going along with this, I also compliment your writing notes at the end in order to clarify what you mean, such as your use of "chips." To conclude all this, I like your translations at the end of the chapter for the French, as well. Many stories neglect to do so, leaving their readers in the dark, and though I'm not anywhere near an expert, I was able to plug it into a translator and saw that the translations were accurate, as well. It was a big "yay!" moment, for me.

So all in all, I'm still enjoying the story and I'm looking forward to continuing again at a later date. So I hope you take it all into consideration, and though I know you're in the act of revising, I hope you keep this all in mind. It's been a pleasure to read so far, and I can only hope it continues to stay as good, if not better than it has been!

I'm enjoying this story immensely so far, but since I must leave off for a while I wanted to comment before I forget. Though I enjoy it, I did notice a discrepancy in this chapter. Shortly before Julia and Mathias were 'formally introduced,' you could say, she mentions him by name. At that point, she wouldn't know his name, which threw me off. Besides this point, I have enjoyed the story so far, and I am definitely looking forward to continue reading this story!

[Lorraine managed to drag me to England a couple of decades back, and it was as we were hunting in Middlesbrough] - I live in Middlesbrough, Teeside in the North East are you talking about the same one? :)

Great storys, very captivating.

hey :)

this is a good story :)

the writing isn't too good, it could definitely be a lot better grammatically and it doesn't flow all that well (no offense)

i've definitely read better stories written by others myself (again, i'm just being honest)

but it is a really good plot :)

i'm sure that you will get some pretty good feedback with the published version )

overall, it's not too bad of a job. :)

Thank you for the wonderful story! While I'm disappointed about not being able to read the ending, I understand. So when you do get published, I am looking forward to finishing this!

Despite the amount of vampire stories out there (particularly on this site), there are very few that have been quite so well written. Congratulations on making your characters feel real, despite the nature of the story. Antoine was definitely the most interesting to me, just seeing how he was still able to make light of most situations even when there wasn't much going for him.

I definitely felt for Julia throughout everything. It's a shame she didn't have more time to spend alone with Matias (especially since those moments gave the greatest insights into his character), but when she did, it was definitely worth it.

The one thing I don't understand is Maria's motives. I realize that she dislikes Julia for besting her in (most) situations, but her anger is a little extreme. I can't imagine how Camille would have let her get to power hungry. I know I'd be terrified on getting on her bad side.

Anyways, sorry that there really isn't much constructive criticism involved in my review (I am quite possible the worst person to ask for this, unless there is something glaringly obvious), but I know I always enjoy an uplifting review. :)

oh. my. fucking. god.

this is one of the most amazing and beautiful stories i have ever read.

which is high-praise since i practically live on these kind of sites and read most of the stories on there.

but, no. seriously. this could be a really good book, if ever published. i'm surprised there aren't more reviews, because this kind of story has so much detailed descriptions and so much work and effort just put into each paragraph. it almost scares me.

i love julia. i love matias and camille and eudora and antoine. i love lillian and her cronies, and maria and claude and just about every other chracter you created because they're all vampiric and elegant and pretty and ugly and warm and cold and angelic and devilish and so real that it gives me shivers.

there are really strong emotions in this piece of work and you channel them so well that i've jumped out of my chair several times and screamed at the screen. and the gory scenes are simplistic but so detailed at the same time. you don't leave anything out, no matter how disgusting it may be. that's good.

so this is a huge and long review that i hope you're not too bothered by. oh- and i love the name of your story. "finding eden" sounded kinda prissy at first, but the more i read this, the more it makes sense.

ok. i swear that's the last thing.

keep up the hard work, and again, great job on this.

need i say how good it is?

do i really?

no

u know it

i know it..

keep it rockin!

Ello! I've just finished re-reading this chp and I just wanted to tell you that:

1- "Que" doesn't mean "what", "Quoi" means "what".

2- "Que Diable" means "What the Devil", not "What the hell".

and 3- I absolutely love your story! It's not too bland or too much, it's just perfect. ]

I hope it gets published soon. I would totally be the first to buy it. D

nyaa...

wait...what?

that's not really true right?

oh my

please you can not end it there i beg you

that is the most horrible thing

She HAS to see him again

you are an awesome writer !

I am literally on my hands and knees

write more ! its killing me