|Reviews for The Assassin|
| AKlimesh chapter 16 . 7/7/2009
I really liked this chapter. I also like how you added the little cliff-hanger at the end. Very well writen!
| Sarimbe chapter 15 . 12/26/2008
OK, so what happens next? It isn't fair to leave us on a cliffhanger - at Christmas! Where's your holiday spirit?
Haha, I was joking and it was really good, the way you built up pace and tension throughout the chapter and then stopped abruptly at the end, although I'd still love you to really go into detail - especially with regards to Alar's character. Maybe you could think about how her past experiences affect her actions, as well as her current situation? (For instance, the death of Tansy). But yeah, pace and tension good. And your writing flows really nicely too.
Is the next chapter going to continue exactly where you left off, or skip ahead in time again?
Hope you had a happy Xmas. :)
| Sarimbe chapter 14 . 11/9/2008
I'm starting to see how Alar might become an assassin now: being confronted on a daily basis with death could numb her shock towards it.
I really like your style and it's improved a lot in the last few chapters. Post again soon!
| AKlimesh chapter 13 . 11/9/2008
I love the forshadowing at the end. Your story is great
| AKlimesh chapter 12 . 11/9/2008
It's a little ironic. She really wants to be a healer, and she ends up an assassin.
| AKlimesh chapter 1 . 11/9/2008
OO, a little creepy, but a good creepy. I'll keep reading as long as you keep updating
| Sarimbe chapter 12 . 10/20/2008
Like the others, this chapter was written well. However I am becoming concerned that you are going to tell the entire story in diary entries like this one, which means you'll miss out on the chance to do certain things, e.g. build up tension or describe things in detail as your character does not seem the type to do that.
But I'll keep reading whatever happens because you have me hooked. Good luck with the next chapter!
| Ivi chapter 10 . 9/5/2008
You do a really good job setting the tone and maintianing the voice of your main charictor. The jump from the first chapter to the second almost needs a transition though. Even one sentance saying this is who I am this is how I got to be this way...or something to that extent would make the entire flow set better. Is the entire story going to be told through your charictor's diary? You can use the first person in other ways aside from direclty having the charictor talk to the audience, I think it would be usefull to try some, that way we see what she is seeing and so on.
| Sarimbe chapter 10 . 9/5/2008
It's kind of ironic that she wants to be a healer, but ends up an assassin - if the assassin and Alar are the same person at all.
I'd love to see more!
| Sarimbe chapter 7 . 9/5/2008
You described Alar's doubt, anger, fear and guilt gracefully and movingly but without being overly sentimental. Of course it's only my opinion, but I think this is a really good story.
| Sarimbe chapter 4 . 9/5/2008
I hope Alar gets away soon... And although I know she's destined to become an assassin I can't help but hope she manages to improve things for her people! This is definitely not what I expected and I'm enjoying it immensely. "Ort" should be "ought", by the way.
| Sarimbe chapter 1 . 9/5/2008
What struck me first was your protagonist - she has the opportunity to be a very strong character, with her pragmatic approach to death and killing and the way she's immediately on the defensive.
I'll definitely keep reading!
| teppygirl chapter 6 . 7/22/2008
Please update! This is the same person that was in chpter 1 right, just a few years earlier? Just checking, I know I'm being extremely dense.
| Eilinora chapter 1 . 7/13/2008
It's 'assassin', you moron. You spelled it correctly in the story, now spell it correctly in the title.