Outstanding story. I have always loved these references in the bible. I am very impressed with your version. This is the best story I have read on this web site. I will finish this one and look for another that you have wrote. You have a great talent. I hope you make it as a writer. I would definitely buy your books.

Is this story already written? I ask because you're posting nearly every day.

And yup, that was a quality ending.

Very nice,

This was a good first chapter from a plot standpoint. We're clearly not going to be in Kansas for very long, but I don't feel overwhelmed by weirdness at the start. A lot of stories on this site make the mistake of forcing the reader into the middle of everything, not so with this piece.

I do have a small issue though. The chapter was almost completely dialogue. That isn't a bad thing, but I felt that a few other things could have been added in the downtimes to give everyone involved (Kiethran, Craig, Shallon, and Mykaa). No one's shy about their feelings, but they should be a little. Share those feelings with the reader with shorter speaking lines and a few occasions where a character is keeping it to himself, where he is free to articulate his or her thought more clearly.

Waiting for next chapter,

8. Black