|Reviews for CanisLupus|
| Freddy Teddy chapter 3 . 7/16/2008
I loved it! It was sad in the way she didn't want to be left behind while her family could e getting slaughtered, but I really want to know what her secret is! It's seems really important...
| omgitskandice chapter 3 . 7/16/2008
"who still hadn’t completely mastered keeping their anger from controlling them." wordiness
i like this chapter because it delved deeper into their background. i'm all about the chracter development. and I think the scenes were cute. it was deep with not too much banter, but enough to make it cheeky.
omg, it feels like every chapter just gets longer. I really envy your vebosity.
i saw your mention. nice words? you can't possibly mean me.
| omgitskandice chapter 2 . 7/15/2008
damn, it feels like a have to commit my whole day to read one chapter. Kidding! I like the length because I don't feel so cheated (I on the other hand, have one chapter that is only 79 words, heh heh) I also like the fact that you really convey how much she is bothered by being left behind.
"semi think tree branch" do you mean thick?
hmm, your use of "in-between" irks me. I think it's more of a colloquial term used in speech.
I'm a bit confused by who's related to who. It's hard to keep track of.
"He was definitely something and I often wondered if he was Nathaniel’s son or Gabriel’s because of their similar black hair and attitude towards anyone who wasn’t their alpha" Feels like a run-on sentence.
"older young man" awkward phrasing
other than that, I enjoyed this chapter.
| PegasusWings chapter 2 . 7/15/2008
back again, awesome chapter. I love how long each chapter is. Most authors have very short chapters, i'm really glad you don't. Also, i really like that wild edge, your story has. Of course werewovles are wild but you really play it up. and make them really wild. other authors, just don't do that. so, thanks for making this story worth reading! and awesome chapter. ;)
| omgitskandice chapter 1 . 7/15/2008
"It was almost a rehearsed reaction, but in a way it was." I'm sure this was a mistype. but you have some awkward phrasing like you know what you want to say, but don't have the words to execute it. you also tend to be kind of wordy.
"They were to stop fights from breaking out. Because of that they are known as pranksters." I don't follow your logic here. Other than that everything seems to be well thought out. Details are structured and appropriate.
"Michael nodded to her dad " You changed POV. you do it two other times, too.
I do like Josh. though the black trench coat is a bit much, he seems like a pretty cool character. i hope there's more of him in the future! and i really like the premise of the story. oh, yeah, i love to critique so please ask me if you're questioning something!
| PegasusWings chapter 1 . 7/14/2008
excellent first chapter, really well writed. can't wait for the next chapter. ;)
| Lupin chapter 1 . 7/14/2008
Not bad at all. I could totally see the story in my mind as I read it. It was like watching a movie. I can't wait for the next chapter. I'm just hoping that you're not going to kill off the parents... or Greg. I liked him.
Update soon please.