Reviews for CanisLupus
Shalimar148 chapter 11 . 12/21/2009
Hey,

I really like your story. A few things that might improve it are a character list at the beginning with the relationships and rough ages or age type groupings. It can be hard to remember who is related to who and how. Also, you seem to use some words incorrectly. The basic meanings are correct, but the nuances are off. Are you using a thesaurus to come up with more interesting and descriptive words? That really helps keep a story from getting repetitive, but I'd suggest you have someone edit it to make sure its the right word for the situation. Finally, there are some minor spelling errors that can really disrupt the flow of the story and jar the reader. I think with a good editor to go over it, it will be an amazing story.

Best,
Katie-Maude chapter 27 . 12/1/2009
This was very good and had me returning to my computer again and again to finish it off between work and the rest of my life. It left a lot of questions, but hearing that there is an intended sequel is good news. There were a few minor typos and awkward wordings that I noticed, but I am sure you'll catch them in the editing process. Good luck!
KMx0x chapter 28 . 11/29/2009
Ah-maz-ing.

(:

I loved it!

Even though I'm like a bajillion years late on reading this. Hahaha.

-Kiara
Blondysmiles chapter 28 . 11/28/2009
That is an amazing story! It's very original compared to most werewolf invovled stories. Thank you so much for writing and sharing your creativity. :) I'm excited to read the next story.
AndItMovesUsAll chapter 27 . 11/5/2009
LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH! Seriously, im a huge fan of werewolf stories and this is now my offcial favourite one, it was already in my top three, but this is my second time reading, because ive had your characters floating around in my mind for a while now, and its just BRILLIANT! The plot is so gripping, so much that im now dying to know what happens soon in the next one and i really love that last bit in the ending, the way its a little later on and is a littele glimpse into what hapens next and its such a clever way to end a book, it leaves me wanting to see her face him again, but rounds it off nicely, without making me die of frustration because of a cliff hanger lol.

As ive probaby said before, all the characters are very strong and im still in love with michael and your idea of a werewolf. But i just had to re-read this, because i got that thing that you get with good books, where you find yourself imagining your own little stories involving the characters...and yourself lol :D
eskimoxisses chapter 28 . 11/4/2009
Thanks for posting this story.

I kept wondering when the romance would sprout, and where, oh where! There was far too much physical contact that I had to backwardly decipher.

Ah, and your plot was a good one too. I'm planning to read CanisLupus 2? I think I saw that you posted it. Of course this story is unfinished since you planned to write up another.

Michael sounds delicious, but Gabriel seems better. For me. Aha XD

Thanks again for your great work!
xoxokristen chapter 13 . 10/19/2009
So, I am rereading your story and I love it :) but one thing really bothers me is the whole geographical location. I thought that they lived in England because they drove to London and it is not like you can drive to England from the continent they is a body of water between them (the English Channel). Now, you say that they can drive to Germany, so now they live on the continent? I am confused. You flip flop throughout the story and the sequel. A simple "fly" to Germany or England would fix the problem. I don't know if you are planning on editing or if you have a someone who is willing to go through the story, but it should be fixed.
Devilish Kisses chapter 4 . 10/11/2009
Oh my god! I would kill Gabriel for doing that if I was Elaine!
Dagonmaster chapter 1 . 9/14/2009
Hello there, I'm a new reviewer.

Well I can happily say, that I'm officially hooked onto your story. In terms of writing, its really good for it flows effectively and smoothly.

Also I like Elanie's personality. She's someone who wishes to prove herself in the eyes of everyone but is not given the chance.

The length of this chapter was a definite plus for you really set the tone for what was to come.

Overall, good story and I can't wait to read on.
renegade01 chapter 28 . 9/13/2009
wow...that was awesome. i don't have much time to review (so i may come back later) but i absolutely loved this and can't wait to read the sequel. the plot kept me addictively entertained. ;)
Meg chapter 6 . 9/8/2009
“Sir, we over heard a plan from the Nicolais Pack that we thought the alpha should know.”

O_o

what? did I miss something? and isn't Nathan Paval's dad? why would he care about Elaine? and why is she so special?
Meg chapter 3 . 9/8/2009
I read a lot...and I mean a lot. I've been on this site for many years...sorta sad lol but its the truth. So this is my shot at constructive criticism after years of picking through the crap to find the shiny nuggets.

Your writing is good, you have a good plot...sort of too much Blood and Chocolate but good so I'm not holding up to much on it.

But you are confusing with your characters and I'm on chapter three and I still don't understand who everyone is. I've gone back to chapter 1 now three times. Give people last names, clearly state who Elaine is, who Gabriel is and who everyone else is. Who is connected? Who is married to who?

You sort of eluded to a relationship with Michael, whom for a minute there I thought was someone's father and I was thinking "eww gross" But then I sort of figured it out...okay no I haven't figured it out, I'm just reading on for the heck of it, hoping this gets better b/c I like the plot. (I don't mean to be mean...but I noticed that you want this to be published and I can tell you from experience, publishers are mean mean werewolves!)

So with that said, make your chapters longer, obviously this story is already completed, evident by the "Completed" tab lol but keep that in mind for future stories. Short posts are just missed opportunities to develop your character.

So far Elaine (judging from chapter 3) is rebellious, very emotional, and immature...blood and chocolaty again I feel.

Its fun to be a fan but you need to draw the line, make this character your own, make them jump off the page...screen lol

You have potential but I don't see this wowing me yet...then again I'm on chapter 3. I will read the rest and I will review!

Don't take my comments as a flame, just some points to think about. I find that to many readers just write down "o you did awesome, tell me what happens next" and no enough "that sentence was such utter rubbish! what were you thinking!"

Which then leads to the writers forming bad habits and people trying to publish and failing at it completely.

You shouldn't fail if you work at your craft.

Well I've written enough, I'm off to Chapter 4.

-Meg
BlackTreaderWolf chapter 27 . 8/5/2009
That was a good werewolf fic, good job ;)
XxCaptainKoalaxX chapter 28 . 8/4/2009
AWESOME STORY;)
BlackTreaderWolf chapter 19 . 8/4/2009
Good
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