|Reviews for Scripture From Young Corruption|
| The-Golden-Hour chapter 1 . 4/11/2009
hm that was a long poem _
| NothingMoreNothingLess chapter 1 . 11/10/2008
Wow. I seriously could not stop reading till I got to the end. I really like how you tied it all up by repeating "an empty pew/the first row/as close to the marbled altar/as I could get"
"I doubt saints accept regret as/penance for crimes left
unpunished- untouched in/splendor of some magnificent deceit."
I had to stop and re-read that part twice. Amazing.
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 10/19/2008
Wow, that is incredible. Just really mature and thoughtful and deep. I don't even know what else to say. It's beautiful. Keep writing! :)
| totally oblivious chapter 1 . 10/10/2008
Wow that was deeply thought, or at least it made me think a lot.
| Ernest Bloom chapter 1 . 10/3/2008
The way that suggested that this might work better in a more prosey format is right; it is just a little off, as though you are so busy getting the story and emotion out that you lapse just a little in the act of creating literature; and yet I don't think you should do it any differently but only live and learn and move on to the next writing project, for this is mighty impressive as it stands.
| Lady Fingers chapter 1 . 9/27/2008
you are in fact my Dios
| eine.hexe chapter 1 . 9/23/2008
This, I must admit, is actually mind-blowing. I have only one observation to make, the poem is... I don't know... maybe it would have sounded a lot better if you made it prose. I mean, it's nice and all as a poem, but it lacks something. I know this contemporary style of writing might encourage this as a poem, but while I was reading it... I felt like I was reading prose instead.
Anyway, about the actual content, it's really, really, and I mean really good.
I especially loved that part of the "undoing". Watching yourself walking backwards and closing the doors, uncrossing, unkneeling, unbowing... This is really amazing, the fact that you've thought of this... it... I'm speechless.
The way you can go back to a pure state of mind and body by repenting, imagining yourself "starting anew". This is just beautiful... Thank you for sharing :)
| Inanna Skili chapter 1 . 9/22/2008
Wow. Absolutely amazing.
| timbollyman chapter 1 . 7/22/2008
Wow...that was absolutely amazing, beautifully done, not to mention very depressing. Note that if forgiveness can be found by murderers in prison, it can definitely be found by you at church.
| P.M.Hall chapter 1 . 7/14/2008
Very sad. What exactly have you done to feel so bad about yourself? I liked the reference to "The Wizard of Oz," and how you feel like Dorthy only you can't get back home. I also like the part where you say that you feel like you are kneeling in a prison and cannot stand up. I feel that way too sometimes, constantly asking forgiveness for the same sins. Yet the end had a little joy and faith at the end, so I hope you find your peace.
| Autumn's Last Curse chapter 1 . 7/14/2008