|Reviews for Talented at Denial|
| White Rose Blossom chapter 1 . 10/25/2008
| Lily Llynn chapter 1 . 10/25/2008
Oh it's not crappy, It' very well planned, and a fantastic oneshot. I'm seriously jealous. Of your skills, and of xoxluurve of finding this! And adding it to our c2. But props to you both, but you especially of course, because this was so fantastic. (:
| OoohLookACat chapter 1 . 10/25/2008
that is so cute!
i love it.
it seems a little interrupted in some places
but it seems to work
so all is well
i like the ending
and if people don't get that - well...
no comment haha
| october lies chapter 1 . 10/22/2008
first off, i don't like the very first line/paragraph. it's one huge sentence, a huge run on. shorten it maybe?
second, this seems so impersonal. i'm not really feeling what she's feeling, for some reason. maybe it's the lack of personal thoughts and feelings and physical sense that throws me off, but i could be some kind of odd. all of this just seems mechanical, as if just...thrown out there to be a story.
otherwise, though, you're a really good writer!
| Kat The Great chapter 1 . 10/19/2008
so you got me on the brink of tears there. that was not very nice but i did love the story anyways i'm so glad that he came back. what was his talent?
peace love happiness
| big.break.and.laryngitis chapter 1 . 9/28/2008
aww... i love it. it's so, so sweet. it's absolutely adorable. i'm just a total sucker for these kinds of things. it's great.
| thebloodfiend chapter 1 . 9/27/2008
this is nice and cute like you said.
I wrote something similar but I never posted it online.
Thanks to you maybe I will
keep up the good work
| dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 9/26/2008
Wow, this is quite good for an old work.
I like how although it follows some cliche's, it's generally pretty realistic and actually shows the development of their relationship.
I also like how they were never named, becaseu it leaves this open for personal interpretation.
[The whispers never ceased to stop] You contradicted yourself there.
Also, I thought the full lines through the sections was distracting. Maybe just "x"s or some other small divider?
Anyway, very nice work!
| Selarose chapter 1 . 9/23/2008
Haha, aww. I liked it. I think it was obvious that the guy was back, yeah-at least to me it was. :)
The first part had me laughing, 'cause she seemed so harsh and yet she contradicted herself. Actually, some parts sounded like she was doing just that-contradicting herself, arguing with herself or something.
I'm a little unsure about the really short scenes, though. I'm somewhere between liking them and not. \ All the breaks are kind of distracting. But it has me thinking the parts are more like diary entries or something. O.o
"..but I knew that he knew that I had been the one delivering his first praise..." - That line was rather tedious and confusing. Perhaps you could change it up.
"He lost, of course, but it wasn’t as if anyone expected anything less." - I think you mean 'it wasn't like anyone expected anything MORE'.
Anyway, I really liked it. It was sweet and cute.
Selarose, down at the Roadhouse
| Curry Powder chapter 1 . 9/23/2008
This story was really good. I see why it got so many reviews, and I feel kind of redundant giving you another one.
The characters were very well-thought out, and I liked how the male romantic lead didn't have a name... and neither did the narrator, for that matter. Wow, you never really notice these things until you have to write a review about it.
But the anonymity of the characters worked to make the story more universal, and made me think it could be about just anyone. Kudos to you, ma'am.
| CadaxAres chapter 1 . 9/19/2008
I really like the way you wrote this. It's very interesting how no one (except Peter) has names, and it really kind of gives it a more universal kind of connection. Without names, this story really could be anybody, and it drew me in.
The relationship is portrayed really well, and I loved the dynamics between the two. Also, I thought the last line was really good. I suppose this makes me a hopeless romantic, but I very nearly cried when he left.
Anyhow, I loved it.
| A.S. Leer chapter 1 . 8/21/2008
You need to state one thing you liked and *why*, and one thing you didn't like/could be improved, and *why*. Giving more feedback is not prohibited, but giving less than this is. Flaming is also prohibited. Being constructive is not.
If you absolutely can only find good or less good things to say, then please state two things you liked and *why*, or two things you didn't like and *why*. The review will be seen as invalid otherwise.
Aw... It's so cute! Okay, review for realz now...I just have a bad habit of doing forenotes...
I Liked: The short scenes. I think short scenes usually frustrate me, but the way you set it up made things move faster, and besides, your narrator just doesn't seem like the type of person to sit there and detail every thing freaking thing. I liked it because it matched the narrator, basically, and because it made things move quickly- it looked so long but then I was shocked when I hit the end. .
I Did Not Like: There wasn't a lot of dialogue. I mean there was some, but I'm really curious about like... I think it would be better if we got to see a conversation of sorts between the narrator and Peter. Especially because when you did have dialogue it was really well done.
2 to go!
| rayney chapter 1 . 8/18/2008
I really enjoyed this story. It had a lot of emotions in it, and it actually does kind of resemble real life. The only problem I really had with the story was that it was a little vague. I don't know if that is your writing style or what, but adding a bit more detail would probably be a good idea. This really is a wonderful story. Keep on writing!
| HelloLovely chapter 1 . 8/18/2008
I liked it! I got that the boy was back at the end. :]
| la bonne annee chapter 1 . 8/14/2008
I like this overall. I like how its written in short scenes, and I really like how you didn't explain exactly what was going on in the first paragraph, instead you let the audience decide for themselves. My only complaint is that you made 'him' to be someone that's hot and rugged and 'her' someone whose kinda plain and average. I find it a bit cliched to have the narrator always describe themelves as plain. And it would have been cool if he was the average one, but she began to see how handsome he was after getting to know him so well.
-Also, a bit unbelieveable that she would never find out where he lives, even if she had never been there, I think it would have come in some way.-
Anyway, I still enjoyed it, and parts were really quite cute. And no, the ending is not ambigous at all.