|Reviews for Cracks|
| Jecai chapter 1 . 8/14/2008
I loved this. Maybe because I can see myself in it (of course with different specifics). But even if I couldn’t, it’s well done. Sharp and doesn’t languish.
I liked that it was mostly unrhymed with just the three (one slant) Stuck in my head without subverting the tone.
At first I assumed “folds and curves and cracks and stains” were lumped together, but the second two seem to clash with what they exclaim, so I’m not sure. If “folds...” is meant to be two contrasting sets, then there seem to be three things going on, with the nonexistent one sort of detached from the others.
And I think “Too many times.” really adds to it. Helped me get a better idea of what I think you’re saying. If it weren’t too many times, you’d just be you.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 7/19/2008
I really like your description of yourself in the first stanza, it's really interesting and beautiful. I also like the second part of the second stanza, because I like the fact that you can't explain why you are like that, that's very relateable. "Too many times" though just seemed awkward to me, maybe because it's not really a sentence? Or maybe because I just assumed this is how you were all the time, and if not I feel like I want to know what you are other times. Anyhow it's still a really beautiful piece.
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