|Reviews for Extraordinary|
| Szyren chapter 1 . 7/24/2008
This poem makes me happy... and sad, at the same time.
I like the play with extraordinary. I always thought that was a strange word~ I like use of the wizard and the magic throughout the poem, especially the cracked wand bit in the last stanza.
I think in the beginning, the first few times I read it, I felt like he already loved "you", so the end didn't seem to make any sense to me, but I re-read it a few times, and I guess he's trying to make "you" extraordinary to proove that he can? Which is mean. I guess it just wasn't clear to me until I looked at it again.
It is a touching poem, for all us extra ordinary girls out there.
| Very Serious chapter 1 . 7/23/2008
Pretty cool poem. I'm not much of a fan of poems in general, but this was nice. You structured it well, so that each stanza contained its own idea but at the same time the whole piece flowed.
A problem in the last line: "loveordinary." You should split that into "love ordindary." Also, I figured that the wizard thing was a metaphor, but even so it still vaguely reminded me of Harry Potter. More my fault than yours, I suppose.
Well, keep at it! Perhaps I shall read more of your stuff in the near future!
| thegreatfool chapter 1 . 7/22/2008
It's a nice concept, and I like how you are using the idea of "magic" to reference love, but to be perfectly honest I think that the ending needs to be changed. That last line made the point a little bit too obvious, and I think that it would not detract from the overall worth of the piece, to layer your meaning a little bit, to hide the theme like you do in the earlier part of your poem so that the reader does not feel as if you are beating them over the head with your message. You could easily convey the same message with different wording and I think that it would help the piece greatly.
| lymli chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
I dont know why you don't write stories, this seems the intro to a fantasy story by the way, I like the descriptions about him and her.
| Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 7/20/2008
¿ Where are all the witches wonder wizards,
With powers to charm, seize and hold red heart ?
(For powers extraordinarily
Applied in necromancy to beguile
Necessarily from soft kisses flow.)
A way, over rainbows ordinary,—
There, Soul, Love’s daily tasks sings happily.
| Lise Meitner chapter 1 . 7/20/2008
This is great! The imagery is quite vivid. I loved the line "a heart entranced by his essence" - it flows so nicely. I would give you some constructive criticism, but I have no complaints with this. :)
| queenvixta chapter 1 . 7/20/2008
I really like this piece. Very well written and nicely expressed.
My favourite part has to be the end, I think most people can relate to that feeling of just wanting to be loved for who they are.
Well done with this, great work!
| someday-i-will chapter 1 . 7/20/2008
I love the imagery of magic you use in this piece. I think you could even extend on it and go deeper into the story, though it's great as it is.
| Militant Poet chapter 1 . 7/20/2008
I like the poem a lot, it's a very interesting and mature way to approach the subject. I felt a lot of emotion, your poetry enhances the emotion instead of getting in its way, which is very extraordinary. Leave the italics out of the last ordinary, since the italics seem to be direct quotes (or quoted thoughts in the second italic's case) and, thus, italicizing ordinary in the last line would be breaking the rules you established for yourself in form without what I believe to be a sufficient reason. Great poem, love the ideas and emotions.
| Sarah Allie chapter 1 . 7/19/2008
Hey! It's been such a long time since I last reviewed, but workshops and summer activities keep on getting in the way.
I loved this poem, especially the last 2 lines. 'Cause, you know, the two things that stuck out the most were "extraordinary/ordinary" and him being a wizard. As always, great poem. I have a feeling you'll be the next Edgar Allen Poe, haha!
I can't think of any concrit, seeing as this is AWESOME.
Sarah :) x
| Eminie chapter 1 . 7/19/2008
This poem somewhat seems like a meek dialog involving expressions on both end of characters. I liked how you described his reactions and your way of thinking, They worked out well. But the layout of this poem would have been better to me if you arrange the last stanza more carefully. etc by making it shorter to flow better with your previous stanzas.
PS. Thanks for your review on "Forever stay". Although this poem was not originated from me, I love it especially because it was given to me by my loved one. yes, the ending maybe quite cliche. you know whats funny? this sounds so familiar with the remarks you left for her other poems. I guess this is her writing style. but her recent poems showed more improvement.
| dragonqueenc chapter 1 . 7/19/2008
I loved it! It was so sweet and sad! I love things like this! It was really good!
| Moon-Chaser chapter 1 . 7/19/2008
I love this, the way that you have written this is amazing, the use of magic in it is also very good, I love the decriptions that ou have used, the wand and all. I get the feeling you could do a whole back story for it because of the way you worded this.
No italic at the end was a good call as well, the italics you have are just enough.
As always you write wonderfully.
Keep it up.
| Captain Lucky chapter 1 . 7/19/2008
This was good. I wonder if there was a story behind it? I also really like your word-play in the last line. The whole 'ordinary' thing really ties the whole poem together.
Sorry I was so slow responding. I left town right after I got your review. I will be working on that poem more though and I really appreciate your comments.
| fatbird33 chapter 1 . 7/19/2008
i think it's good that you didn't italicize the last ordinary, it might have been a little cheesy...maybe...
but i do like this idea, i liked how you incorporated a story with magic, rather than just have it be a normal love poem.
overall, very creative