Reviews for Me? I'm with Cupid
Fleur-de-lis Evans chapter 1 . 6/9/2011
The voice of your main character is strong demonstrating your ability to get the reader inside the story without trying too hard.

The premise of this story is intriguing, especially the idea of Cupid falling in love, or trying to get the main character's attention.

A few suggestions (changes are in ALL CAPITOLS for easy visibility):

1) The walls were painted an artistic shade of red and on them hung paintings with gold gilt odd sketch of baby cupids with wings could be found hanging on the walls and as cheesy as it was, you could hardy blame my aunt and Mike.

- You have written a run-on sentence with slight structural mistakes. I would suggest breaking the idea down into two sentences combined with 'but,' as follows:

"The walls were painted an artistic shade of red with gold-gilt sketches of winged baby cupids on them (as cheesy as that sounds), but you could hardly blame my Aunt and Mike."

2) It was as I thought this that once again, I felt someone's eyes on my back.

- This sentence seems a bit cluttered for words. As a reader I had to stop and re-read the sentence twice.

My suggestion:

"This thought circled in my head, and as I pondered it, I felt someone's eyes on my back, again.

Awesome job on chapter 1: ~ Fleur-de-lis Evans
Crimsondrop7 chapter 20 . 6/8/2011
All I can say is three little words that can perfectly describe my thoughts on this story: Oh. My. God. Your story is absolutely amazing! I can't emphasize enough how good it is!

Your characters are so deep, like never-ending wells. But even more, I laud you on your our story plot. You've surprised me again and again with each new chapter. I couldn't stop reading until I came to your most recent chapter. I felt so many emotions as I read through; it was as if I was really Sydney! You described the characters' emotions very well.

I crave to know more, so I really do hope continue writing (and soon if I'm not asking too much!) Have you ever thought about turning it into a book and sending it to a publishing company?

And one last thing, as a fellow writer, as much as I want to continue ranting and raving about how great your story is, I'd like to point out a few suggestions that may help improve your writing (there's always room for improvement).

Watch out for syntax, there are some sentences in your writing that can be worded better. Read them aloud and try to see if you can take out any unnecessary words. Some of your sentences also seem a bit too long. They either need to be split into two sentences, or given a comma where the pause is natural.

Finally, in terms actual content, while your detail to the characters' emotions is attentive, I would like to know more of what's going on in the background. Even if it's only a sentence, it helps give a more rounded view to your story.

Well, that's all I've got to say for now except that I can't wait to read more! I hope you continue writing and I look forward to your next chapter!

~Crimsondrop7
SpotWillRuleTheWorld chapter 20 . 3/3/2011
Sadness! I was really excited that you updated, but now I can't remember what happened before! Oh well. It was nice to read anyway. It'll all come back to me eventually!

Thanks for updating!
DorkExpress chapter 20 . 2/28/2011
Oh, my!

It's a twist indeed! I thought you were going to leave it and not updating it anymore... but I'm glad I was wrong!

XOXO

DE
Shadow of a lonely man chapter 20 . 2/26/2011
You don't have any idea how excited I was when I saw an update! :D

Leaving that aside, I really like your story. There are quite a few Cupid stories but yours is the best one I've come across so far. I appreciate your originality. I loved the chapter. Keep writing. Good work!
SeraLee chapter 20 . 2/26/2011
I love you! If only there was a real-life Cole. Hahaha. Anyway, hope you update really fast, cause I get impatient sometimes. :D You're a wonderful writer, and this a gorgeous story (Did that make sense?). Oh, since I'm already reviewing, d'you know how you get a beta? Or how a beta works? Kay, Loves,

SeraL.
quotata chapter 20 . 2/26/2011
OMG an update! I nearly fell off my chair!

I got really confused about the locket/injection. It makes sense at face value, the emphasis on the heart being a muscle was really confusing.

Love the twist about being sent back in time though. One part solved and one to be solved. )
little evil eve chapter 19 . 2/15/2011
that was awsome i cant wait for the next chapter please update soon!
urthemusicinme chapter 19 . 1/19/2011
brilliant ideas here!

KEEP IT UP!:D
DorkExpress chapter 19 . 10/18/2010
I LOVE YOUR STORY!
greensmiles chapter 19 . 5/2/2010
OMG, PLEASE UPDATE! NOW NOW NOW! I read ur story at like 11:30 pm and i could NOT stop ready until 4 in the morning. I really like how much detail goes into each chapter and how the plot of your story is actually playing out. It wasn't how i expected it to be at all because i thought that it was going to be all fluff. The darker element that's added towards the last few chapters has blended in really well so well done. And, the character development of cole and sidney throughout the chapters has gone out really well too! GREAT JOB.

UPDATE.
smileylin chapter 4 . 4/9/2010
OH MY GOD! you like the show bones too? haha thats my favorite show!
V.C.Kazz chapter 19 . 3/29/2010
omg! lol so i have to admit i called the whole leo being the one to start the fire...it wasnt obvious tho I just managae to know these things. so this was crazy good! im curious as to what happens now im excited that coles brother is no involved, kinda. btw i LOVE the originality!
V.C.Kazz chapter 18 . 3/29/2010
okay so i just started reading this stroy a day ago...a friend had recommended it a while ago but being spring break and all i just found the time. i gotta say the plot and all as really well and i am really loving it! this chapter made me real happy because i tend to know what gonna happen...i always have a way of predicting whats going to happen and i rpredicted chad being steven and im glad that came true! great stroy so far cant wait to see wut happens. im planning on reading the rest right about now
TheNerdWriter chapter 19 . 3/24/2010
PUHLEEAZE update! I'm going to cry if you don't... *sniffle*
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