To be honest it's hard to read this, but then again, I'm still going aren't I?
I feel this story could have some potential if you're willing to tweak it.
I don't like how you've portrayed Chris as a stereotypical "gay-boy", because you've made his sexuality the only main character point for him. I also don't like how Fay is constantly described as "beautiful" and "perfect". You've described that when she was first introduced, you don't need to keep reminding us about it.

Also Aiden's family is rich, but his mother is an artist? And a limo to school? Sounds like more money than sense, just saying! But artists don't pull in a lot of money, I should know because I'm an artist myself and it's hard to get a big break.
And one more thing I don't particularly agree with is Aiden. He's moved on her so quickly when he's only just met her! He's cute, I'll give him that, but if I were in her shoes I'd be a little creeped out or off-put. And I would guess any new student would be too nervous to do that anyway.
But back to what I was saying before, his mother not approving of his emo look and blaming his friends for it, classing it as a bad influence? She's an artist isn't she, she should welcome his form of self expression.
But upon saying that, I haven't read far enough to see if his old friends have been elaborated on yet. Onward I will read :)

Really great story. Characters were very real and the story compelling.

Hello! I just started reading your story and would like to give some suggestions. :) I noticed that the second two paragraphs of your first chapter felt lengthy to read, and when I read them again I realized that every single sentence started with I. I run into this problem when I write also, but I would suggest rewording some I the sentences and adding more action verbs in order to start out you book strong(er). After reading the first chapter I plan on reading the rest, but just hoped to provide some friendly pointers.

Amazing. So well written and very gripping. Good job.

Lol, sorry it's this chapter that you wrote Adam instead of Aidan...

Is Adam supposed to be Aidan? I think you messed up on the name, or I'm jus super confused. Anyways, this is a great story so far, so I'll just keep reading on :)

Awww, he sounds soooo adorable! I felt blushy, too, just reading about how Hannah felt, and how he acted, too! / I love this!

This will be the emo boy, right? And he's in a LIMO? O.o

Aww, that's sad... Poor Hannah. Well, I hope things get better for her in the next chapter _

So far, so good. This is pretty well written. I noticed only one spelling error in the story, but I forgot where and what it was .; Though, prologue is misspelled in the chapter name.

I noticed very descriptive sentences about their clothes. You seem to excel at describing physical traits. Only if they were dressing victorian age, why would she wear her grandmother’s dress? That definitely would not be victorian. Anyway. Man you’re really going far to portray these students as snobby rich kids. Man it was never like that and the student council wouldn’t be allowed to rig the ballot, especially at the catholic school you have described.

My first observation for this chapter appeared right away. If her mother had wished to be cremated and it was in her Will, the state would be legally obligated to follow her will, whatever the wish of her husband. Now let’s move on.

Wait a second. Baseball sized tears? I really can’t come up with a good reason for that to be there. That’s simply unrealistic and just impossible considering the physics of water and the anatomy of a human.

Spelling error: “He was not look at me.” Looking

Otherwise this is a very touching scene. My only distress is caused by the realization that their relationship bloomed out of nowhere, kinda like Romeo and Juliet. OHH that reminds me. I had a point to make but once again forgot it. Back when Kathy talked about Romeo and Juliet. I had problems with her saying, “Star crossed lovers. How romantic is that?”

Not very romantic under the terms of how the play is themed. Romeo and Juliet’s relationship is based on nothing but pure infatuation. They only knew each other, from what I remember is, 4 days total but decided to marry instantly, then they consummate it and it all ends up in both of their deaths. That was how the story goes. There was nothing romantic about their relationship. In my opinion, the only romantic part of the play is when Romeo woos Juliet after laying eyes on her.

“If I profane with my unworthiest hand

This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this:

My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand

To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss”

But when it comes to their relationship as a whole, it was based on instant gratification and feeling. It’s like twilight on crack.

Ah! Freud, the crazy bastard. I never liked some of his studies but it’s nice seeing some research for a story. Now from what I’ve seen, you’re quite the fan of psychology, even pursuing it as a major in college. This has translated into what we tropers call “Author Avatar” but what I consider, the premier Mary-Sue. You’ve inserted yourself into a story as another person who shares either your exact same ideas and physical traits, or the physical traits you desire. In a sense, you’ve created your perfect self and used that character to live out your fantasies. This can be seen in published works such as Eragon and Twilight. I really hate showing a writer how their character is a mary-sue but to be honest, literary mary-sues are never interesting to read for a person well versed in Tropes and who has experience in fiction. My suggestions is that you keep you and your characters separate. Create them not as a reflection of yourself but as their own entity and personality with their own traits.

Epiphany: The sudden feeling of understanding something previously not understood. One cannot have an epiphany that today was going to be a good day. That is called having a good morning. An epiphany would if she went through the entire day not really thinking or enjoying it much and then understanding before she went to bed, “Today was a good day” and smiled. That’s an epiphany and that would read better. You know I’m kinda getting riled because of how Fay is constantly described as so beautiful it lacks in comparison to anyone else. She’s the classic definition of a Mary Sue, or what I call a traditional mary sue. A traditional sue is perfect, in every way. A traditional sue is constantly shown in heavenly light and has no flaws, only serving the purpose of gaining support. We got the idea that she was gorgeous in the 1st chapter. We don’t need to be reminded constantly. This reminds me of the really bad indie movie “The Room”. We’re supposed to feel sorry for the main character by the end of the film because the others constantly tell us over and over again that he’s such a good guy.

The thing about modern mary-sues is that they either seem to be author insertion to live out their fantasies, or they’re author insertion to gain sympathy. You see this a lot with the amateur trope of physically abusive parents. It’s only purpose is to gain sympathy but it’s so overly obvious. I’m getting hints of these ideas in this story.

I actually read through this chapter before I realized this mistake. They said they were dressing as Victorian age girls and Fay wanted Hannah to dress as Rose from Titanic. This is contradictory. Queen Victoria’s reign ended in 1901, eleven years before the Titanic was set on her maiden voyage. Rose from Titanic was not a Victorian era women

I was reminded of a point in the prologue but forgot to point it out. In the Prologue, the EKG sent a steady endless beep, meaning there was no electrical activity in the heart. Now this is called Asystole, and that means that the heart is completely lifeless and is not circulating blood. This means death yet you said that the mom was in a coma. A coma is when someone loses consciousness for more than 6 hours and then it goes into several classifications. You also said she was in a vegetative state long before she died, or went into the ‘coma you mentioned’. Not a vegetative state is classified as a wakeful unconscious state lasting longer than a few weeks. That means they respond to outward stimuli but aren’t conscious. Her mom was simply bed ridden. Like I said, Asystole means that there is no blood being pumped and the brain starts to die by asphyxiation. If the heart stops pumping completely, the brain only has minutes to live before dying as well, meaning the loss of the person’s life, not reducing them into a coma. Okay onto the chapter. I figured I should say that keyboards are not pianos and keyboard is a term to refer to an instrument with a set of levers next to each other. When you say keyboard it can mean a clavichord, harpsichord, or a piano. If you mean an electrical keyboard then you need to edit because an electrical keyboard’s keys aren’t made of ivory, in fact I don’t think modern pianos are made of ivory. What interested me was when she started bawling. It might work better if there was a specific part of the song that gets her, maybe a line that was her mother’s favorite, so when she gets to that line, there’s a concrete reason that causes her to lose control.