Reviews for lost causes and hopeful poets
outruntheavalanche chapter 1 . 11/4/2008
Wow. This was terrific. I particularly liked "in the rain that trickles salvation /and the endless night holding back its sigh". Excellent writing.
a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 7/26/2008
incredible. anonymous to ourselves, cry for the world never meant to be, an ocean of stars, and i could go on quoting beautiful lines, but that would be quite pointless. i love this.
rust phoenix chapter 1 . 7/26/2008
This is beautiful. The lines in parentheses are my favorite part, but the whole piece is lovely and fits together. I can relate to the emotion in it, and really the whole idea - wonderful metaphors.

Maybe this is weird to say, but I love the line breaks. You put them in unique places that still fit with the flow but subtlely (sp?) affect the meaning (i need/to believe in). The whole look of the poem really fits the mood.

In terms of constructive criticism, all I can think of is in the lines "songs that stretch over an ocean/of stars" you could leave out the "of stars", because the line before is already strong enough to convey your meaning. If keeping the stars in there means a lot to you, you could add a couple words to make the line unique, because I've heard the phrase "ocean of stars" several times before, and it doesn't seem to fit with an otherwise very original poem.

Keep writing!