|Reviews for Doubtful Destruction|
| Scarlett Wynter chapter 1 . 8/11/2008
I liked the last two lines the best. I didn't like your use of the word "surrounds" I found it awkward. It's a good poem, but not really in the style of Sandburg, which I kind of expected since this was a response to his poem. Also, I think it has a too much narration/sentences in it, perhaps breaking it up a little more...idk. Anyway, it's pretty good.
| Bavand chapter 1 . 8/10/2008
I haven't read Sandburg's poem because I believe any poem should stand on its own and that any "a/n"s, or "in reference to" or "a response to" are more like supplemental enhancements to add to the poetic experience of the reading.
Having said all that... this is very interesting. I love poems that put thoughts, feelings and/or a heart into inanimate objects and this really nails what the Sphinx's heart would be like.
I love the "the stone lips breathe forth all meaning", "break a self- inflicted silence merely for an inconvenient death"-it reflects the majestic haughtiness/borderline arrogance of the huge ancient stately monument.
And I love the ending "And as he shatters, the words that made up meaning disappear into the earth as it absorbs him" because the ravages of time are taking its toll and the poor thing is crumbling and sinking into the sand.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 8/8/2008
Personally I would put his poem first because this is a response so i wanted to read his piece first to know what you were responding to if that makes sense.
I didn't like the word surrounds, I'm not really sure why. Maybe I'm just not used to it being used as a noun? But it sounded a bit awkward to me. The other thing was with the lies and the wrong answers, I knew the lies were on purpose, but the phrase "wrong answers" could be on purpose or just not knowing and I wasn't sure which you meant. Other than that I liked it. I especially love the last two lines, that was a really wonderful image.