|Reviews for Lessons for a Prince|
| SilverTwilight chapter 1 . 7/31/2008
Well, let me start by saying that this doesn't seem to be in the right category. I like the moral you are trying to make, but the story seems caught between a children's and an adult's. Omit the longer, more complicated words and the story would be a perfect little fairy tale. If you are writing for an older audience, then I think you should include more details. Other than that, it is very good.
Some usage problems, such as you using the word "depression" thoughout the story, which seems to contradict the arrogance of the prince. And in the end, "...but he still couldn't shake the underlined feeling of contentment..." which should probably be the underlined feeling of doubt or something, because it is already clear that he feels confident in his future.
I wrote all this because it seems you are stuck with this story and I just wanted to help move it along. Hopefully, this does help. Keep writing!