|Reviews for Butterfly|
| Peace Revolution chapter 1 . 10/8/2008
i really liked the first stanza. i thought that it had rhythm. the middle didn't flow very well, but it had some good imagery. i really liked the 'silhouetted against the sun' line.
| deefective chapter 1 . 8/6/2008
Well, what I did like about this was the last line. It was just GOLDEN. I can't find anything wrong with it at all. But what I didn't like was maybe the rest of it. I don't think the part in the middle should've been that long. It didn't need to be. But other than that, overall a good poem.
| DefineBeauty chapter 1 . 8/4/2008
about the author's note: actually, i didn't get a negative message about this, i think that this girl or butterfly or whatever gives off the message that she can be who she wants to be. my first initial reaction when she said she could fly was suicide, but the rest of the poem makes it clear that that's not what it's talking about, and it isn't a negative message
the flow really is not so great...it could have to do with line breaks or the fact that some of it rhymes and other parts don't. i don't know exactly how i would fix that, but thought i'd give you a heads up
i like how you did the three seperate stanzas, but i'm not so much for the second one. that's mainly where the flow is off as well. but i think you could have donealot better with his stanza, with the wording of it and the format of it and everything.
my favorite part about this piece is the last stanza. i think that this is the part that some people might take as negative, but to me it's just a simple fact of life. also, this stanza doesn't seem to have anything wrong with it, it's the best stanza out of the three ]