Reviews for Little Less Obvious
LazySundayGirl chapter 1 . 10/2/2013
oooh, mix in the old classic of 'foes become kissing buddies, some sexual tension, bad past, and an unrequited crush and youve got yourself a story. i would read on, but it is now 1.13 and i have to get up in 5 hours and shiiiiiit. gnight
Dominique Diane chapter 36 . 9/14/2013
Oh my god! Such an awesone fic! I cried and laugh a lot, and loved Alex more than anythings!
Regards,
Diane.
lostintraffic chapter 28 . 8/3/2013
best story i have read in this site. Oh, you are so awesome!
MrsHellman chapter 35 . 7/22/2013
Wonderfully executed. It was a bit cliché that Alex happened to be a part of the band Keri liked so much, but hey, it made an awesome story nevertheless. I like your characters in general, but some parts (like her brother's breakup) felt a bit rushed - we'd never heard of her being sick before. But I'm glad I stumbled upon this, it was great, so I thank you!
Maggie odonoghue chapter 12 . 7/14/2013
Ok I should have said this a couple of chapters ago, but in what world would a girl who likes a band (Keri) NOT know the names of the members?
Guest chapter 4 . 7/14/2013
love your story so far! might even stay up to finish it today!
Suwelly chapter 36 . 7/13/2013
This was really really amazing. At times I got frustrated w Keri and Alex that I wanted to slap the living day light out of them but then other times I wanted to plant a giant kiss on their faces. Great story.
SkyBlue1309 chapter 36 . 7/7/2013
That was cute! Lol. Love Alex.
Addie chapter 36 . 7/6/2013
This was absolutely amazing. I mean it. I had such an amazing time reading this.

Your writing style is wonderful. There are basically no grammar mistakes, which, for me at least, makes a story so much more enjoyable. I love the way you're able to balance humor and seriousness realistically. You moved through so many tones and emotions throughout this story, it was spectacular to read.

I think one of my favorite parts of this was the realism. Your characters aren't perfect. They're far from it. That's what makes them lovable. The relationships aren't perfect. Heck, Kevin and Rochelle seemed to be, and they didn't work (that was awful by the way). You didn't rush the story. As much as I wanted Keri and Alex to just GET TOGETHER ALREADY, it was all the better that they didn't. The emotions were spectacularly developed and understandable. I also loved the continuous plot. You didn't make it only about Keri and Alex. It was about the band and college and friendships and decisions and it absolutely resonated with me.

I really, truly loved this story. It was beautiful.

Addie
HeadOverHeelsInHate chapter 36 . 7/6/2013
Whooo! Well, I love this story. It's so fucking awesome. You built Alex and Keri's relationship up awesomely and their chemistry is tangible. It's so cute and well written. I like how realistic each relationship is in this story. Like, though some of the couples aren't common or likely, but their relationships are based on things that could very well happen and you don't make it seem like everyone will get a happily ever after on their first go round. Anyways, awesome story. I also liked the lyrics to the song he sang for her. Nice.
3rd Bookworm chapter 36 . 6/30/2013
Awww that was such a cute ending to a really great story.
zeanii chapter 36 . 6/17/2013
Omg! I love how you start and end the story/book/thing with almost the exact same sentence. This story gave me a great idea, and no, i'm not using any of your stuff. I love u!
darkouthere chapter 1 . 3/17/2013
i think you did a decent job writing something that, while cliche and opening with the main characters in bed the night after a drunken one-night-stand, has a different angle. the fact that stories involving bands/musicians are a weakness of mind may have influenced my opinion a bit.

there are some things you could have worked on like unnecessary passages or side characters that are useless or forgettable. i would provide an example, but i've already forgotten ;) also, i have a problem with keri. she showed a lot of promise early on, but later on, i stopped caring about her and her problems. i'm not sure why, to be honest, so sorry i can't provide better feedback on that. in fact, i only finished the story because i really felt for nick and the lost friendship story line. i wanted to see how the two would repair their friendship and i didn't really get as much of that as i would have liked. i also liked kevin (probably because i relate to him as a fellow xc/track runner) and his story with rochelle, which, in the end, didn't impact me since their relationship was more told rather than shown.

anyway, i don't really like the ending, but that's because i'm dead inside and saw it coming a million miles away, so that kind of bored me. otherwise though, you're an excellent writer of dialogue and good job with coming up with the story :)

oh one question i had while reading: who is the lyricist of little less obvious? do all band members get a say in writing their songs? because i'd like to know who wrote "little love." i'm guessing kevin and/or nick...
LaraDFanFiction chapter 36 . 3/8/2013
(Ch. 1) There was no one in the world that Keri DeGiovanni hated more than Alexander Vidal.
(Epilogue) There was no one in the world that Keri DeGiovanni loved more than Alexander Vidal.

Two words: Mind. Blowing.

This story was one of the cutest, most heartrenching things I have ever read. [The amount of cursing threw me off, though. (Not too big of a problem, though; I'm just not used to so much :3)] Alex and Keri/BB were adorable, Kevin and Rochelle were adorable (NOOOO! D,: Can't believe they broke it off), and Jenai is the cutest thing in the universe.

I think what I loved the most about the story was Alex. Alex is like no other villain turned hero I've ever read about before. He's not a jock, he's not strong, he's not a bad boy, he's not a nerd turned hot, he's...Alex. Average. Popular, yes, sex-driven (at first) yes, but definitely unique. The only thing jerkish about him (and this is in the beginning of the story) is how he liked one-night stands, getting drunk, etc.

But really? He's sweet, he's kind. He's there for his friends, his friends are there for him. I mean, it took him a YEAR to try as succeed to become closer to Keri. And he never gave up. He took her to the beach, got her a turquoise necklace, took her to prom, the whole shebang! And when he and Keri finally became friends, he conplimented her and -he showed so much care for Keri, a girl who absolutely loathed him. He practically went to the ends of the Earth to get her back when he messed up. The whole Alex-and-Keri-had-sex-rumor-has-it and Tracy-is-back incidents really messed his relationship up with Keri. Seriously bad. But he worked hard to get Keri back.

Now Keri was slightly less than awesomesauce. I liked her in the beginning. I actually didn't picture as Japalian (?), so she actually looked like a nerd in my head, with the big glasses and all. So I thought the story was going to be another nerd/jock thing with me beig on Keri's side.

I have to admit, during the course of the story I shifted to Alex's side.

Don't get me wrong, Keri's an awesome girl (she balances school and free time and work -she must be a friggin wizard), but with the way she kept treating Alex, even when they became friends, calling him a dumb*ss and other cuss words when HE was being so sweet to her and complimenting her...she was just GAAAAH. And then not letting Alex explain GAAAAAH. And when Alex kept telling her to stop listening to rumors and she listened to the one where she and Alex supposedly had sex GAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I felt so bad for Alex. That rumor wouldn't have been spread of Keri hadn't made a move on Alex first (even though they actually didn't have sex). That annoyed me greatly throughout the course of the story. Alex was trying so hard to change for her and Keri kept pegging him as the man-wh*re with no heart and -just no. Alex didn't have sex for a whole friggin year after he experienced it with Keri and did so many things for her and she thinks he doesn't CARE.

That's probably the only thing that ticked me off in the story. But back to the positives.

MY GODS, I loved the character interactions! The way Nick and Alex treat each other was funny! I especially liked the part where Alex is trying to ask Keri to come on a double date and he's like what the f*** do I tell her?! And Keri says, "Maybe you should cover up the phone better next time." And Bella and Alex when Alex bet 10 bucks he could get Keri to do something. And all he said was, "Hey Keri! I'll buy you some gelato!" and she was by his side, haha!

But the book was quite amazing. I can't believe you made this story when you were 16 -four years ago right? Wow.

Thank you for writing; I noticed you haven't written in a REALLY long time, but that you posted and updated your profile during January, so I'm assuming you still roam FictionPress. :)

But anyways, thank you thank you thank you. This was a wonderful way to pass the week ad I enjoyed all the characters IMMENSELY. Alex and Keri were adorable. The presents they got each other were adorable. I love this story so much.

Thank you. :) Keep writing!

-Lara
lala777 chapter 36 . 3/1/2013
I really love this story! :')
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