Reviews for Our broken music box
Aerwiya chapter 1 . 3/23/2009
This is amazing! I really enjoyed reading this poem. It is too cute and you ended it pretty much perfectly.
lael1bologna chapter 1 . 3/1/2009
That is the most amazing poem I've read from you! Wonderfully brought up into poetry! Beautifully made!
Erlkoenigin chapter 1 . 11/20/2008
Mir gefällt die Metapher mit der broken music box und der kleinen Ballerina, fast wie bei Christian Anderson.
May Elizabeth chapter 1 . 9/26/2008
I love this. So vividly beautiful.
Unique1952 chapter 1 . 9/4/2008
This is sweet.

I like the imagery as well as how good it flows.

Good work with this, it's very sweet and I enjoyed reading it.
Kissing Concrete chapter 1 . 8/24/2008
This was a beautiful poem, a piece of art. I love the imagery, the language, and frankly, everything about it. It had a nice flow, and it almost felt like a living heart beat.

It was a fairy tale poem, and a sad poem, and a deep poem. I almost want to know what inspired it, and I almost don't. I

love the lines: "just like I broke you into small pieces," "at the bottom of some broken hearts," "the leaves fall too soon," and "we buried a dream under the shadows of an old tree." Fantastic work.
Living Life Free chapter 1 . 8/21/2008
Aww. I love this peom!
Cindy Moon chapter 1 . 8/17/2008
Very good imagery, and quite nostalgic. Nice work!

-Cindy Moon *)
Isca chapter 1 . 8/16/2008
"I dug and dug into the ground, the broken music box and the little ballerina with her pink tutu were still at the bottom of some broken hearts." Incredible imagery!
Katie Nicole chapter 1 . 8/12/2008
This poem is sad and, if I'm not mistaken, ridden with metaphors. But I like that.

It's kind of elusive and hard to read exactly what went on, but your tone of sadness is clear, maybe even with hints of regret or apologies.

Nice job (:

Katie
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 8/12/2008
"with her pink tutu was born;"... I think you should use a period here

"She danced on a floor covered with pink petals from an unknown flower"... and a semi-colon after there

"they.. Don't die."... I would just say "they don't die" I'm not liking the ... plus there shouldn't be a capital D even if you use the ...

I like the piece though. The fourth stanza is my favorite. And the ending was nice as well. It's a overused topic, but you put such a unique & interesting spin on it.
Counting Petals chapter 1 . 8/10/2008
This was beautiful. Beautiful imagery...I think if the flow was a little better, though, it could be even better. )
fatbird33 chapter 1 . 8/8/2008
i really liked it a lot. It told a great story and you used some powerful words in there. I liked the first stanza a lot.
IdeasInTheAir chapter 1 . 8/8/2008
Wow, beautiful poem! I loved the first two lines, and the whole thing just flowed so well. Very good job on this, and I have one suggetion. In the line "and she stopped to dance until a sad afternoon...", I think it would work better as "and she stopped dancing" because the 'stopped to' kind of broke the flow for me. But maybe that's what it's there for, you know better than anyone.

Great job, it's really well done! Bravo!

Smiles,

Danielle)
Qzie chapter 1 . 8/8/2008
Aw... that was beautiful. I tried to corrolate the rest of the poem with the first stanza, and it worked marvelously. Good job. Chat later. -Qzie
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