Reviews for Boy Bride
Chancee chapter 6 . 6/19/2009
That was so cute. I t so reminds me of something else that I will tell you about later, but it was a great way to have all of them meet and interact with each other.

I could feel the unease in the Alpha and the wizard's picking kept me laughing. This is so good, I really did not look for any misstakes. I know that some people review and stuff just jumps out but IMO this is excellent and I just love it to pieces.

You are so good with your pace and the tone is so nice. I also like the eerie dream in the beginning and the foreshadowing so way to go with the suspense factor really!

Great story!

Momo author of My Queen - Pay it forward the roadhouse
Chancee chapter 5 . 6/19/2009
I say loads of drama which is what I like! Now I hope you are not going to tell us this guy can have kids are you? Just PM me the answer and I'll go from there. This is such a cute story and I am loving the reactions of Leon and Myrddin and Jibri. I don't know if I've said it or not but I like the names you have in your story and well I just can't wait to read more.

I think it is going at a good pace because when I got to the AN I was like ' AW man'. So great job of telling us more about Jibri too. It is not a forced way to bring in more information and the dialogue was really realistic!

Kuddos to you great author and I know you have even more drama in store. Poor matchmaking wizard.

Momo author of My Queen - Pay it Forward
Chancee chapter 4 . 6/19/2009
Oh this is just getting better and better I see. The reaction of Leon about Myrddin's gift was really funny. Nana was also a treat in her interaction, which made the characters seem so real.

I like the humor that is through this and it helps with moving the story along and keeping the wit up. I also like how Myrdin is not totally afraid of Leon and vice versa but yet they have a mutual respect.

I think the flashback was also a very nice added touch and it wasn't too long to take away from the present action.

You are very good and I truly do enjoy this story so keep it up and notice I am gaining in chapters so I hope you have some updates soon.

Momo author of My Queen - Pay it forward the Roadhouse
Chancee chapter 3 . 6/18/2009
Still a very cute story. Jibri is adoreable and I still hate the no good mercenary with all my being. I hope you get back to him and his crew so we can see them get killed good fashion...

Okay that was really emotional of me, but hey you write well and I believe in your characters. They are so life like in what the situation is and the whole slavery bit is one that is never to be played with but maybe you will show some kind of good come out of all of this.

I see that Jibri is also very special to his tribe being the son of a Shaman so I am waiting on pins and needles to see if he awakens a power of sight or something. I don't know but this is so entertaining and a joy to read. Keep up the excellent work and please update. I noticed you stopped at chapter 8. **Hint**Hint**

See you at the bar!

Momo author of My Queen - Pay it forward the Roadhouse
Chancee chapter 2 . 6/16/2009
Okay that was interesting to say the least. I like your characters and the little wizard is really cute. I see drama stirring and I know this is going to get really complicated for our young prince. So he doesn't want a dawning hunh?

I can't wait to see how his attitude plays throughout and I have an idea of what he has in store for Leonhart.

Cliche's as I have said many times are fine as long as they are well written. I mean honestly much of it is how everything is built upon in writing. If you can't get the old stuff right then why try something new? I think personally you are doing a good job and the flow and pace is really good so keep it up.

Momo author of My Queen - Pay it forward the roadhouse
Chancee chapter 1 . 6/16/2009
HM...I must tell you I was angry and then I got even angrier, and then I began to grit my teeth while mumbling curses at the mercenaries. Does that tell you anything?

It should. You wrote this well enough to evoke emotion so excellent job with your wording. It is awful what happened to the slaves, and the young man that stepped forward is really brave. I almost teared up when he was thrown over the Boss's shoulder but hey, there again that is a good sign since I was really into it.

This was a great start and I just know that this will have a lot of passion for freedom and courage for standing up for the rights of others. I am eager to see where this story will lead and I'm glad you brought it to the roadhouse.

flawedxuni chapter 8 . 6/14/2009
NO, that's it so far? Man... I was all ready to go to the next chapter, only to see that this was the last one. Made me sad :(

Anyway, it took me awhile to read this story since I found it around four a.m or so, and then tried with all my might (which wasn't much) to stay awake and read it. Turned out, I couldn't, so I just unwillingly stopped for the night (morning) and went to sleep. Woke up four hours later, wide awake (? don't ask lol) and then started reading it again, but then fell asleep cuz I guess I was still tired but didn't know. Now, one p.m I finally finish it, and now I'm sad. lol.

This story is really, really great. No joke. I honestly adore all of the characters (beside the mercenary in the beginning). Jibriel (love the name btw) is so adorable! I love how he acts shy at times, and the fact that he'll be fighting for Leonhart. Which he better win (they'd be so cute together!) ;) Beowulf... I'm kind of wondering if you got that name (or maybe you don't know it) from the old story? It's been awhile since I've read it, and the spelling might be different, but I know there's a story about a guy (?) named Beowulf. It was something I had to read in my brit lit. class, and I honestly thought it was boring. But this Beowulf is awesome, actually. He's an asshole but I feel that fits him. I can't wait to read more of him. But I just hope that he treats Jibriel more... nice? I'd actually like to see them becoming friends later on, or at least aquaintences. But I really doubt that will happen! I guess, I could probably see him being understanding when he realizes that he lost Leonhart to Jibriel, and that he steps back and allows them to be together. Maybe. It's just a mindless guess... or wishful thinking on my part :) whatever does happen though, I know I'll like it anyway. I hope.

Okay, now... I can't forget the wizard or Nana. so here goes. I. Love. The. Wizard. Seriously. At first when I read the summary, I was bit hesitant to opening it up since I wasn't really into wizards. They always seem to be the same in every story. They're either like the Harry Potter versions of wizard (though technically I like Harry Potter but still...), or the old Merlin type of wizard... wait, was he a wizard? Or maybe Lord of the Rings... wasn't the tall old guy one too? Basically, to me, they all seem portrayed as either tall (short), with a long beard (or perhaps not), and kind of boring smart. To me at least. I feel that your wizard is wity, fun and just very full of himself (even though I know he cares for others). It's so intrigueing and it's nice as well to have a different version of a wizard that I'm not used to. He does and says what he wants. He's someone that boasts about his skills (being the best, powerful one of all). He pretends he doesn't care and likes to pick fun at Leonhart, even though we know that he does care :) He's the perfect wizard in my opinion and I'm glad I decided to open this story and read.

Now... Nana. I like her, she's very motherly and I'm glad Jibriel has someone like that around, especially since he lost his mother not so long ago (so sad...). I'm curious about her.

Yikes, I realize that I never said anything about Leonhart. No worries. I love him as well. I love how he has tempers, even if we haven't really seen them (I so want to soon though!) And I really do think of him as a wolf, don't know if you meant for that. I actually feel that beowulf seems like one as well (and maybe some of the other soldiers). But anyway, Leonhart is awesome, so he needs to be with cute little Jibriel! Also, I could so totally see him being very protective of Jibriel!

Okay, that's all now. I'm writing to darn much and I'm sure you're annoyed with reading such a long review. Pretty much, love the story, love the characters, and can't wait for more. So please do update soon. I really want more!

-eVil uNicorns-
BlaznFangurl chapter 2 . 6/5/2009
Ello mate, back again.

First off I do not think Gale is a stupid mane, completely random, but as you stated on your profile, random is you God :)

Okay, I am confused. why do you call the older of the two a bot and the younger of the two a man, I know the younger is taller, but still, it is confusing ?_?

Uh, I do not know what to say, this chapter was a bit odd. I hope you explain what a Alpha is, and who these people are, or I will forever be confused :) Like I said before, iI would love to see more detail. Also if Leon is the boy from the island, then in the prologue you said he had gold eyes( I think if I remember) and in here you said silver(just a comment, but seeing as I have not read farther yet ignore me)

All in all it was okay. Blazn( Hope I am not sounding mean :( )
BlaznFangurl chapter 1 . 6/5/2009
Hello there, I am fellow slash lover and came to review.

Well first off let me say that I think you have a really nice idea going here. However I see this a lot, and perhaps I do it too, but you skip around a lot. What I mean by this is you just go to the next part, instead of flowing into it, which gives it a bit of a hurried look. I also think you could add a bit more detail, detail is what really helps the words flow together. All in all it was a nice prologue and it made me interested in your story. If you wouldn't mind could you review my prologue on Too Screwed to be Cliche, I read your profile and I know it said that you don't like non yoai/slash fictions, so if you prefer could you review Unsevered Ties, it is my first slash.

Keep up the interesting story and I will most definetely be back.
SkyBel chapter 8 . 5/19/2009
This was my favourite chapter so far. I enjoyed Myrddin's anger, Jibri's dream (how georgeous did you make his relationship with Hamza, but as you said, enough about him) and Leon's confusion with the council. Oh, and nice plot device there with the dance. Wonder who's gonna teach him, eh?

PS I knew I'd like Beowulf.
gumdropspimp chapter 8 . 5/19/2009
:D I want to see the epic battle for Leonharts affections! :D Hope to read more soon!
SkyBel chapter 7 . 5/19/2009
I liked the kiss in this chapter - it didn't seem out of place or too soon at all. We have to remember that even though he is conflicted, Leon is still attracted to Jibri. And Jibri is just too cute for his own good.

I like Beowulf as well. I think I will enjoy his character.
SkyBel chapter 6 . 5/19/2009
You have portrayed Jibri as both shy and confident and it is an endeering contrast.
SkyBel chapter 5 . 5/19/2009
you have set up some serious angst. I do find it interesting that Jibri will be 'blessed' with and heir. does this mean that he can bear a child? Hm.
SkyBel chapter 4 . 5/19/2009
So now I feel silly for my earlier questions because it's all so obvious now. I love the antagonism between Myrddin and Leon. And Leon's reaction to Jibri!
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