|Reviews for who would you like to be today?|
| a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 8/10/2008
how i can relate to these feelings.
this part doesn't seem to flow to me:
"and then, when someone
siphons my hope
i am left
your wasted potenial"
nice work, of course.
| rust phoenix chapter 1 . 8/10/2008
I can really, really relate to this. The last stanza especially is so incredibly true. And simplicity definitely isn't a bad thing - if there are too many ideas jumbled together the main point gets lost, but this focuses on one main thought and explores it, which is usually more effective. Simple poems can actually be harder to write well, because every line has to mean something (which should be the case in complicated poetry too, but if a line doesn't work the reader can skip over it without thinking too much about it, whereas in shorter, clearer poems it will stand out more).