|Reviews for MechKnight : The Lady's Guardian|
| Chancee chapter 8 . 3/7/2009
As always your story is gripping well narrated, wonderfully descriptive and tastefully executed. The description of Switzerland was very creative. I always enjoy the affection shown for Maugrim, it feels so much like that of an owner of a police dog. A really really big police dog. HAHAHA!
Dieter was masterfully described and bravo to The Wordsmith for her creation. She is well in tune with your style of writing and love of mech warriors.
Now I got slightly confused with the background discussion about Alsace, but I will re-read it to see if you talk about it in an earlier chapter, but it did not interrupt the flow of my reading too much to bother me. Just wanted you to know I got tripped up.
I liked the ring/info exchange, rather clever of them.
You had a double word when Negri was scouting..'but allow allowed...'but that is the only thing I saw, which is rare for me in my reviews to you. You normally don't have any mistakes that I notice.
Overall this is by far a well planned out, and magnificently collaborated story. It gives the history of each character and its setting a sparkle that keeps the attention of the reader and never fails in the abundance of imagery and colorfulness.
Well Done my friend, well done and now I must get to the next chapter to see them in battle, which I've waiting for.
| SuzannaR chapter 2 . 3/5/2009
Good chapter, I like your style of writing, it seems very formal? I'm not sure that this is the right word.
I like your description of the cardinal as a political animal -he seems very nice and understanding.
Her descriptions of the area, the buildings, the papal hierarchy etc and so on are very detailed and good, I can see that you must have done a lot of research for this.
The only thing that bugs me is the boyar's voice in this, he seems really opposite to what I would have expected a stronger, perhaps more forceful voice? More sure of himself maybe. I found the part where he said "I suppose it would be appropiate for me to explain" ...I don't know. He doesn't sound like I'd expect. I like that' it's written in the fp though.
pay it forward
| abstow89 chapter 5 . 3/4/2009
"I suppose I was very slightly drunk."
This line was very hilarious to me because if you read between the lines, he's basically acting like those drunk drivers you see on those commericals who clearly are drunk even though they say they've only had a beer or two.
I also liked the descriptive vocab (as always) and the little interaction between Dominik and Vlad (finally, I figured out what his name is). He seems to serve as comical relief and is the funny guy is this story, which is something all stories need. To me, I don't think you can make a story without having SOME funny person that makes you laugh all the time.
I am curious how hard it would be to pilot Maugrin, since I am a guy after all...and I'd like to see Vlad's new color for it up close.
| criti-sized chapter 2 . 3/2/2009
Another greatly descriptive chapter. The narator gave off a good sense, and his train of thoughts was rather amusing. The part where he mentions he tries to be a good guy but doesn't know how he's doing had me laughing (which probably isn't good since I'm at work). Anyways, the chapter was nice, and the build up that you had was good. The dialogue was a bit of a turn off from the fact that it seems like it was a bit forced, but other than that nothing else.
| Ember Eyed Girl chapter 1 . 3/1/2009
I liked this first chapter...but I would like to point out that I am appreciative that you don't judge my opinions in my writing. My opinions are my own, and you seem to realize that. I'mll do this chapter at a time. I'LL BE BACK!
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 3 . 2/27/2009
Herro. :) Well, glad to review this one again. Anyway, at first when i looked through this chapter, I thought it out to be a filler. But tbh I do see a certain plot potential behind this chapter. Before I go to that, let me just say that I'm really impressed about your explanation on mech technology although I'm a total idiot in advanced mechanics. Also, the Cardinal seems like a nice man here. Someone who might be moved by situations alone atm, but still a nice guy all the same. And now for the plot issue that I've raised up just now. Well, why I said that is because of what you did in exploring morals in this chapter. It really did quite a bit to portray the main character here and I'll be more than interested to see where this will take his development since I do see the potential for that. ;) Apart from that, nothing much to say except that the ending of this chapter seems rather interesting plot wise. Wonder what the Lady has in store for our very own favorite wolfbot pilot. ;)
| raineyday chapter 7 . 2/27/2009
Oh, that conversation at the end was so tense! Ah! Wonderfully written. This is another great chapter.
I love Vlad's response when he first sees Maugrim again. I don't want to say it was heartwarming because that's sort of cheesy, but it was! I've decided that I absolutely adore his character, by the way. He's such a fleshed out, well-rounded, and intricate character. And a marvelous narrator at that!
"Could a radio wave color with embarrassment? “You can delegate authority, Boyar,” he said tightly."
Zing! Loved that line! Brilliant.
I adore this story so much; it's so polished and well-written. I just love it. It's all in the details in this one. And like I mentioned above, that last conversation is worth the price of admission! The dialogue is so dead-on, and I just love the relationship between Monica and Vlad. I'll be reading the next chapter soon!
| criti-sized chapter 1 . 2/27/2009
I was almost sure that I had started reading this story at one time and hadn't gotten around to finish it, but I stand corrected.
I really like the easy flow of your words and descriptions. Unlike some stories, this one doesn't seem like it's trying to be more difficult than it's supposed to by adding elements that aren't necessary.
At the beginning it's a bit slow, which turned me off at first, but eventually it drew me in. Also, great job on the character development.
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 2 . 2/26/2009
Herro. Hope you remember me lol! :D Anyway, that was a good chapter from you. All in all, it did a good insight on the main character's mind not to mention the possible political intrigue behind the scenes. :) And yeah, wonder what kind of wolfbot will graced the readers' eyes next lol! XD Anyway, good introduction of the background world from you again in the form of fusing it within the plot. I truly wonder if there will be more of that although I think what you've done here are pretty much enough and that other areas can be counted as a bonus. ;) Apart from that, nothing to comment. Interesting chapter here and I hope to r&r again. And yeah, hope to see more of your reviews for A Ranger's Tale soon as well. Bye! :)
| abstow89 chapter 4 . 2/25/2009
Well, that was a well-written chapter. Once again, the grammar and descriptions was excellent.
I kinda like the little relationship between Boyar and Lady Monica. He's just a mercenary who doesn't know why he's fighting and she's royalty, a member of a highly ranker family. It seems like he likes (or even loves her) but can't tell her how he really feels, even though she kind of figures it out (like when she find out he isn't a fool or an aggressive thug). Perhaps he doesn't want to tell her because he's afraid of how she'll respond. Getting rejected by a royal heir could really depress someone.
I guess for now it's better for him not knowing.
| SuzannaR chapter 1 . 2/19/2009
This was interesting. I'll admit that from the title and summary I didn't think that this was something I'd be interested in, but I found that it was quite fun to read.
I didn't like your opening, it showed the narrator as undecided, unsure, which is probably not a good hook to get people to read the rest of the chapter.
I like that this is in the first person, but I found the narrative tone in your first few paragraphs a bit unnatural perhaps?
I really liked his description of Maugrim and his relationship with her!
You've got a lot of details in this chapter, this shows you've done your research and it makes everything more realistic for us.
You've created an interesting world, it seems futuristic and medieval at the same time! Your language and some of the terminolgy suggests that the setting is in the past, except for the sci-fi things like Maugrim. I'm still unsure of the time period. I like that the setting is Europe, Vatican, and his comments about the cardinal made me wonder again of the time period, that part doesn't sound modern at all.
I wonder also, is Maugrim sentient? It sounds like she's some kind of robot thing, like the transformers? Is she somewhat like a glorified car? lol Boys and their cars eh?
Found a grammar error:
"it began was when I was a mere babe in arms" - you have an extra word "was".
I thought that you had an extra apostrophe here: 'mech- but I see it repeated often so I guess that's actually the name of it eh?
Very interesting, the first paragraphs are a bit slow, but I really liked the rest.
| Hrothgar chapter 1 . 2/19/2009
Wow. You drew me in from the first paragrapgh. I can't wait to read more. Very nice job!
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 1 . 2/18/2009
Herro there! Me again if ya remember lol! :D Anyway, I thought I should leave my reviewing for later, but then again, guess I might do a story before I go z. Ok, first things first, good story here. Inititally I thought you can use the background explanation from the views of an outsider, but guess what you did here could do. Just a bit of idea on my part here and that is, maybe you can do a two way view on the whole mech issue. One from the common folk and one from the main character himself. In this way, you can actually impact the reader from the contrast between fiction and truth in this area. Also, I think I smell a certain conspiracy here after reading this chapter. The Cradinal definitely has something up his sleeve. :S Which leads me to another suggestion and that is maybe you do a bit of insight on what the Cardinal is actually planning. Maybe not a lot, but enough to arouse the readers' interest. Of course you can do that part later which I guess you might have done by now, but given the nature of pace in this story here, maybe you can try having a shot at that if you want to do a rewrite. :) And wolf mech ftw for sure. In fact, anything good concerning wolves deserve my praise. :) And on a side note, the background of this story sort of reminds me of a combination of the Crusades and the manga series Trinity Blood. But then again, maybe your inspirations for the background world here lies in other areas. I don't know tbh. Anyway, will be back for more. And yeah, hope to see more of your reviews for A Ranger's Tale. Just saw your reply on the review thread and I went lol at you saying my main character being a dark kind of guy. Yeah he maybe an anti-hero, but him being dark in nature wasn't what I've planned. More likely I planned for him to go along the line of Sanzou of Saiyuki.
| raineyday chapter 6 . 2/17/2009
Oh no, she's betrothed! I wonder how they'll get around that one. But poor Vlad. The whole paragraph that described his reaction was just heart-wrenching; I feel for him!
As always, brilliant chapter. I really feel like we got to see so many more layers of Monica's character in this part, which was really nice. She's so well-rounded as a character, it's really refreshing.
Also as always, there is such an incredible sense of setting in this chapter! All the detail you put into this, it just glows. It's so rich.
I caught one typo, I believe: "and every waking moment and ever ounce of his training was directed towards that goal." Every ounce?
But other than that, it was just marvelous. I have a few quotes that I really liked.
"I could not do it justice, even if my skill as a writer were greater than my skill with a 'mech (and that, as many dead men would tell you if necromancy were not specifically prohibited by the Church, would be no small thing)."
"“Our Lord gave up His flesh for us today,” she remarked tightly to me, not looking at her grandfather. “The very least I can do is give up some perfumes and gold.”"
"Unless you've been there yourself, kindly withhold your scornful judgment of my inability to see the train-wreck just over the horizon."
I LOVE that last one! It's amusing, and it seamlessly addresses the audience. Very cool. I'm definitely looking forward to reading the next chapter!
| C. Hinton chapter 9 . 2/16/2009
I've got to say, this is among the most impressive stories I've read on the site. Your grasp of history, real and fictional, is astonishing as is your fantastic display of cultural moores and social niceties.
Then of course, there are the mechs, a passion of mine for a very long time.
I'm not usually a fan of the quadropedal mechs but in the case of Maugrim and Vladimir I'll gladly make an exception!
All in all a fantastic story.
I've noticed a few spelling errors and a couple words that are meant to be other words, while instead of white for example, but it isn't anything that in any way disturbed my enjoyment of this well told yarn.
Keep updating and happy writing.