this is really good. i can't wait to read the rest. update soon!

PFFT I prefer reading in verdana! Verdana is WAY better! I even prefer typing up my stories in verdana! Arial's too...weird! and anyway, EMMA, WRITE MORE K THX. this is really interesting so far xD I already adore Mara and Steve and his rustbucket LAWLZ. 's cute. AND HOW'S YOUR OTHER STORY COMING ALONG BTW? *o*

It took me a little while to figure out your tense, because parts of it were in present and others in past. But now I'm reading it as Mara telling it in the present, and the bulk of it being her looking back on trying to find her family. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it, in which case the tense switches don't make much sense. In either case, "She looks like me... twenty or so years older, but she looks like me." - Should probably be in past tense, since she was looking at the picture in the library.

Also, with the language being used, I think it might be good to rate this a T, just to be safe.

I do like the banter between Mara and Steve, though. I could definitely tell they're friends. Steve stuck me as practical when he needs to be, while Mara seemed to be more relaxed around Steve than around her family. (Well, I guess that makes some sort of sense.)

Anyway, yes, that's what I noticed this chapter.

I love this!

You have such a talent for writing!

Your characters are lovely, especially Steve.

The friendship between Steve and Mara is so nice.

I can't wait to see what happens next!

good work.

:)

"Back yonder..." - I wouldn't use "yonder" here, as that usually indicates direction, as opposed to time.

There weren't any errors here that I could see. Everything was coherent, and everything flowed really well. It was also reflective, but in a way that piques our curiosity, as opposed to boring us. I hope you post the next chapter soon!

Wow. This is a really thought-provoking piece! I love the comparison of dreams and sand. I don't know why, but it really struck me. Tugs a bit at the ol' heartstrings.

Anyway, lovely preface. I'd really like to know more about Mara's life.

Best of luck! I can't wait for an update.

-B.Z

PS: Thank you so much for the review you gave Feathers. It means a lot.

Great preface! The last line sounds very sad and makes me curious! Can't wait until you add more!

You've got a good start here. It was short, but I think it provided just the right amount of setup for whatever you've got planned in the next chapter.

I'll be looking out for it.

- Koki