Reviews for With My Life As in Trusting |
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![]() ![]() You really need to edit this. Really. The grammar is okay, but the plot and quality of writing are not. At all. I would take this down while you edit. That way, no innocent readers have to go through the torture that is this story. Sorry for being mean: I usually try to leave a compliment on my reviews but I couldn't think of anything. |
![]() ![]() ![]() :)) nice story |
![]() ![]() ![]() what! whoa I am shocked! Great story :D AWESOME! |
![]() ![]() ![]() if u ever get bored, rewrite this in more detail and extend things. everything happens a bit too quickly. and at the start, when she enters the shop/store, sludge is the cashier in his early twenties? and the other two "customers" in the shop, no mention of their age/appearence etc, even though they become fairly important characters? and sludge also appeared to be older then he is later on... it's a good plot, cliche at times, but a good read. be careful of spelling mistakes and/or grammar... yeah my main point is extend it more, and try to build images of the characters. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Lol she has two kids already after just getting married. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Interesting. |
![]() ![]() ![]() More! ) |
![]() ![]() ![]() times? Do tell! Love this story very awesome! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Can't wait for more. |