Reviews for House of Wolves
ebs12 chapter 55 . 1/6/2011
would have liked to see more of derrik, and a more developed relationship between vesper and uriel
RedMae chapter 55 . 1/6/2011
There is only one word i could use to describe House of Wolves. Epic. You are truly an artist. Thank you.
StaNdUPtomE chapter 55 . 1/6/2011
Wow, you will be busy, I am persuming you plan on publishing which is why they will no longer be available on FP?

My thoughts... at times when you have a Vesper chapter and you stick a Nick or someone else in their it does become a little confusing, because you are like WAIT who is this no longer Vesper? I don't know, maybe change them into different chapters or work on a better break system (of course due to FP format that is a little difficult)

Another thing, the beginning of this story I did not like... I read this story once before (Before I stuck with it) the first couple chapters and I just could not do it... was I in the wrong frame of mind to read it maybe? But I was also a little bit confused. It was not pulling me. THough part of it may have been not knowing anything, becasue now looking back at it I do understand how it went. But being a first time reader who did not know the history of the Dimitri pack I was lost.

The introduction of Uriel was great, I did like that

However Lucien I did not realise was her brother right away... I was thinking he was the 'his' you were referring to in the little synopsis.

Vesper herself is a very complex character, so (my advice I suppose) and you did mention it youerself be careful when editing, because you can't change her too much. Because like you said I think you will lose the growth that she had through the story.

Now looking at the story as a whole I understand Cameron, however Leslie, I felt was a little thrown in thier, I did not immediatly realise the connection.

I am trying to rack my brain for more things, but that would probably involve me to reread the story and figure out the rest...

If you would like another set of eyes, I would not mind trying, though I have edited college essays and not stories, and even their I am not the greatest

And (even if this review seems a bit negative) I was trying to think of everything that to me confused or just didn't seem like it was flowing) It is a little more helpful in the rewriting process.

Though good luck, overall it was a great story!
StaNdUPtomE chapter 54 . 1/6/2011
Not all the dying is done?

So of course I go to... they (Uriel and Vesper) are going to die, then as Uriel is saved Vesper is going to kill herself Romeo Juliet style, but then since she is being so carefully watched (and this is the last chapter) I am just waiting for her to poision herself, but alas I was suprised ( I really did think you were going to kill one of them)

But it was beautiful, sweet and a perfect ending, yet not an ending at all... wonderful!
xx-crissy-xx chapter 55 . 1/6/2011
This story was and is amazing. I am very sad to hear that you will be taking it down soon and that it has ended, but thank you for posting it and letting everyone enjoy it. I didn't think that I would fall as in love with this story as I did, but it had me. I could not get enough of this story. I hope you plan on trying to get this published, if you do it will be on my bookshelf. again, thank you for letting everyone enjoy this.
I Will Not Die I Will Survive chapter 55 . 1/6/2011
aw man i am so sad to see this story end :(, but i guess if you making a sequel i wont be sad for long :D, im just gunna say that i am so thankful you posted this story cause it is amazing.. im looking forward to sequel XD
Bipolarised chapter 55 . 1/6/2011
i just have to say congrats for finishing such a FANTASTIC story, you have truely master the art of writing and created awesome characters. you should consider publishing it, and as you said, the world you created has so many possibilities to be explored and i can only say good luck.

i think the only thing that needs fixing in the story, is that uriels history and his minipack and how he had met them should be narrated to the readers, that way, we would know what he had gone through before and after he met daniels pack.

thanks for keeping me entertained for many days and i truely cannot describe how much i enjoyed reading your story.

good luck for future endeavors
o0xMelzx0o chapter 55 . 1/6/2011
Loved it, loved it, LOVED IT!

So sad it ended but so happy you decided to go with a sequel! Can't wait to read it! I loved each chapter you wrote and this story has to be the best werewolf story here, your a great writer and hope this story gets published because it's so good!
M.Bianca chapter 55 . 1/6/2011
I haven't gotten around to reading the whole story, and what I have read I've almost forgotten (it's been such a long time!), bu what I do remember is that I certainly liked it.

I'd like to help you with editing, and certainly the German part. I'm not a native speaker, but I've been living in Germany for four years, so I think I'm good enough.

That would also be a good opportunity to reread it all.
first-2-fall-last-2-know chapter 55 . 1/6/2011
im too lazy to sign in but i loved the last chapter LOVED IT wanna marry it, its so swet
charliej chapter 54 . 1/5/2011
Congrats and take a bow. Wow! Great story. I loved every minute of it...well...not every minute. There were times I was cursing you thoroughly, but in a good way I guess because the story was so engaging.

I understand the need for a break. I'm just finishing my 4th book in 1 and a half years (probably around 400,0 words) and it's a draining but rewarding process.

Words of wisdom for you? Um...watch you POV. Because the last chapter was so long it contained several povs but there were a few times when I sort of did a head shake when we jumped from Nick to the doctor to Ahrn with no real warning.

I love your description and detail e.g. the rocks biting into her knees etc. I'm a description fanatic. On a very few occasions it was over done. I think this was because you had such great ideas of ways to describe a certain event or situation and you used all of them instead of picking and choosing. Wish I could think of a specific example at this very moment but I can't it. It was just a general impression I had a few times.

Once you've edited it, I hope you consider Indie publishing it as its a very gripping tale. I've had good success with both Smashwords and Feedbooks but there are lots of ebook stores appearing to chose from.

Best wishes and I'll look forward to your sequels when you begin them.

Nicky Charles
Sharky237 chapter 55 . 1/5/2011
First off, I would gladly help you edit your story. If you feel I am worthy then just send me a pm. (btw, I do much better at giving con-crit on a more personal basis then over reviews here on fp. If that makes any sense at all. I just feel that I can go into more depth in my suggestions for a story if I can quickly contact the author about it and we can have a discussion on it.)

What I loved:

Derrick. Derrick is my favorite character (well, besides Vesper and Uriel). I think that he has such great emotional depth, and he suffers! He loves Vesper deeply but will never be loved the same way in return and he doesn't get all broody and angsty about it either. That is an amazing character, and you did a fantastic job with his creation.

Kire (well, when we learn more about him.) Again, you created such a wonderfully tormented character. He is just so complex there is nothing to say about him other than he is amazing, and you did a fantastic job bringing him to existence.

What I didn't like:

Well, you know that the first 20 or so chapters were kind of bad in comparison to your later chapters. They just dragged...they were interesting enough to keep me hooked, but it still felt like forever to get to everything.

Conversely, sometimes you made big leaps. The one that stuck out in my mind the most was when Vesper had her Run. It went from Uriel becoming alpha to Vesper's Run with no transitioning material in between. I just would have liked to know what happened in that time. Did Uriel force her to have her Run? Did the elders just get fed up with her putting it off? Or something else? I am leaning to the first explanation, and if that is the case, I would have loved to see how that all played out.

Cain. You barely say anything about him, and then before the big battle, you introduce us to an actually endearing guy only to rip him away. Just a little bit more of Cain would have been nice.

Hmm, that is all I can think of for the time being. I just wanted you to know that I read 53 chapters of this story within a 3 day period and I thought it was absolutely amazing. For the most part it flowed incredibly well and you built everything on a foundation of information that you provided for us near the beginning of the story. There was nothing that popped out of the blue, all of it was built up to (I even had a strong suspicion that Kire and Uriel were brothers before you revealed it, just by all of the clues you left. )

I will say this again, you seriously need to consider getting this published. It is an incredible story and I believe that it would do incredibly well (for one, your characters are believable and nothing like the one-dimensional, craptastic, cliche characters of many supernatural stories out there *cough Twilight cough*.

Fantastic story, I absolutely adore it!

~~sharky
artificial destiny chapter 55 . 1/5/2011
-you're right. it definitely felt like you were a bit indecisive with both Vesper and Uriel.

I'd expected Vesper and Uriel both to die, but they kept coming back :X

but you have valid reasons haha,

best of luck!
artificial destiny chapter 54 . 1/5/2011
i can't believe it's done!

congratulations! i can't even begin to imagine the time and sheer effort it must have taken to write this. and inspiration! and talent! and dedication!

when you decide to publish your work, (yes, When) let me know!

i feel like we're friends already, simply judging by the amount of time i spend reading your work, and the amount of joy it gives me to do so!

good luck on anything and everything you decide to put your heart to, now and in the future! :)
pbgurl chapter 54 . 1/5/2011
I honestly thought Uriel had died. You really had me believing it for a while. I just about cried through the entire chapter, especially when Vesper was trying to get him out and he told her to leave him. Seriously I was just a sobbing mess, lol.

I'm so freaking happy Uriel is alive! As well as Derrick, Lucien, and Nick. _ I'm kind of sad though that Sauldin and Ahren are dead. Are they really dead though?

And I'm already missing Kire... :(

I'm assuming Leslie is still alive to though, right?

On an even sadder note, I'm really really REALLY going to miss this story. I was anxious to see how the story would end yet I didn't want it too.

You are a very talented writer and this was such a brilliant story. It's one of the best werewolf stories I have ever come across and I don't just mean in FP.

I really hope you get this published becuase it felt like I was already reading a novel that I bought from the bookstore.

-Liz :D
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