Reviews for His Queen of Thieves
Evelyn Downs chapter 1 . 7/14/2012
Hmmm...I am very intrigued. You should definitely keep going on this! My only advice is to be a bit more detailed-for example, you never gave us the rest of Acqura's hair color, only the white in it (though I admit I automatically assumed it black), also you could have quite a bit of fun with the tavern stuff. Really create some fun characters and interesting tidbits regarding the time period and place of your story. Then again, I have been known to be a bit heavy on the detail, myself...

Well, that's the only bit of "advice" I can really give you, other than to continue! XD It sounds great so far!

Nhyx
Jerusalem2045 chapter 1 . 3/4/2009
I like what I've read so far...wish you had continued hte story.
Caecilia chapter 1 . 8/16/2008
In your first sentence, I think you should make the 'out ride' into one word, so 'outride.' And in the second sentence I think you mean 'steed' instead of 'stead.'

You have an 'every' in the sentence where it's talking about lanterns over the tables that's missing it's 'y'.

When Zaldae is asking for the Queen of Thieves, you have an extra quotation mark slipped in there, you'll want to delete it. Also, "back tot he queen."

Other than the small mistakes that I found, I really like what you have so far. You've given me enough information to get me interested, yet you still keep it mysterious. And you have a nice sized first chapter. You're descriptions are pretty good too.

Look forward to seeing what you do with this story.

Beer Run August, at the Roadhouse [Link in profile]

Caecilia