|Reviews for Real Names|
| Jesse the Storyteller chapter 1 . 8/17/2008
The first line of your poem got repeated when you uploaded it to fictionpress. It's a really good idea to look over your work after you upload and before you post. I think that saying "My dove" towards the end is really awkward in that part of the poem - it's obvious you only chose it because it rhymed with "of". It doesn't seem to suit the poem. I like the lines "My heart with something that feels like love / or something new" just because they show the unorthodox nature of their relationship.
Attack of the review marathon! (link in profile)