Reviews for When You're Around
The Nifty Green Fish chapter 1 . 8/22/2008
I love that song!

I know this guy who it just about sums up. Man. Still don't know what's going on with that child...

Anyway, I interpret the song in a completely different way from how you do, but your poem is still pretty dang awesome. Which just goes to show that Motion City Soundtrack pwns, and things like that. (:
AK the Twilight chapter 1 . 8/20/2008
I found the main emotion incredibly ambiguous, that is, you keep contradicting yourself. But in a good way. At the end, you finally reach the emotional breaking point and collapse into a final line that sums up the poem well. Your word choice is strong and descriptive. Words like "fester" and "graceless" compliment the poem well and tie together the emotional loose ends.

I do have to say that these great descriptions feel confined to the second stanza. There could've been a bit more. Spread out your imagery to keep the second stanza from being static and heavy.

This poem follows some familiar territory and doesn't do a ton of stuff new, but the strong intensity and emotional wordings do the poem a fine duty. Keep up the good work.