|Reviews for a supermarket in new york city|
| michellemybelle chapter 1 . 11/21/2010
This was really excellent, and put together very nicely. Other than a few grammatical/mechanical mistakes, it was really awesome and thought-provoking. Thank you for writing.
| cypris88 chapter 1 . 8/25/2009
If you ever had to edit this severely to make it fit under a certain word count, consider nixing the first four paragraphs, besides the "wandering through a supermarket" line and the very last sentence in paragraph four.
Something about the employee throwing away the milk because it's "expired" makes it a very strong visual, and everything after that point just works together perfectly. The beginning feels a little disjointed in comparison.
David's last line about talking in person is kinda cute, but also sort of melancholy in the way he doesn't have the answers either.
And I constantly wonder what the land around me looked like before there was all this concrete.
Overall, great job!
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 8/31/2008
Wow. That is fabulous. I mean, the subject matter isn't, not by any means, but it was written so nicely. Loved the bit about Allen Ginsburg. That was perfect. Keep writing! :)
| Inapplicable chapter 1 . 8/23/2008
Beautiful and filled with raw, uncensored truth as per usual, dear. Your poems inspire me, filling me with thoughts that most would scoff at. I'm sure you've already had them, though.
| Tytherpol chapter 1 . 8/21/2008
i'm glad you write these
they make me feel like i'm not crazy or alone
if that makes any sense
plus your style is fantastic as if that's important