Reviews for Reasons why I hate Trentsville
Toshiro-sama chapter 9 . 12/6/2009
I adore this story! Starting with the fact that Adams a totally adorable jackass and poor Noah whose confused. There were a few gramatical errors and sometimes instead of she, you put in he. but all in all, its a great story.

Please update~
aninhas chapter 9 . 12/3/2009
i really like this story, at the begining it was a normal story (not in a boring kind of way, but in a "no monsters" kind of way -lol) and then suddenly there are demons!XD really original :)

please more
the cow on the box chapter 9 . 11/27/2009
update please love this story...
Marrs chapter 9 . 10/1/2009
This is an amazing story, been reading it since the first chapter and not one has disappointed. update soon, cant wait for it.
Mewenn chapter 9 . 8/31/2009
Uh okay so my last comment should have waited one more chapter and I could have let the part with the sister go. As well as the explanation thing (though the first chapters still need it, it has just gotten way way better). So since it looks like the story get better the more I keep reading I'll just keep going.
Mewenn chapter 8 . 8/31/2009
Okay so I thought I couldn't go on any longer without voicing (writing in this case) a few critics because it's interesting so I can't stop reading and thus my eyes won't stop bleeding. Don't get me wrong, the characterzation and plot alone will be enough for me to keep going but there are things as well that would usually make me stop and never come back (if I hadn't read something else from you that I liked I wouldn't even have gone past the first chapter).

First things first, you said that your grammar wasn't your strongest point. Okay that can happen. But by now I can already see an improvment so you absolutely need to go back over your chapters, decide wether this story is present tense or past tense and then change your verbs so that everything follow the same tense line (I think it was intended to be past tense because now they are more numerous but in the first few chapters it was just awfull) If you don't want to do it yourself, find a beta reader who will want to because I'm sure that half of your potentials readers stop at the firt chapter because of it. Really do it because it's annoying and at the beggining it was really really bad.

Then about this chapter and the last… you just don't catch the flu like that. Contrarily to popular belief cold weather can't give you a cold or the flu, you have to be in contact with someone who already has it. So either it's really the flu and it takes three days to incubate and then you have symptomes, or it's something else but I can't see what, or it's magically induced but then people should comment on how abnormal it is.

That's another thing. You don't give enough explanation to you readers in the story, before things happen, so half of the time we are more guessing what might be going on than understanding what's really going on (most of the time it's not too complicated to guess but it's not the way it should be, you'll notice that the stories you usually enjoy reading have enough clues/explanations/comments before we have the dialogues or actions so that we have a full understanding of what is going on and don't learn about it a chapter later. As an exemble, Noha's sleep walking was impossible to understand until they actually said it, a chapter later. Okay so he was confused when he fainted and didn't really have time to think about it when he woke up but you should still give us hints because until Mat brought him home I couldn't undrestand wether it was a dream, some kind of mind reading or anything else. So either he realize that he wakes up somewhere he shouldn't be waking up or… I can't think of something else, but you don't just keep on with the action without giving your readers a clue as to how it came to be like this.

Same goes with the demons, werewolves and such things. Nothing in the first few chapters almost (okay, we had the eye thing but that was all) and suddenly it's okay if there are demons and such in the town. And not only is it okay if Night is one, but by extension there must be more in the city. That's not normal, it took Noha time to come to this conclusion so give us hints, a thought here and there that something is wrong and a reasoning because it just came out of the blue and it's frustrating. So even if this one we get to understand without any trouble, the annoying part is that everyone in the story concider it normal, in that case you start the story with explanations, so that would be when Noha is in the car at the begining and he would thing something like "I though about it and about all the strange things going on in this town and came to the conclusion that..." and then we know what we should expect.

Then the thing with the little sister. Okay I haven't read past chapter eight, she might come back but in the meantime nothing has been resolved with her. Noha knows, people know that he knows, but no one does anything about it. It's just as if she never existed. That's not normal, get rid of her or do something with her but don't just forget about her for four chapters.

Now you used Noha's blindness rather well. No description of things by him, as far as we know, he doesn't see. But there is so much more you could do with it. He can't see but instead of just statings actions you could describe how they sound to him, or smell or even what they feel like on his skin… it's already quite good but it could get better.

Last thing that's bothering me, the thing with Noha being fat. Noha spends a lot of time hammering it to us that he was picked on because he was fat and that his brothers didn't want to be seen with him because of it and then you almost take a complete turn around and now he was just cute and people liked him for it… okay so Noha might have been the only one bothered by it and he projected that dislike on others, or the author just got messed up and forgot what she had written. Right now it's just confusing and need editing to either make it something you wanted (back to Noha thinking about it and coming to the conclusion that:" or change it back to how it was. Eight chapters in it just sounds as if you don't know where your story is going.

Still reading? I know that I am harsh but it's because I like the story, otherwise be sure that I wouldn't even bother comenting. I don't want to make you feel miserable and if that's all I managed to achieve then I'm sorry. I just want this story to be easier to read. I hope that my readers would be like this with my stories as well so if you feel like taking revenge don't hesitate to go read mine and find all the little things that don't fit together. I'm not saying that it should be easy for you to point out those things, when you're in the story it's difficult to see what doesn't fit anymore, that's why I'm pointing them out for you, because I don't know where you're taking us so I know when there is enough to understand what's going on and where there just isn't enough informations. I hope you won't take this review too badly.
runaway sheet chapter 9 . 8/27/2009
Wow, monumental moment when Noah actually yelled all that disturbing stuff about Adam and Taylor in the café. Strong, but sad.

Hey, the bros were actually quite considerate in a way even when they were kids. Though Noah is so reclusive. Poor guys been so mad at them that nothing else makes sense. Yes, the psychiatrist runaway sheet, indeed. So, how far off am I?

You finally explained more of the mythical creatures used in your story. YaY! But how did Noah come to the conclusion of genie from what Night said? I don’t see it.

Was going to ask where Matt was, but look, there he is. Well, not really, bu Night has made a cute little 9-year-old version of him spring up in my head. Aww, what sweetness. *squee*

Also the final paragraph was quite striking. K, so please don’t leave us hanging .. again! Haha, get the reference? No- aww, man. You suck. Ppt! There was a lot of confrontation in this chapter but not enough Matt screening. So, give us double next time. I wanna see the little emo dude before he self-destructs from guilt. Give Matti!
Lerene chapter 9 . 8/25/2009
I really liked this chapter. I liked the humor in the begining and all the stuff that went on in the middle and end. And Lucy is just too cute!
marylinn chapter 9 . 8/21/2009
Poor Noah and his brothers too. It sucks when you unload your feelings like that and feel like crap.

On the other hand, this chapter means more Matt next? I can't wait~

Thx for the update, and congratulations on an almost one-year anniversary for this story!
Sunshine Bear chapter 9 . 8/21/2009

but I am in a room with people watching a movie... so...


love ya.
dreamercrys chapter 9 . 8/21/2009
I hope Matt will stop avoiding Noah and they will be able to talk again and come to an understanding of some sort... Can't wait for more...
Kosaji chapter 9 . 8/21/2009

I love this story!

I can't fav it, tho, but I will bookmark it!

I can't fav it cuz its my sister's account

keep writing! please!
Poptart Guava King chapter 9 . 8/21/2009
aw i just wanna give noah a hug (as usual) and some Excedrin :D thnx for the update!
MAGICAL.NARRATOR chapter 9 . 8/21/2009
I love the concept of Matt's love for Noah. great chapter.

I'm curious about Night though. It seems like he has some ulterior motive for helping out Noah like this, I just don't know what it is.

great chapter

thecowonthebox chapter 9 . 8/21/2009
So exiting ! I like this chapter very much !

Great, great !

Matt is Noah soul mate...
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